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Podcast Episode's:
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Mary and Jean - Written By Alisdair Adams
Two very good friends Mary and Jean are visiting Sheffield Cathedral, listening to the church organ music, viewing the medieval art and enjoying their sandwiches. But what is Jean going on about? Illuminati Ham? Vajazzling? King Tutankamun’s Chiropodist? They’re soon joined by two other ladies and the conversation gets even stranger, including a story about a tragic accident involving triangular chocolate.
It’s just another crazy day in the middle of the steel city, as you join us for our very funny, new one-off audiodrama sitcom.
Starring: Janice Sampson, Gayle Hazelby, Sarah Betts, Mandy Sims and Alisdair Adams. Written By Alisdair Adams.
Listen:
The Call Out - By Phil Ryan
He had been at Fast Kill for six years and had already learnt so much about pest eradication. Including making plans, setting traps, laying bait and establishing kill zones. So he was confident in quitting to start his own pest control company. He soon discovered his first day working for himself would involve a potential cockroach infestation. He thought it would be easy. He was wrong.
The Call Out is a new horror Halloween audiobook for 2023. So get ready for a skin-crawling tale about those little bugs behind our walls and under our floorboards. Who will win in the battle between pest and eradicator?
Performed/Read By Tim Winters
Written By Phil Ryan
Produced & Directed by Peter Beeston
Listen:
The Killer Mine - Hammond Innes - Remake of 'Escape' OTR
Jim Price has been blackmailed by a criminal gang and forced to work deep underground, a half mile from shore and protected by only 20 feet of rock that he’ll soon be drilling and blasting. All he can do is pray to God that it doesn't cave in until he’s long on his way out.
But he’s not alone down here...
‘The Killer Mine’ is based on the novel of the same name by Hammond Innes. It was originally adapted into an episode of the 1951 CBS OTR radio series ‘Escape’ (the story from the novel heavily condensed to fit into the 30 minute format). It has been slightly re-written, edited and directed for 2023 by Peter Beeston. It has been remade for this years ‘Sonic Society’ summerstock festival in which modern audio-fiction companies take on the challenge of remaking classic ‘Old Time Radio’ shows.
The story is about Jim Pryce, a deserter from the British army who finds himself back in England working alongside criminals in an old abandoned tin mine. But they don’t want to mine any of this tin; instead they want to use the mine to illegally important liquor by exploding the main tunnel into the sea and flooding the mine.
Jim will have to fight for his life and escape the raging sea and a crazy old man if he’s to make it back to the surface and live another day.
Listen:
Hellstream
Humanity is under attack. Monsters born from the darkest depths, crawl the wretched streets day and night, killing and devouring all they find. The few people that survive, do so by living deep underground. But there is hope. There is entertainment. Because every night a select band of heroes around the world ride the great elevators to the surface. To battle the horde. To defeat the demons.
Broadcasting live onto millions of bunker monitors across the planet.
This is... The Hellstream!!
Warning: This production includes intense scenes of violence.
This work has been created in partnership with www.11thhouraudio.com
We all hope you really enjoyed this production; it was so much fun to make. We were influenced by trashy horror anime, Paul Verhoeven films and 'first person shooters' in putting this all together. We’d also love to hear from you if you enjoyed it, or want to get involved in future audiodrama productions with us.
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 70: A Season of Changes
James sits alone in his flat dreading the things that lurk outside. Margaret silently considers how much time she has left as a machine rhythmically measures her heartbeat. Kathy slowly worries about what she has lost and Jane tries to come to terms with what she now has to cut away.
It is a season of change for all four of them, and that’s when the lightbulb flickers for a brief moment before the filament breaks at its weakest point and everyone is left in darkness.
We all know it’s only temporary and lightness will surely soon return...... but can we ever be sure?
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 69: Fading Down The River
The future comes for us all eventually. No matter how many times we have fought the good fight. So on the morning of September 1838, the HMS Temeraire, known as the ‘Fighting Temeraire’, was towed down the Thames to her final destination. On that day, the artist William Turner looked upon the scene and immortalised it in what was later to become the nation’s favourite painting.
But there was more to this story than just a painting, but perhaps it is not the story you were expecting…
"Fading Down The River" is our new historical audiodrama. Written by Brian Stephenson and Christopher Bellamy. Starring Jasmine Warwick and Andy Rushworth.
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 68: The Exhibit
The gavel slams onto its pedestal and the audience burst into applause. All around them, the gallery is buzzing with conversations from its many occupants, who mingle amongst the different paintings, photographs and sculptures that reside in this beautiful and luxurious endless white room. At the back, beaming with pride; stands Oscar Johansson. He is the artist behind all of this work... even though most of it was created by ‘something’ else.
‘The Exhibit’ is our new Scripted-Podcast written by Andrew Shaktah, which investigates how Artificial Intelligence is increasingly being used to create new artistic works in a variety of fields. But at what point do the people behind the AI start to deserve as much credit as the artists themselves?
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 67: Sink With Me
Deep underneath the waves of the ocean, two young women are on an adventure to see what hides within these hidden dark depths. Yet, danger lurks within this alternative steampunk world and soon Evie and Savannah realise that their submersible might also become their permanent tomb.
So as the lights slowly fail and the air becomes cold, the only thing left between these two best friends are hidden secrets and forgotten emotions…
‘Sink With Me’ is our new emotional ‘steampunk audiodrama’ written by Jonas Tintenseher. Starring Julia Gu and Kim Gasiciel. We hope you enjoy listening!
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 66: Accelerator
Deep underground, in a secret location; a team of engineers and scientists are about to embark on a breakthrough experiment which could change our fundamental understanding of science and physics. But do these people actually understand what it is they are attempting and are they really correct in ignoring the dire warnings? They say monsters could be unleashed and that the timestream might even start collapsing backwards upon itself...
But that could never happen... could it?
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 65: Pod to Pluto
Today is going to be the last day for Jemima working as a UK space engineer. Once she’s finished this final job on adult satellite hugemongouswowwows.com , she’s taking the engineering-pod back to Command & Control for her leaving party. It’s going to be glorious. She’s going to make a funny yet poignant speech. People will cry and tell her that they’re going to miss her. She’ll be showered with gifts and then she’s going to Exeter with her boyfriend to start a new life!
She’s forgotten to put any of this in her protocol diary, but that won’t matter; will it?
This is a special one-off broadcast of our new #scifi #comedy #audiodrama. To listen to future episodes you’ll need to subscribe to the separate feed at http://www.cornucopia-radio.co.uk/pluto
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 64: Lonnie Taylor's Bigfoot Encounter
Lonnie Taylor is not a man given to sudden whims or flights of fancy and doesn’t believe in most things until they can be proven to him. But one day in 2002, while deer hunting on Hayden Ridge in Lytle County. He suddenly found himself a true believer in Bigfoot. A creature he’d never previously given any thought to.
‘Lonnie Taylor's Bigfoot Encounter’ is our new scripted documentary (narrated by 'Harper the Fox') about how the things we search for externally, can often be the truths we want to look for within ourselves...
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 63: Luck
I’ve never had any luck. Infact, my entire life has been plagued by bad luck. It just follows me around like a bad smell. I was born unlucky, and it’s followed me around ever since. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not bitter and I wouldn’t swap my life for the world, but couldn’t I have just a bit of what other people have?
Luck is our brand new comedy audiodrama about living with badluck and even worse weather...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 62: Reluctant Genius By Henry Slesar
It is said that life crawled up from the slime of the sea bottom and became ‘Human’ because of some inherent greatness that was bred into us before the dawn of time. But perhaps this urge was not as formless as we might have first thought…
For this experimental production we had three different people read out the same short story in its entirety. We then edited/mixed these voices together; creating this unique multicast recording.
Please note: This work was originally written for the January 1957 edition of ‘Amazing Stories’ magazine. Copyright on this publication was not renewed, and it is now in the public domain.
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 61: The Origins of Comic-Book Boy
They are stories of heroism, strength and of courage. Stories in which one person can stand up against the darkness that surrounds us, and say with total conviction and self-belief; that they are the ‘light’. We see pages full of colour and life, in which kinetic action moves across the panels. Dancing in front of our eyes, filling our imagination with endless possibilities...
Comics are a way of life for so many people, but do we truly understand their power? More importantly; if that power was ever unleashed, would it be used for good or for evil?
So today, we're asking the question. What would we create?
A superhero, or perhaps... a monster?
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 60: One Last Time
While a backyard tree bellows silently in the wind; Barbara Knox attends her husband David’s crematorium service. Naturally she is sad but also secretly, a little angry. You see, there are unresolved issues between the two of them and questions that still remain unanswered.
However as we will soon discover in our new audiodrama; David's story isn't yet over. He needs her help and somehow he finds a way to turn back to Barbara. For one last time...
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 59: Dylan and Blod
Dylan and Blodwyn are sat on a welsh mountainside about to start their weekly picnic. However the picnic basket remains closed and we can only but guess what they’ve brought along to eat. Who knows, perhaps they’ve forgotten to bring anything at all?
It’s happened before...
They’ve been sat in silence for some time now. The sky remaining overcast and the air hanging heavy and thick. Suddenly, Blodwyn recalls the question she wanted to ask. The question she knew she had to ask. She turns to Dylan and begins to speak...
Hear the original radio series at: http://www.cornucopia-radio.co.uk/dylan-and-blod-talk-about-dai
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 58: Stone
Long ago when the universe was young. Alicia Harker, the Twelfth Daughter of Destiny, took the mettle of a dead god and forged it into a bronze hand. That hand would bestow good fortune on anyone who owned it. She then discarded it by a roadside, where it might be found and passed from person to person, bringing good fortune to those who’d done nothing to deserve it.
And once every hundred years, she sets out on an adventure to discover it and see what its latest beneficiary’s made of a luck so randomly granted. At least, that was the plan…
Stone is a new light hearted fantasy-drama about the purposes we bestow in the objects we own. Written by Stephen Walker, author of cult hits ‘Danny Yates Must Die’ and ‘Mr Landen Has No Brain’.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 57: Spring Poetry Collection
Spring is a magical time of year; when bountiful possibility appears in front of us and everything is reborn anew. So to celebrate the start of the season, we’ve created a lush soundscape of classical spring poetry, sounds of nature and amazing instrumental musical pieces. It’s all designed to take you to a place more magical than this...
We also encourage you to listen to this while walking about in whatever local nature surrounds you. Wherever you are in the world, we hope this podcast can help you experience your own personal and unique start to spring.
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 56: Unrespected
From the legendary ‘City of Steel’ comes a little stripped down radio satire. Tackling the big issues of the day with wit, wisdom and an old radio sound-effects LP from 1982 that we found at a car boot.
Join us as we take a deeper look at a beleaguered NHS and Rail Network. Visit the island of a crazed TV obsessed scientist and try to live life without modern technology. We'll also discover more about a certain 'Messiah Dinosaur', take a quick visit to a charity shop and lastly go for a trip with Mrs Ravioli; who is always a pleasure to drive for.
One thing is for sure. We’re all Unrespected!
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 55: The Legend Of Nic and Joe - Christmas Special
Nic and Joe are dead and Merlin the storyteller must try to rescue their legend from the mists of time, with one last story and a little help from a few familiar faces, like thingy and whatsit.
The epic finale to the interminable series, tells of a Christmas miracle, which sees Nic and Joe come face to face with a new friend - in the vague snow-based shape of Dave Benson Phillips. What could possibly go wrong...?
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 54: Last Gambit in Lisbon
During World War Two, Portugal remained neutral. Many of the people who found themselves there had little choice as to where they might live, work and even survive. Among those who had had little choice but to be in Portugal was Alexander Alekhine, the World Chess Champion.
Alexander is a man looking for a life away from sitting alone in his hotel room with nothing but a chess board on a table and dinner in his lap. He is looking for inspiration, looking for his muse and ultimately, a way to return to his previous glory...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 53: Welcome to Budley
Welcome to Budley. Although not visible on any map or satnav, this village is home to sporting champions, failed soap stars, fitness innovators and a whole host of unique characters who once met, are never forgotten. Also whilst we want you to enjoy your stay in Budley, we accept no responsibility for financial loss and damages to person or property, including crimes committed by gnomes.
So enjoy your stay and best of luck trying to find your way out.
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 52: Unglued
Like all relationships it was based on a commonality. A relational glue that binds two people together. For Beth and Stew it was their daughter Holly. That was the glue that held the relationship together. But what happens to that relationship when the glue goes away? Did they ever really know each other? Can they survive a personal tragedy such as this?
Unglued is a brand new audio drama from playwright Paul Kenny, about the death of a couple’s daughter and how they try to cope with the loss.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 51: Radio Fore Extra
Welcome back to the continuing story of “Radio Fore”; the secret, long forgotten mothballed sister station for ‘Radio 4′. It was supposed to be a fresh start, a bolder, less middle-class approach to talk radio, but it all went terribly wrong. Now, in the basement passages of Broadcasting House stalks a lumpen, ghoulish, benighted creature, once known as ‘Radio Fore’, the ill-shapen bastard offspring of its elder sibling. However, some of the recorded shows occasional leak into the public domain…
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 50: Budge and Sundance
Across the galaxy, a great evil empire has arisen. One which threatens the existence of every living creature in the entire cosmos. Never before has there been such a need for heroes to stand up and make a difference, as only those most noble of heart and strong in spirit can turn back the tide.
And this story tells the tale of the two greatest heroes of them all. Two simple small Budgerigars, on a small insignificant little blue planet known as Earth, who are about to embark on an epic adventure which will save the universe. Or maybe not.
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 49: Bits and Bobs
Jeannie is an American citizen who relocated to Sheffield with her family several years ago and whose US driving license expired shortly after arrival. However with 20 year of driving experience under her belt she felt confident about obtaining a UK license. That is until she had to take the test. Until she meet her instructors.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 48: Your Life in Our Hands
Imagine a world without consequence. A world in which your actions no longer lead directly to your death. A world in which our specially trained team monitor you every minute of every day and if we think you are about to have an accident, we freeze time, fill out the required paperwork, charge you a standard high rate premium fee, restart time and place you back just out of harms way.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 47: The King of Rome
A pigeon race as every fancier knows begins with a basket. But with a hundred different finish lines, each one a backyard loft. When does a pigeon race end? In 1913 Charlie Hudson entered one of his pigeons in a race from Rome to England. On the day of the big race, a storm blew in and a thousand birds were swept away and never seen again. Apart from one.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 46: True Colours
Have you ever stopped and wondered about the colour of the things that surround you? For example, have you ever wondered why an orange is called an orange? Was it named after the colour, or was the colour named after the fruit?
Chances are you might not consider the colour of the life that surrounds you as very important, but it wouldn't take much to shift your reality around. It wouldn’t take much at all...
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 45
This month we feature a collection of short comedy, drama and poetry that we have recently produced but has not yet been broadcast on the podcast. Featuring Wild Bill Hickok at the JobCentre, a different form of internet piracy, poems from the 'Rother Valley poetry collective' and a new radio play in which a young woman discovers that sometimes having the right answer does not always lead to the correct choice.
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 44: Flood
Jenny is standing in her bedroom cleaning a pair of walking boots. She is in her underwear. There is a mirror, a small table, a rail of clothing and a double bed. A long nighty is on top of the bed and underneath it sits a small cardboard box. She patiently waits for her husband to return while outside the rain continues to fall as it has done all day. It is 2007 and the Sheffield flood has just started.
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 43: Radio Fore
In the winter of 2007 under conditions of utmost secrecy. BBC managers created a now mothballed sister station for Radio4. Supposed to be a bolder and less middle-class approach to talk radio. It all went terribly wrong and the vast range of commissioned shows has never been heard by the pubic to this day. Until now...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 42: Pot Noodles and Knickers
Dave thought it seemed like a good idea at the time. An invigorating hiking trek across the peak district with his best friend Kevin. It would help him take his mind off all the relationship, family and work problems which had seemingly overwhelmed him of late. But unfortunately, the trip which awaited him would only contain injuries, secrets, lies, ramen style instant snack foods and incredible clumsy metaphors.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 41: The Wires are Down
Adam and Suzanne are in love but a question about their sexual past leads to jealousy and mistrust which they must overcome if the relationship is to survive. However the specter of Thatcherism casts a long shadow across the decades and highlights the class divide between them. Somehow they will both have to come to terms with their own expectations from life and each other.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 40: We Dream Ourselves Each Day
Sarah sits in the empty white room, staring blankly at the wall. She doesnt know why she is here and she doesnt know what they want. All she does know, is that out there, somewhere, her family is waiting and that she will do anything to find a way back to them. She will do whatever it takes.
Listen:
Cornucopia Podcast 39: Christopher Walkens Xmas Storybook
Our story takes place the night before Christmas, outside the magical and wondrous structure that is Santas Workshop. It is a scene of busy preparation and anticipation, as a years worth of hard work finally comes to fruition. So as Santas little helpers run around checking every final detail, and Santa himself suits up for a night of delivering presents to children across the world, the Reindeer find themselves preparing for the trip ahead in their own special way.
Unknown:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 38: A Mothers Love
When her son Tony, a comprehensive school Teacher, is sent to prison for abusing one of his 14 year old female pupils, his mother Christine is plunged into a nightmare.
Set against the backdrop of her visits and letters post sentence, her confusion soon turns to anger as she is forced to examine her true feelings for her only child as his denial and minimisation brings with it a realisation that their relationship must change if it is to survive the sentence and beyond....
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 37
Once again we return to the world of podcasting with three new short productions that all deal with that thing we lovingly call life. We start by exploring the highs and lows (plus the nail polish) of a local temping agency. We then jump back 70 years and listen to a surprisingly prophetic women hiding within the London underground during the blitz. Finally, we are introduced to Kaz and Donna, two young women who have nothing but their makeup, UggBoots and bus tickets to help them make it through the day.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 36: The Tight Ann Hic
Declan Deck has invented something which he feels will change the very nature of what we consider standing and what we consider sitting. He calls it an easy-to-erect-and-collapse-one-size-fits-all-canvas-covered-chair (although he’s flexible on future name changes).
He thinks that perhaps a soon-to-be-launched, metal-clad, yet unsinkable boat (featuring four funnels, five decks & one lifeboat), will be the perfect place to demonstrate his new sessio-esque device. But somewhere, out in the Mid-Atlantic, sits a lonely and tone-deaf iceberg who has a very different idea…
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 35: Three Moments
Moments can occur when you least expect them, existing for only the briefest of instances; often leaving you wondering if such an experience could ever happen again. They might find you alone, happy, excited or regretful. But remember, they will find you...
Rita Fosdyke is in her early sixties and sits alone in a room. She’s dressed very elegantly, sitting in front of a mirror and applying the final touches to her make-up. A beautiful vase of flowers sits upon her desk and nearby, a hat waits patiently upon its stand. Elsewhere, David Mackenzie sits alone in a modest living room. In front of him, on an old stained coffee table, sits an urn. It’s lid awkwardly taped shut by sticky tape. Lastly, Audrey Williams finds hereself walking down a drab, grey hallway within her local police station. Alongside her walks an officer who struggles to hide a sarcastic smirk from crawling across his face. They turn a corner and enter a small white room; containing nothing but a few plastic chairs.
Slowly, they all begin to speak.
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 34
In this months podcast we’ll check out the latest breakthrough in artificial intelligence, have a go at restarting the cold war, see if pressing a button could really get you a cool million dollars and finally, we'll ask what would have happened if Juliet had settled down and married Romeo.
It’s all here on the “Cornucopia Radio Show Podcast”: The Home of Imagination!
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 33: The Last Person in this Place
How simple is it to leave behind a place that you know so well? A place that you built with your own two hands? Even if everyone else had already given up and moved on; could you still allow yourself to just walk away and forget it was ever there?
For Tom, that place was Myspace, and deep down he knew he'd never leave...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 32: Bit of a Fairytale
Outsiders might see the magic forest as an enchanted place; full of amazement and wonder. But for the people that have to walk these cobbles? Well, they see it all a bit differently. They know all to well that you don’t have to scratch very far to discover the criminal scum lurking behind every toadstool.
So here we find ourselves; outside a little wooden cabin, deep within the magic forest. As unbeknownst to them, two law enforcement officers are about to crack the case of their lives...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 31: The Bluff Cove Disaster
The ‘Bluff Cove Disaster’ is our new radio play; taking place during the end of the ‘Falklands War’. As one man's obsession leads to a mistake that no one will ever forget...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 30: Green
After vandalising a local bowling green; Michael, a young troubled teen is forced to help repair the damage he’s done and learn the implications of his actions. While there, he finds himself taken under the wing of ‘Ted’; who wants to help Michael get his life back on track. But life; like the game of bowls, isn’t as simple as it first seems.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 29: Thanks to Harry
Thanks to Harry, is a new production written by Phil Ryan from Storm-Productions and produced by the creative team here at Cornucopia Radio. It tells the tale of someone who uses his skills as a magician to help create a better life from himself, his friends and the woman he loves.
Because remember, sometimes what you see isn't necessarily what you see...
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 28
If you’re reading this; then we’d like to give you a little bit of advice. You should really download this podcast. Yes granted, we’re not that impartial, especially considering as it’s our own product. But where else are you going to find a comedy sketch podcast featuring: interplanetary warfare, philosophy funk parties, Antarctic-treks, the damaged mind of Godzilla, time paradoxes and an exclusive relaxation mixtape by Michael Bay?
Don’t bother answering by the way as we’re being rhetorical. You’re not going to find it anywhere but here!!
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 27: The Lost Tales of Sherlock Holmes
Some might have thought these stories lost for an eternity, but we’ve found them! So we’re proud to present, a new selection of some of the most unusual and amazing adventures to befall our favourite pipe smoking detective: ‘Sherlock Holmes’. Written and performed by the ever insightful Christopher Bellamy.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 26: Fractured Lives
‘Fractured Lives’ explores how the First World War literally fractured lives. The war’s many casualties were not just amongst the dead. There were the men maimed and disabled with scars that would blight the rest of their lives. The play also has resonance for the present day, as wars and international conflicts continue to fracture lives, leaving scars and injuries that can last a lifetime. Today men still return from war’s ‘theatre’ to play out new roles that they have not chosen.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 25: Halloween Special
Have you ever felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, the chills going up your spine until you feel like you have to shake this feeling off your back? No matter how silly it feels?
Or how about those times when you feel like someone is looking over your shoulder? So much so, that you can almost feel someone breathing down your neck?
Listening to this podcast, as you are right now; alone in a darkened room, the disturbing feelings become stronger than ever and so intense that you feel the need to keep looking behind you; just to reassure yourself that you’re still alone.
And that’s when it will strike.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 24: A Grave Reunion
Steven Hutchinson was on his way to meet an old friend; somebody from his past for whom a dark secret had once been hidden.
Yet, as he crossed the road and approached the location they'd arranged to meet, he found himself trying to comprehend a myriad of emotions and questions he wasn’t sure he ever wanted the answer to.
He never saw the car that hit him that day. The car that killed him...
A Grave Reunion is the new Poetry-Play from Nick Card, telling the story of four friends coming back together again after ten years to morn the passing of somebody from their past. Somebody who is important to all of them...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 23: Commander Awesome
Who is faster than a speeding stock market crash, more powerful than a government bailout, and able to leap tall employment figures in a single bound?
Yes! It's Commander Awesome & Liberty Lad, and in times of severe fiduciary strife; they are the only superhero duo you will ever need (especially if you're also a keen purchaser of high quality ex-superhero items on ebay)
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 22: Martians Never Die
'Martians Never Die' is the next in our series of updated radio sci-fi pieces from the forties and fifties. Re-recorded with new actors, modern sound effects and atmospheric music.
During these productions we try to stick to the original script as closely as possible; in-turn seeking to create modern, yet strangely old fashioned pieces of radio drama.
What is the ideal bodyguard? The most ferocious looking? The most efficient killer? Or the most devoted? On Earth, you might find a combination of all three, but it’d never be as effective as the curious creature which came back from Mars with Dr. Clyde Curtis; the first human to ever step foot on the red planet.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 21: The Lock
It was a long, late night and Julie finds herself being woken up from a dreamworld by Karen, her best friend since childhood. Together, on this bright morning they will discuss many things, including their past, present and future.
And maybe they’ll find out why Julie left the front door unlocked...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 20: Digging Deep
‘Digging Deep’ tells the story of a community and a friendship that struggled to survive during the 1984-85 ‘Miner’s Strike’. Two people coming together for the first time in 25 years. Remembering the decisions that they had to make and the consequences that were bound to follow...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 19
It’s the start of a new year, but that isn’t going to stop us! In fact nothing is going to stop us now; as we produce yet another haphazardly constructed and poorly thought out comedy podcast!
This month featuring: snowmen, cardboard people, insurance companies, the titanic, ducks & dogs & cows, inserted radios, sex shops and trainee airline pilots.
Oh, and a free ‘Air Pie with Oxygen Filling’ for every new podcast subscriber...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 18: Hitting The Wall
It is said that Pheidippides, an Athenian herald, was sent to Sparta to request help when the Persians landed at Marathon, running 150 miles in just two days. After this, he then ran another 25 miles from the battlefield near the town of Marathon to Athens to announce the Greek victory over Persia in the Battle of Marathon with the word "Νενικήκαμεν", meaning 'We have won'. He then collapsed and died on the spot due to exhaustion.
Many years later; in the town of Sheffield, we find ourselves focused on the adventures of a very unfit man trying to complete his first ever Marathon. He’s only just started and already he’s thinking about catching a bus...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 17
The meaning of ‘Three’ is all about the union of two parts to create a unique whole. That point of union forms the fruit of knowledge; it is our access point to unlimited potential. Because if ‘One’ represents force, and ‘Two’ represents an opening, then ‘Three’ is the birthing of true wisdom through a forced opening.
So, let us ‘force your opening’ with the “Free by Three” special. Starting with “Falling”, a tale about the denial of gravity. Then later on you’ll hear us helping the public with “The Poetry Technical Support Line” and lastly, we’ll tell you about an object which everybody truly desires. We call it, “The Macguffin”
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 16
We’ll start with long slow phone-call before we move onto an empty restaurant, there’s a guinea pig... in a bowl of soup....yeah that’s right...soup!
Then we’ll wait, we’ll let you try to take in what you’ve just heard. Then boom! You’re in deep space, didn’t see that one coming; did you?
We’ll knock you down onto the ground with a quick one-two! Dog sedatives and 'Junking the Junk'. You won’t know what hit you.
Finally you’ll think it’s all over, after all why wouldn’t it be? But you’re wrong, cause you’ve forgotten about a little trip to the dentist...haven’t you?
Oh, what's that? You didn’t forget about it? Okay, sorry our mistake.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 15
Three important characters stand on a windy hilltop. One is known as Rock, the strongest and bravest of the group. Another calls herself Scissors; she is as sharp as she is deadly. Finally, struggling to avoid being blown away in the wind, we find Paper. He is flat. He is nothing else.
Elsewhere a string puppet is entering a brothel for the first time in his life. He wants to bang wood (without getting a splinter!). Meanwhile, a TV plays to itself in a shop window. The show Backpeddle is just starting; yet again somebody will have to atone for crimes levelled against it by the British press. Across the road, Pam is opening up her pet shop for another day. As she does, she views a pantomime horse crossing the road; she wonders where he is going in such a rush. The Pantomime horse is going for a job interview; he knows the job is already his.
Do all these events have anything in common? Well, they might....
They might...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 14: Fishing
‘Fishing’ tells the story of a son’s last ditch attempts at connection and reconciliation with his dying father Frank; who as the cancer takes over his body, is becoming increasingly bitter and frustrated at the prospect of losing control over what little time he has left. In the hospice, he dreams of one last “adventure” of his own, a return to one of his favourite fishing spots to ‘hit’ a Tench or two and sink a Pint of Kington’s at ‘The Royal’.
Realising that time is of the essence, Phil ‘kidnaps’ his Father from the clutches of ward sister “Eva Braun” and on a hired narrow-boat and borrowed time, the two men embark on a journey of discovery revolving around the only activity they ever shared - Fishing.
As they make their journey along the rivers and canals, the two men learn some painful home truths as long held secrets and opinions rise to the surface and with time running out, Phil is forced to reassess his commitment to the trip and ultimately his Father. Can he make it to the bitter end or will his selfish, middle class sensibilities betray them both?
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 13
I was trying to think the other day, about how old I might have been when I first heard about it. It’s odd, a memory like that you’d imagine would be seared into my very brain, but no…
I’d guess, I was maybe seven or eight. I do recall a friend saying his uncle had bought one and he’d seen it himself. Of course, all kids lie and looking back now; I suspect at that age he wouldn’t have actually recognised one if it was stood next to him.
However, later in life as you enter your teens, you begin to question things more. You want to know the ‘why‘ as much as the ‘how‘. I remember it seeming odd that everybody talked about this thing, yet nobody could tell me what it looked like. People were always vague when they talked about it. Never really making it clear if they did actually own it, or had once had it, or secretly longed for it. But it quickly became obvious to me, that if anybody did have it, they were keeping it very secret.
Also, I had always assumed that it was something you had to buy. I mean how could you not? But the stories I had heard or read, seemed to suggest that some people had been given it, some people had found it, but most worryingly of all; a lot of people had stolen it. Once I knew this, I of course realised why everybody was always so mysterious about whether they had it or not. To admit you have it, or to show it to other people was almost like asking somebody to take it from you.
So, as I left my teenage years and strode into adulthood, I found myself living in a world obsessed by it. Despite the fact that it’s image has never been worse. After all, as an object it is often faulty and tends to look out of place no matter where you keep it. As a service it is often slow and rarely up to the task at hand and as an idea, perhaps it’s time has passed. Still, maybe I’m wrong. Many will tell you it’s the greatest thing humanity has ever held in its grasp. It saves many more lives than it kills. It’s brought so many of us together who would otherwise be alone, and the amazing advancements in production, means it’s now small enough to hold in your hand.
I don’t have it in case any of you are thinking that. Although maybe that’s just what I want you to think. If I did have it, wouldn’t this be the perfect way to hide it from you? Create a webpage and write as if I have no clue or desire. Maybe, it’s sat next to me as I type these words…Maybe.
Whether you think I have it or not. Whether anybody has it, or whether something you’ve never really seen, can ever really exist. Keep in mind, there are millions of ‘things’ you can have, so why limit yourself to just one. I guess ultimately you’ve just got to learn think for yourself and not follow a “McGuffin”
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 12: The House
You stand in front of the door. You hand held in mid-air, posed to knock upon the harsh wooden surface. But you don’t. You barely move at all. Instead, you let the gentle summer breeze wash over you. You’re scared! Scared of entering “The House”...
“The House” is a new concept poetry play. Previously produced by the ‘Cornucopia Team’ as an album release for ‘Amnesty International’ and now available as an exclusive podcast.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 10
Fermat’s last theorem said if an integer n is greater than 2, then the equation a + b = c has no solutions in non-zero integers a, b, and c. Which is just silly when you think about it. Instead, listen to this; we’ve got Banksy, Ronnie Corbett, Anthony Worrall Thompson, spam emails, M.C Escher, and a history of medicine. We've got it all...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 9: Xmas Special!
Santa is having a rather bad 2008. First of all, he’s had all the money in his landsbanki bank account suspended, quickly followed by the discovery of a series of offensive messages left on his answerphone from two out of control BBC DJ’s.
Elsewhere, a selection of unemployed high street bankers are having to go out carol singing to make some money this Christmas, but pretty soon a better idea presents itself...
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 7: Halloween Special
In a very special edition of the cornucopia podcast, we present some short spooky stories and poems, all written and performed by the cast. “Blood and Tears” features a typewriter with a thirst for blood and “Everything will be Okay” tells a story about the fall of humanity and a flesh eating virus. We’ll also challenge you to listen to Gloomy Sunday without taking a very long sleep that can last a lifetime.
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 6
Stop, look and listen. Once you’ve done that, start out by checking out our credit crunch report or some startling courtroom dramas. Then settle down for a little “Chicken and Fox” action, followed by the “News at Zen”. Please note; Ronnie Corbett has been banned from the studio...
Look it clear we’re going nowhere. So you better get used to us!!
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 5
The door to this podcast is always open, mainly due to mechanical failure. So look inside for fighting fonts, Yorkshire clichés, a guide to stalking, answer-phone messages and funky philosophy. Are you even reading this??
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Cornucopia Radio Podcast 4
This podcast will fit you like a suit of armour. It’s perfect, it works; don’t change a thing!!!
You’ll start with a full introduction to the “Police Academy” before taking a very quick visit to Mars (take a jacket, it’ll be chilly). Once you return, will have a look at your horoscope, before trying on some “Cruel Shoes”. To end your day, we’ll all take a quick spin in the “Large Hedron Collider”
Look, I’m not meant to be telling you this, but you’ve only got 31 minutes to live. So, you better download this...
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 3
To create the following podcast, you will need:
The city of Rome, a tank full of petrol, some dog liver, a busy art gallery, plus some kind of pocket computer. Make sure you mix with “Great Gusto” and then leave out in the sun until it becomes a public nuisance.
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 2
Listen on your ipod, listen on your computer. Listen while enjoying the sunshine. Listen while jogging. Listen while having a drink. Listen while poking a badger with a stick. Listen, listen, listen!
This week we have: Armies, Sherlock Holmes, Office Zombies, Ronnie Corbett, Moon Landings, and eyeball gouging...
If you like it; try and tell 6 people about the podcast, then get them to tell six other people and so on and so on. By law if we do this enough, Kevin Bacon will end up listening....
Listen:
Cornucopia Radio Podcast 1
Welcome to the first podcast; in this compressed but concise package: You’ll find out why the internet was invented, discover how to put together flat pack furniture, listen to the colour blue, learn to cook with Mr ‘Worrall Thompson’ and you might even manage to catch 40 winks near the end. It’s like drain cleaner, BUT FOR YOUR HEAD!!!
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