Ep 66: Jamey Stegmaier - World's Worst Game
It’s all fun and games this week on Worst Foot Forward as Ben and Barry welcome Jamey Stegmaier to talk about the World’s Worst Game. Jamey is the founder of Stonemaier Games (https://www.stonemaiergames.com) and in the last decade he has created some of the highest-rated board games in the world such as Scythe and Viticulture. We cast our eyes on a few board games including a plethora of Monopolies, a few drinking games including one which enraged a pope, and a few sexy games whose players range from modern American college kids to repressed Edwardian gentlefolk.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @jameystegmaier @podnose
Worst Foot Forward is part of Podnose: www.podnose.com
Ep 65: A Gay and A Nongay - World's Worst Friendship
This week we're joined by podcast royalty and bosom buddies James Barr and Dan Hudson, aka A Gay and a Nongay to discuss what happens when friendship turns sour.
As ever, we gallop through the history books to uncover the reality behind royal whipping boys, a strangled Moorish poet, a million ways to stab your brother in the back and what happens when you get to over-familiar with bears. (Massive clue: you get eaten and have a documentary made about you by a brilliant, yet creepy German guy.)
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @gaynongay @imjamesbarr @danhudson @podnose
Worst Foot Forward is part of Podnose: www.podnose.com
Ep 64: Tulip Siddiq MP - World's Worst Fashion Accessory
Handbags and glad-rags time, as Ben and Barry record an episode in the Houses of Parliament in London, no less! And joining them is a dedicated follower of fashion and Labour Party Member of Parliament for Hampstead and Kilburn, Tulip Siddiq. Taking time from her busy schedule, Tulip's love of style is on full display as she confesses to past - and present fashion faux pas. Meanwhile Barry tries to insert a dog into a muff and Ben does his utmost to gross everyone out with invasive jewellery and lizards.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @TulipSiddiq @podnose
Worst Foot Forward is part of Podnose: www.podnose.com
Ep 63: Jon Dryden Taylor - World's Worst Opening Ceremony
Tan-tan-tara-tara splutter splutter cough… This episode reaches you with a dribbly fanfare, a shambling parade and a few dubious musical acts, like all the very Worst Opening Ceremonies. Yep, this week we’re talking to actor and writer Jon Dryden Taylor about those very arcane mixed-bags which have preceded great events. We visit Hollywood in the dark days of the late 80s, Olympics and World Cups rife with scuffed penalties and roasted doves, and learn why the Magic Kingdom was a lawless wasteland on its opening day.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @JonDryTay @podnose
Worst Foot Forward is part of Podnose: www.podnose.com
Ep 62: Tez Ilyas - World's Worst Centre Back
It's back to one of our favourite Sunday afternoon pub conversations this week as we go searching for more terrible footballers for our all-time worst XI. This week, we fill the centre-back spot and there are a rogues gallery of misfits, cheats and actual criminals all jostling, badly, for the spot. Our guest is football fan, Blackburn Rovers fanatic and tremendous stand-up comic Tez Ilyas.
We discover the story of the farcical Combination League - a precursor to the Football League in the 1880s which lasted less than a season, how and why the Madagascan champions lost 149-0 and who exactly was a "bastard's bastard" during the 1970s.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @tezilyas @podnose
Worst Foot Forward is part of Podnose: www.podnose.com
Ep 61: Stevyn Colgan - World's Worst Policeman
Hullo hullo hullo...what have we got here then?
Why officer, it's an episode all about the worst coppers of all time. We invited on QI elf, novelist, lateral thinker and ex-policeman with over 30 years service Stevyn Colgan to join us in settling the subject. As you'd expect, there's plenty of disreputable plods and dastardly inside jobs including brothels, speed cameras, three-card tricks, cross-dressing, lollipops and a very enthusiastic revolutionary. Have a listen and we're sure you'll agree it's a fair cop.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @stevyncolgan @podnose
Worst Foot Forward is part of Podnose: www.podnose.com
Ep 60: Spring Day - World's Worst Family Tradition
We’ve a spring in our steps and a Spring in the studio this week as Brooklyn’s sharpest wit Spring Day is with us to talk about the World’s Worst Family Traditions. We mine the murky world of Reddit and our very own listeners for pranks and Stacks, we shove vicious insects into various items of clothing and we put so many babies in peril. So many babies…
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @springdaycomedy @podnose
Worst Foot Forward is part of Podnose: www.podnose.com
Ep 59: Helen Arney - World's Worst Element
It's time to get out our Bunsen Burners and boil everything down to its most basic constituent parts: if we can work out what the worst element in the world is, perhaps we can uncover the secrets behind all heroic failure?
Joining us this week is breathtakingly smart and multi-talented chanteuse of the science world Helen Arney. Part of the Festival of the Spoken Nerd, Helen has appeared on TV and Radio as both a science communicator, madcap experimenter and dab hand with the ukulele. Together we navigate through the tricky quarries full of Kryptonite (all 22 varieties), sinister red mercury, dull old Boron and the phoenix-like astatine.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @helenarney @FOTSN
Ep 58: Felix Trench - World's Worst Day
It’s a beautiful day! Our guest this week is the actor Felix Trench, star of the podcast sitcom ‘Wooden Overcoats’ (http://www.woodenovercoats.com) and history graduate who thumbs through the Worst Foot Chronicles to look for the World’s Worst Day. There are quite a few to choose from… Felix gives us a worldwide tour of the year 1556, Ben harks back to the day the 20th Century began and Barry does a double-take as he discovers his calendar has a February the 30th.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @felixtrench
Worst Foot Forward is part of Podnose: www.podnose.com
Ep 57: Matt Stellingwerf - World's Worst Punishment
We're joined this week by award-winning Kiwi comic and former criminologist Matt Stellingwerf to cover a seriously grisly topic: the world's worst punishment.
This episode comes with a serious content warning as we delve into the depths of human behaviour to discuss capital punishments with the sort of inventiveness normally reserved for Wallace and Gromit. Our search takes us from medieval Spain to Enlightenment Sweden, with nods to Greek myths, Greek history and depressing American present. You'll learn a lot in here and hopefully come away not too depressed about the nature of humanity...
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @M_Stellingwerf @podnose
Episode 56b: The World's Worst 'Best Of 2017' Episode
This week on Worst Foot Forward we are celebrating joining Podnose, the UK’s leading independent entertainment podcasting network. To mark this, we’re looking back over our first year (and a bit) of trivial silliness and awful achievements. We’ve picked out some of our favourite facts and fripperies from episodes 1 to 53, featuring some of our very best guests and very worst worsts, including understudy dogs, delicious seagull wine, Sexy Pac-Man and #goatballs. If you’re a longtime listener or are tuning in for the very first time, this should give you a good idea of the sort of nonsense we peddle week in, week out. Wooden spoons at the ready? Dig in.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @podnose
Worst Foot Forward is part of Podnose: www.podnose.com
Ep 56: Laura Lexx - World's Worst Tea
Anyone for tea? Following on from speaking to the quintessential British rapper last week we cover the most classic of all British topics this week: tea.
Joined by award-winning comedian and host of the CineMastermind podcast Laura Lexx we settle a debate that goes all the way back to the very first cuppa that was stewed a little too long and severely displeased a Chinese emperor. As well as getting very annoyed at Fortnum and Mason for the most expensively pretentious teabag on the planet we reveal tales of daring disguise by swashbuckling colonialists, the hitherto little known practice of tea duelling and the astonishing number of different digestive systems posh people like to have their tea leaves past through before they actually drink the stuff.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @lauralexx @podnose
Ep 55: Professor Elemental - World's Worst Hip-Hop Album
Pull up a turntable and join us as we cut through the hardy thickets of undergrowth that make up the choices of the world's worst hip-hop album. Joined by the indomitable Professor Elemental - the finest exponent of chap-hop and owner of the world's only monkey butler - we listen to music so asinine, offensive, badly produced and inappropriate that it should be banned by the Geneva Convention. All so you don't have to. On the way we discover the tragi-comic tale of Vanilla Ice, the potty-mouth Little Yachty and why hip-hop stars should never visit Stoke.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @Prof_Elemental
Ep 54: Will Seaward - World's Worst Pirate
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of Cointreau, it’s time for these salty seadogs to tell ye a tale! Gather ye round as Cap’n Will Seaward, comedian and storyteller of yore, is piped aboard the good ship Worst Foot Forward by Cabin Boy Van der Velde and Able Seaman McStay. Avast and away, they set sail in search of treasure, namely the World’s Worst Pirates. But beware! For there be many dragons along the way, including a pirate monk, a man who it is said ate his enemies hearts and even the man who is the reason we wannabe pirates do be talkin’ like this. Take comfort in stories of pirate gayness, hat-bandits and the origin of the word barbecue. AAAARRRRGGGHHH!
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @WillSeaward
Ep 53: Andrew Doyle - World's Worst Sequel
This week's episode sees us paint with broad brushstrokes as we discuss the world's worst sequel, along with our guest - comedian, writer and Jonathan Pie co-creator - Andrew Doyle. If you've ever loved something and been crushingly disappointed by the follow-up (parents with two offspring will know that feeling) you'll love this episode. We discuss every possible type of sequel: from books to films to popes to wars, political parties, musicals and more.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @andrewdoyle_com
Ep 52: Iszi Lawrence - World's Worst Poet
Merry new year to one and all! For our first episode of 2018 we've donned berets, waxed our beards and grabbed the nearest set of tom-toms to share stories of the worst poets in history. Naturally, the king of bad poetry William McGonagall is heavily featured, but we also meet a the Canadian James McIntyre who was quite unreasonably obsessed with cheese and Theophilus Marzials, a man who heard about onomatopoeia once and clearly thought it was the only thing that ever mattered in poetry.
We are joined by the erudite Iszi Lawrence - host of the tremendous Z List Dead List podcast and owner of her own tame poet, the marvellous Mr A F Harold.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @Iszi_Lawrence
Ep 51: Allan Scott Douglas - World's Worst Santa
Ho ho ho - but enough naming our garden implements, it’s time for the Worst Foot Forward Christmas Special! Santa himself joins us on the show - or at least, his official body-double does. Yes, actor and professional Father Christmas Allan Scott-Douglas is our guest to tell us wintry tales of the World’s Worst Santa. Allan relates some true tales from backstage at the grotto, Barry takes us through the history of the real Saint Nick and his various hideous European mutations, and Ben introduces us to a goat in sexy red hot pants.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @AlScottDouglas
Ep 50: Sam Lebens - World's Worst Messiah
It's our fiftieth episode, our golden anniversary and to celebrate, Ben and Barry have got a real rabbi to bless their union. Sam Lebens joins the boys to pray for the coming of the World's Worst Messiah. Barry puts his Jesuit education to good use with stories of Micronesian 'cargo cults', Ben gets down and dirty amidst some Reformation orgies and Sam brings an academic eye to the question 'what makes a good Messiah anyway?'. Tune in for fake Moseses, cannonball catching and sexually-transmitted Antichrists.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde
Ep 49: Thom Tuck - World's Worst Greatest Hits Album
Join us for a rummage through the bargain basement with actor, sketch performer and 21st century PG Wodehouse character Thom Tuck as we cast our eyes over the world of music to find the Worst Best Of... albums in history. We nerd out over album sequencing, confess to ropey teenage purchases and uncover a particularly grim Elvis cash-in.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @TurlyGod
Ep 48: Masud Milas - World's Worst Blaxploitation Movie
*Cue outrageously funky wah-wah pedal and slick hi-hat action*
Flick up the collars of your trenchcoat, coiffure your Afro to perfection and get ready to lay some righteous Smackdown on Whitey and the establishment as we join comedian and radio host Masud Milas on a journey into the world of Blaxploitation films. As ever on our search for the worst of all time, we come across all sorts of horrifying wonders, including gay B-Movie Blaxploitation aliens from Mars, Dutch Angles, spitting on graves, pimps and whores galore and Melvin Van Peebles penis.
PART 1 [00:00]
PART 2 [05:23]
What Masud is Worst at in the world
PART 3 [07:55]
Background to Blaxploitation movies
African-American Folk Heroes in Literature
Gay N****** From Outer Space
PART 4 [31:28]
The Black Gestapo
PART 5 [46:28]
Dolomite/Rudy Ray Moore
Sweet Sweetback's Badasssss Song
PART 6 [1:05:06}
World's Worst News
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @MasudMilas
Ep 47: Samantha Baines - World's Worst Space Invention
3 - 2 - 1 - LIFT OFF! Whoops, the rocket fell over. Yes, having previously discussed astronauts, we're blasting off to space again in search of the World's Worst Space Invention. Award-winning comedian and actress Samantha Baines (The Crown, Call The Midwife) joins us to share her love of Cox and her insights into sex in space. Meanwhile, Ben pops the hood and looks at the inner workings of the Death Star and Barry talks about THAT pencil story and the terrifying experience of living on Mir.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @samanthabaines
Ep 46: Richard Maxted - World's Worst Cocktail
Ben and Barry are often likened to cocktails - one is a high-baller with a twist and the other is a fruity virgin. So it was only natural that they would seek out the very worst of that particular type of tipple, with a little help from Richard Maxted, mixologist and proprietor of bespoke cocktail purveyors Mix & Muddle. We ask the question 'Who is Tom Collins?', learn the dirty secrets of the dirty martini and marvel at humankind's ingenuity for drinking literally ANYTHING when push comes to shove.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @MixMuddle
Ep 45: Ethan Lawrence - World's Worst Monarch
This is one of those episodes we've been looking forward to since the beginning of the podcast. Alongside actor, fellow history nerd and WFF fan Ethan Lawrence we go on a merry journey from China to Egypt, 13th century Bulgaria to 18th century France and finally to frontiersville San Francisco in front of the maddest, baddest, stupidest and occasionally most haplessly charming monarchs. Contained within are stories of men sown into bearskins and chased by wolves, cabbage kings, cannons used as alarm clocks and far too much nonsense about bagpipes.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @EthanDLawrence
Ep 44: Ria Lina - World's Worst Legal Defence
Order in court for this week's episode as we tackle the thorny issues of terrible legal defences. With us is one of our most qualified and talented guests - an expert in forensics, criminology and how to get away with anything, plus a mean performer on the stand-up and cabaret circuit: it's Ria Lina.
With Ria's assistance Ben and Barry work out the best way to murder each other and then head onwards to the gnarly thickets of ridiculous legal behaviour. This mega-episode covers a huge amount including trial by combat (and ordeal and poisoned chicken skin) in medieval Europe and 19th century Madagascar, Al Capone's misdeeds in and out of the bedroom and the least plausible heart attack in history.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @ettieBoo
Ep 43: Archie Maddocks - World's Worst Playwright
Curtain up! This week's guest is Archie Maddocks, a stand-up comedian as well as a multi-nominated playwright - his work has been shortlisted for both the highly prestigious Bruntwood Prize and Alfred Fagon Award in 2017. We train both barrels on word-wranglers and script-screwer-uppers as we take on some of the World's Worst Playwrights. Ben gets personal, Barry talks unstageable stage directions and Archie takes down no less than a Nobel Prize winner.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @ArchieMaddocks
Ep 42: Lolo Brow - World's Worst Burlesque
We laid out the green carpet and welcoming the Lizard Queen of British Burlesque Lolo Brow to dish the dirt on the worst burlesque of all time. She's a woman who takes her job very seriously and reveals the challenges, skills, secrets and invention behind becoming a top class performer. Don't worry though, we've also got our usual helping of disaster, including a watery New Orleans show that shocked audiences in the 1940s, the story of the first ever striptease, some truly astonishing chastity pants and all the questions you ever wanted to ask about an elephant's trunk but were too afraid to ask.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @lolobrow
Ep 41: Morgan & West - World's Worst Magic Trick
Izzy wizzy, let’s get busy with a whole heap of magic and mystery. Ben and Barry are joined by Morgan & West, Time Travelling Magicians, who saw us in half, catch our bullets and pull rabbits from our nether regions in search of the World’s Worst Magic Trick. Among the weird and wonderful sights we behold are an Ancient Egyptian who could separate a goose from its head, a wartime prestidigitator of dubious repute and a whole London cab-full of doves.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @MorganandWest @morganmagic @westmagic
Ep 40: Amelia Womack - World's Worst Environmentalist
As the storm clouds of climate change begin to whirl around us we thought it was time we talked to an expert who could help us point the finger at the worst environmentalists of all time. We uncovered hapless inventors, murderers with good(ish) intentions and extremely poor doings involving anyone called Nigel. Our guest and guide through these choppy waters is Amelia Womack, the Deputy Leader of the UK Green Party.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @Amelia_Womack
Ep 39: Ben Mepsted - World's Worst Striker
Goooooooaaaaaalllllllll! For those of you expecting a podcast about the world’s worst takers of industrial action - sorry, this one is about football strikers. Joining us is the host of The Football Question podcast, Ben Mepsted, to help us find some of the most backwards forwards ever (and indeed, never) to find the net. As always there are some fun facts - what man has played international football in four decades, why Fabrizio Ravanelli makes an excellent masturbation aid, and what IS the best anagram of David Ginola? And there are some genuinely crazy stories including the tale of George Weah’s "cousin", the best Brazilian never to play football and one man’s mission to destroy Micronesia.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @Mepstedb
Ep 38: Richard Soames - World's Worst Word
Get some ice cool ear muffs ready for this episode as your ears are going to be burning by the end of it! Barry and Ben interview sketch comedy's Mr.Nice Guy Richard Soames about the worst word human beings have ever spoken. It should go without saying that we really give the explicit rating a good working over on this one as we explore all the best curse words in English, Russian, German, Icelandic and Italian. Don't worry though, it's not all profanity - we also take up arms against the worst neologisms of the 21st century, suggest a future for Conor McGregor in the theatre and uncover a shocking truth about the end of World War 2.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @RichardSoames
Ep 37b: World's Worst Holding Episode
We're taking a week off to enjoy a cheeky autumnal holiday. In the meantime, fill your ears with some of the best clips that didn't quite make the final edits of some of our favourite show. Feat. Bec Hill, Tiernan Douieb, Lynn Ruth Miller, Jim Smallman and Sarah Bennetto.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @bechillcomedian @tiernandouieb @lynnruthmiller @jimsmallman @sarahbennetto
Ep 37: John Henry Falle - World's Worst Mythical Beast
Grab your net, trident and extra-thick gloves and join us on a monster hunt! Ben and Barry are joined by Edinburgh Comedy Award Nominee John Henry Falle aka The Storybeast as they delve deep into the cryptozoological annals of the past in search of the world's worst mythical beast. This episode spans the globe, from grubby little Japanese goblins to the US Air Force, via Greek mythology's biggest jock and the seventh circle of hell. Enjoy listening but be careful dear listener, for inside: Here Be Monsters. Really, really shit monsters.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @thestorybeast
Ep 36: Simon Feilder - World's Worst Gadget
Go go gadget! X-Ray Spex on, hoverboards charged up and telescopic body-parts at full mast as we construct some of the world’s worst gadgets! Comedian, improviser and former Big Breakfast weatherman Simon Feilder is here to rummage through our garages and attics to find some of the most useless inventions ever. Amidst our tinkering, we create vicious self-defence devices, unprotectable patents and Edwardian Spotify, with appearances from The Prodigal Son, fake leeches and - of course - the fidget spinner.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @simonfeilder
Ep 35: Tom Crowley - World's Worst Remake
What, this old guff again? Yes but not as you know it, because Worst Foot Forward gets a reboot as we talk about the World’s Worst Remakes. Writer, performer, producer and director Tom Crowley helps us trawl through the sludge and slush in the sewer of humanity’s knock-offs and rip-offs. Barry - in a slightly feverish state - takes us sightseeing around terrible replicas of landmarks, Tom gives an in-depth analysis of a horror movie that undoes all the good work of its originator, and Ben trains both barrels on backstory-heavy computer games. This episode features ‘bridge Viagra’, Owen Wilson accents, and a stupidly lengthy discussion on the sex appeal of Pac-Man.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @crowleeey
Ep 34: Edd Kimber - World's Worst Baker
Roll us out, cover us in flour and watch us rise, it’s a very tasty episode this week all about the World’s Worst Baker. And who better than AN ACTUAL GREAT BRITISH BAKE-OFF WINNER to help us decide on the soggiest bottoms in history. Yes, GBBO series 1 winner Edd Kimber aka The Boy Who Bakes is on hand to knead, prove and knock out as we discuss tacky wedding cakes, psychedelic bread, poisoning Nazis and the man who started the Great Fire of London but blamed anyone else he could find.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @TheBoyWhoBakes
Ep 33: Keir Shiels - World's Worst Doctor
The doctor will see you now, but say ‘AAAAAAAHHHHH’ because he’s accompanied by two idiots. Yes, actual real-life NHS registrar Doctor Keir Shiels is on call with Ben and Barry scrubbing up beside him as we discuss the World’s Worst Doctors. There are quacks and charlatans, cure-alls and elixirs, and tales of blowjobs on prescription, why the Hippocratic Oath is mostly bollocks and why goat balls may be just what you need to spice up your love life.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @keirshiels
Ep 32: Tobi Wilson - World's Worst TV Cartoon
Well knock us down with a steamroller, drop an anvil on us and throw us off a cliff because this week we're getting very animated in the company of Tobi Wilson. As a writer on the BAFTA-winning series 'The Amazing World of Gumball', Tobi talks us through some lesser lights of his chosen field as we peruse the World's Worst TV Cartoons. We reminisce about the Golden Age of Animation when such shows as Animaniacs, Freakazoid and...um...Street Sharks ruled the airwaves. Along the way, there are cartoon real-life boxers, money-trapping cash-ins and a whole Bible-load of superheroes. That's all folks!
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @tobiwilson56
Ep 31: Sindhu Vee - World's Worst Wife
This week we're joined by tremendous rising star of the comedy circuit Sindhu Vee. Together we delve into the world of ancient history, hillbilly America, Hollywood and the deepest depths of the ocean to find the world's worst wife. There are tales of record-breaking matrimony, cannibalism, 12 hours near-fatal sex sessions and skiing mishaps.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @sindhuvfunny
Ep 30: Bisha K Ali - World's Worst Horror Movie
Woooooooo! WOOOOOOOOO! Look out behind you, because creeping up slowly in ghostly and macabre form is this week's episode about the worst horror movies ever projected on the silver screen. We're joined by writer and comedian Bisha K Ali for a blood/treacle-with-food-colouring-soaked journey through the world of F-movies, possessed lawnmowers and a former Star Trek officer dressed as a crow. Be afraid, be very afraid...
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @bishakali
Ep 29: Eric Lampaert - World's Worst Alien
The truth is out there… Playing Mulder to Worst Foot Forward’s Scully is comedian, actor and improviser Eric Lampaert. Eric is shortly appearing in Luc Besson’s new sci-fi epic ‘Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets’ - making him the ideal person to chase down UFOs with Ben and Barry as they seek out the World’s Worst Aliens. We visit famous UFO sites like Roswell and Phoenix, abduct chess-loving oligarchs in Russia, cull camels from helicopters in Australia and try to figure out exactly how many billions of advanced civilisations there are in the universe. Spoiler alert: there’s lots. Probably.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @EricLampaert
Ep 28: Jonny and the Baptists - World's Worst Musical Duo
This week we hit the high note harmonies that crack glass and friendship as we uncover the very worst musical duos of all time. We're joined by one of the very best comedy musical duos - the charming, brilliant and award-winning political comics Jonny Donahue and Paddy Gervers aka Jonny and the Baptists. It's one hell of a journey as we discover sad tales of fraud, scatological Mexican metal bands and the imaginary bands that live in Paddy's head.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @Jonny_Baptists @podshambles
Ep 27: Dana Alexander - Worlds Worst Driver
Rev your engine, pop the clutch and do your very best not to stall on the start line as you help us uncover the worst drivers of all time with ace Canadian comic Dana Alexander. On the journey we meet hapless Formula 1 drivers, ancient Roman charioteers, racist bus drivers and uncover the secret tricks of Jamaican slave rebellions.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @Comediandana
Ep 26: Kiri Pritchard-McLean - World's Worst Serial Killer
Blood! Guts! Carnage! Trivia! Worst Foot Forward is a veritable crime scene this week as we investigate the World’s Worst Serial Killer. We’ve got a crack team on the case led by our guest, comedian Kiri Pritchard-McLean of gory sketch group Gein’s Family Gift Shop, and host of her own serial killer podcast ’All Killa No Filla’. Among our prime suspects this week are a man who designed his ideal murder palace, a murderer whose secret weapon is a canal system and a serial killer that wasn’t a serial killer at all. Plus there's the Yorkshire Ripper's bollocks, the world's most narcissistic murderer and the mysterious murder of West End star Elaine Paige...
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @kiripritchardmc @killnofillpod
Ep 25: Christian Talbot - World's Worst Screen Actor
We settle a debate for the ages this week and line-up a selection of silver screen heavyweights (plus a few bantams) as we debate the worst screen actor of all time. Joined by the excellent comic Christian Talbot we talk about character actors without character, comedians who should've stuck to their day job, why Young Darth Vader would've been a better prequel than the ones George Lucas gave us and what its like to be let down by your heroes time after time. Lights, camera, action...cut! Do it again...
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @TheTall_Bot @firsttimepod
Ep 24: Nat Luurtsema - World's Worst Lodgings
They say there’s no place like home - and in the case of the homes we discuss this week, THANK GOD! We delve into the World’s Worst Lodgings with our guest: no less than a BAFTA nominated screenwriter, stand-up, sketch comedian, actor, author - the multi-talented and multi-vowel-possessing Nat Luurtsema. Nat helps us face up to some home truths as we wade through the murky depths of our former university dwellings. We go exploring a poisonous granny-flat, Ben’s Edinburgh Festival digs, Barry’s showery sex life, Megan Fox’s menagerie and a few horrible hermitages.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @natluurtsema
Ep 23: Fiona Sagar - World's Worst Cook
We are serving up a real feast for the ears as this week’s podcast is about the World’s Worst Cook and it is brimful of recipes for disaster - and yes, that very obvious pun DOES feature in this episode! Our guest is character comedian and improviser Fiona Sagar whose love of food and fine dining leads us into some less-than-salubrious eateries. On the menu are disastrous curries, the heart of a saint, chicken with ball bearings and a flood of molasses, all presented by celebrity chefs from Typhoid Mary to Paul Hollywood. So tuck in - if you dare.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @FiSagar
Ep 22: Ivo Graham - World's Worst Kids Movie
We're wearing our finest primary colour dungarees and are full of all the E-numbers as we get ready to indulge ourselves with the worst Kids Movies of all time. Joined by Mock the Week panellist and silken-voiced star of Live at the Apollo Ivo Graham, we uncover some timeless stinkers. If you want to find out about the one movie Whoopi Goldberg regrets, one of many which, sadly, Robin Williams seems not to and the classic Sidney Poitier's Ghost Dad, give this episode a listen.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @IvoGraham
Ep 21: Bryan Lacey - World's Worst MMA Fighter
Join us this week in the sweat-soaked, blood-stained Octagon as we done our fighting gloves, pop in our gum shields and tap out in under 10 seconds to a girl guide from Aberystwyth Primary School. It's time to find out who the worst mixed martial arts fighter of all time is. The UFC franchise may only have been running since 1993, but this episode heads all the way back to Ancient Greece, from there taking in sumo wrestling mismatches, heartbreaking underdog stories and discovers which Street Fighter character would win in real life! Seconds out...let's get it on!
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @BryanLaceyMMA
Ep 20: Amelia Singer - World's Worst Wine
POP! Smell our cork, relish our bouquet and admire our legs because it’s a VERY good year for a podcast about the World’s Worst Wine. We’ve got a guest with a very fine nose to help us find it: wine expert, consultant, educator and host of ITV’s ‘The Wine Show’ Amelia Singer. Ben and Barry knock back a few choice bottles of grog including the leavings of monks, a mouldering ancient Roman concoction and some delicacies involving not one, not two, but THREE penises, while Amelia practically challenges a blue nun to a fight. It’s a vintage episode - but remember, please enjoy Worst Foot Forward responsibly.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @amelias_wine
Ep 19: Simon Watt - World's Worst Parasite
An episode for smart minds and stern stomachs as we uncover Mother Nature’s dark side. We’re joined by professional science communicator, squid dissector and founder of the Ugly Animal Preservation Society, Simon Watt, to talk about the world’s worst parasites. There’s an entire Hammer house of horrors on display, including flies that bewitch cockroaches, cookie cutter sharks and the worst fate ever to befall the Tasmanian Devil since Bugs Bunny got mean. Strengthen your constitution, don’t eat for a while before listening and dive in where even nematode worms fear to tread…
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @SimonDWatt @LevelUpHuman @UglyAnimal
Ep 18: Brydie Lee-Kennedy - World's Worst Teen Movie
This week Worst Foot Forward sidles up to you at a school dance, drinks deeply from the red cup of awkwardness and asks you, the intriguing new kid, to dance before spilling Kool-Aid all over you and slipping over onto our arses in front of all the jocks from the football team.
“Tell me more, tell me more” you sing, for some reason.
Yes, we are looking at the World’s Worst Teen Movies in the company of performer, writer and podcaster Brydie Lee-Kennedy. We examine age discrepancies in Grease, the redemptive power of porn, Elvis starting fights in strip clubs and Sisqo’s Shakespearean roots.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @BrydieLK
Ep 17: Paul Sweeney - World's Worst Haircut
Things are getting hairy this week as comedian and barber Paul Sweeney joins us to style out some of the world’s worst haircuts. No amount of dye-jobs, comb-overs and toupées will hide the shameful secrets of our candidates as we take our scissors of silliness to the mullet, learn about the correlations between drug and hair trends, and explore the racist undertones of Duck Tales - WOOHOO! And amidst all of this, there’s a lot of John Candy for some reason.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @SweenCutsComedy
Ep 16: Jim Campbell - World's Worst Conspiracy Theory
Pop your collar up high, make sure no one's tailing you and join us in the WFF basement, huddled around our oil can fire as we share some of the darkest and stupidest secrets of history. Find out who stole Shergar, why the US invasion of Iraq was so much more impressive, how rocks have been pulling the wool over our eyes for millennia and how Danny Dyer is at the centre of every web of intrigue.
We're joined by award-winning comedian and podcaster, 1/4 of the mighty Footbal Ramble team, Jim Campbell. Or are we...?
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @JimCampbellTFR
Ep 15: Lynn Ruth Miller - World's Worst First Date
This week Ben and Barry are charmed, beguiled, tickled and shocked by the wonderful Lynn Ruth Miller. Lynn popped into the hearts of the nation when she appeared on First Dates on Channel 4, at the age of 84, so we just had to get her on and find out about her worst dating experiences. On the way we find out about her life as the oldest working stand-up on the planet, why a bagel is simply never enough to impress her and a story of a date with a sailor that literally almost blew up in her face. There's also the usual supporting cast of US presidents, cocksure Greek suitors and Spartacus himself.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @lynnruth
Ep 14: Thomas Hescott - World's Worst TV Comedy
This episode is all about the funny - or not - as we settle down on the sofa, can our laughter and have our ribs tickled by the World’s Worst TV Comedies. Our guest is television and theatre director Thomas Hescott who was just this week named on BBC’s New Talent Hotlist 2017 for his work directing for TV. Tom brings us a real rare gem of a candidate from the archives of television purgatory. We also go for a drive in a talking car, discuss Spike Milligan’s lesser work and blast a Yorkshirewoman into space.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @MrThomasHescott
Ep 13: Jim Smallman - World's Worst Wrestler
Can you smeeeeeeeell what the Foot is cooking?!?!
Join as we jump off the top rope, only to land awkwardly and give ourselves a hernia as we chat to comedian, idiot, relentless storyteller and top hole wrestling promoter Jim Smallman about the worst wrestlers of all time. As you might have noticed, this is our longest episode by far - once we opened up this Pandora's box it was impossible to stop exploring. In this episode you'll find stories about T-Rexes invading hospitals, far from holy conceptions and the staggeringly broad boundaries of taste that professional wrestlers are power-slammed over in the name of sports entertainment.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @jimsmallman @ThisIs_Progress
Ep 12: Sarah Bennetto - World's Worst Fairy Tale
Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin...
Ben and Barry love a good yarn spun well and they're in excellent company this week as they're joined by chipper Aussie comedian and head honcho of the acclaimed Storyteller's Club, Sarah Bennetto. Together they wonder through literary history to uncover the worst fairy tale ever told. On their way they tip their hats to the Brother's Grimm, discover which company gave Goldilocks a sponsorship deal and find out the Big Bad Wolf's dark secret. #NotAllWolves
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @sarahbennetto @StoryCLB
Ep 11: Paul Flannery - World's Worst Board Game
Here at Worst Foot Forward we love a board game so it's about time we explored those games that are all snakes and no ladders. Rolling the dice with us is Paul Flannery, actor, comedian, and creator and host of the exceptionally geeky stage shows ‘Knightmare Live’ (http://knightmarelive.com/) and ‘The MMORPG Show’. Taking turns on the World's Worst Board Games, we land on such notable squares as memorable breasts, the bathhouses of Monopoly, and the Swedish Parliament in 2012.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @piratemoustache
Ep 10: James Rowland - World's Worst General
Charge! This week Worst Foot Forward goes to war in search of the World’s Worst General. Privates Ben and Barry are led into battle by their charismatic mastermind of a guest, actor and storyteller James Rowland. Having very much brought our sporks to a gunfight, we find ourselves huddled in a foxhole alongside such decorated heroes as the navy who lost to a cavalry charge, the geometric shapes of Nuremberg and history’s most hilarious and megalomaniacal sitcom pairing.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @jdsrowland
Ep 9: Stuart Goldsmith - World's Worst Heist Movie
Today’s guest is Stuart Goldsmith, host of the excellent Comedian’s Comedian Podcast (http://www.comedianscomedian.com). Stuart, with henchmen Barry and Ben, is masterminding a raid on the highly pregnable vault containing the World’s Worst Heist Movies. Within it, among the countless films called simply ‘The Heist’, we find the Nagasaki atom bomb, Mark Ruffalo’s smug acting and a regenerating Ice-T.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @ComComPod
Ep 8: Gemma Arrowsmith - World's Worst Astronaut
This week Worst Foot Forward goes intergalactic! Our stellar guest, comedian and writer Gemma Arrowsmith (http://gemmaarrowsmith.com), is a lover of all things space and so she helps Ben and Barry discuss the world's worst astronaut. We thumb through the books of space law, eat corned beef in a rocket ship and see just how many cute, furry creatures we can launch into the stratosphere in 45 minutes.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @mmaarrow
Ep 7: Nathan Caton - World's Worst Architect
Our guest this week, Nathan Caton (http://www.nathancaton.com) studied architecture before his diversion into comedy. In his company, we are rifling through blurry blueprints, sketching wonky towers and clipping the wings from flying buttresses in search of the world’s worst architect. Among the burning rubble, we discover prostitute-shaped brothels, the infamous Bond villain Goldprick and a Dutch firm which specialise in tasteless post-disaster tribute buildings.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @benvandervelde @bazmcstay @NathanCaton
Ep 6: Angela Barnes - World's Worst British Day Out
Winter is almost gone and a refreshing spring breeze sweeps through Worst Foot Forward in the shape of Angela Barnes (host of BBC Radio 4’s Newsjack). The better weather means the return of the Great British Day Out - so here we dive into some not-so-great ones. Angela reveals her deep-lying love for subterranean bunkers while our battered old tour bus takes us on a journey around Mr Blobby’s ancestral home, 10,000 teapots and 19th century temperance meetings.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @benvandervelde @bazmcstay @AngelaBarnes
Ep 5: Tiernan Douieb - World's Worst Political Protest
Episode five lands in a week where major protests are shaking the world in support of women's rights and refugees. So comedian and podcaster Tiernan Douieb joins us to look at some of the less effective and affecting protests that the world has ever witnessed - many of them from our new favourite nemesis, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. There are also bucketloads of red milky vomit, elephants being sucked into Pokéballs - and mink. A whole lot of mink. This podcast is essentially 85% mink. Enjoy.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @benvandervelde @bazmcstay @tiernandouieb
Ep 4: Ellie Gibson - World's Worst Console Game
It's episode four and our guest is Ellie Gibson - comedian, co-host of Dara Ó’Briain’s Go 8-Bit, one half of the Scummy Mummies (http://www.scummymummies.com) and video games journalist. With Ellie's help, we're rampaging through various levels of awfulness in search of the Big Boss of terrible console games. The show features a cameo from the Swedish Mafia, Atari’s attempts to bury its demons and magicians Penn and Teller making vast swathes of your life disappear.
Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Stitcher etc, and do rate, comment, recommend to friends and spread the word.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @benvandervelde @bazmcstay @elliegibson
Ep 3: Jay Foreman - World's Worst Beatles Song
In episode three, we are joined by musical comedian Jay Foreman to unpick the back catalogue of the world's greatest band in the hunt for the World's Worst Beatles Song. Ben and Jay’s exhaustive knowledge sees Barry trying desperately to hold his own while we explore mass murder as a subject for pop songs, Ringo’s song-writing process and John & Yoko’s tantric music - with a shout-out for Donovan’s rhyming dictionary.
DISCLAIMER: WE ALL REALLY LIKE THE BEATLES, HONEST!
Follow us: @benvandervelde @bazmcstay @jayforeman
Ep 2: Bec Hill - World's Worst Superhero
For our second episode we don our flapping red capes, lower masks over our eyes and pop our underpants proudly over our trousers as we delve into the heyday of comic books to uncover the most terrible, pointless and ineffective superheroes of all-time. There's a huge supporting cast of superheroes who really should have been left on the shelf, whilst Bec provides her own entirely new pantheon of heroes.
Follow us: @benvandervelde @bazmcstay @bechillcomedian
Ep 1: Sophie Scott - World's Worst Psychological Treatment
Kicking off our first episode we chat to Professor Sophie Scott, an expert in neuroscience and the way that laughter works in the brain. Our subject matter is not as light and fluffy, as we explore the worst psychological treatments of all time, taking us on a journey from Bristol's most infamous asylum to Ancient Greece, stopping off on the way to stare at some dangerous looking Arctic shamans brandishing hacksaws.
Follow us: @benvandervelde @bazmcstay @sophiescott
WFF Teaser Trailer ft. Bec Hill
A taste of what's to come on Worst Foot Forward, a new podcast about the world's worst things and life's biggest losers. Hosted by two of them, Barry McStay and Ben Van der Velde. First episodes coming January 2017.