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The Absurd Podcast  RSS Feed  Subscribe Via iTunes  Zune Subscribe
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Category: Comedy
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Description:

The Absurd Podcast is hosted by writer and comedian Sir Chase Hooper. He discusses the tough issues like which celebrities look like rodents and whose farts smell like vegetables.

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Podcast Episode's:
DJ Khaled Would Rather Eat The Punisher
<p>Sir Chase opens this week with the harrowing tale of his failed family movie night. Then he dives into the thing DJ Khaled refuses to eat (what a butt munch). Next, he rants about weirdo pet owners and their feeble attempts to celebrate Mother’s Day. Finally, he discusses the idolization of The Punisher, the final So Cal Slayer show, and urban camping.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for more from Sir Chase.</p>
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Squeezing Out Farts in the Wild Animal Park
<p>Sir Chase rants about his daughter’s rabid behavior and the worst parking lot on Earth. Then he talks about a weird experience he had at jail, and why Once in the Lifetime by Talking Heads is officially a weird song. Finally, he discusses Kanye West, wealthy-ass welfare butt munchers, and scumbags who take up handicapped spots.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s writing.</p>
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Stuffed Crust Teachers
<p>On this week’s episode, I talk the dismantling of traditional manhood in America and how much it pisses me off. Then I discuss a teacher who was arrested for having sex with an adult and how much that confuses me, and I provide my thoughts on my daughter’s condescending tone while playing peek-a-boo. Finally, my blood boils over some human garbage I saw at the grocery store, stuffed crust pizza, and Facebook morons.</p> <p> </p> <p>If you enjoy the show, leave a review and tell a friend. If you don’t, go listen to paint dry or something.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for my writing.</p>
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David Hogg Looks Like Himmler’s Left Testicle
<p>Sir Chase talks about urinal splash and buying a new car. Then he shares his distaste for yogurt and rants about David Hogg and his stupid face. Finally, he discusses a frightening Eggo waffle commercial, the band Bobaflex, and his daughter’s attempt to drown her father in baby pee.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s writing.</p>
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50 Cent is a Sleepy Boy
<p>Sir Chase talks about annoying gas station experiences, and the latest winner of Compton’s Got Talent. Then he discusses some racially-charged remarks by 50 Cent, and he tries to understand why no one seems to think it’s a problem. Lastly, he rants about the audacity of idiotic men on the internet, the travesty that is The Hat’s cheese prices, and some more bull poop from the Catholic church. </p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s writing.</p>
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Gluten Free Jesus Tattoos
<p>Sir Chase gives an infuriating update on the recent school shooting in Florida and the cowardice of several people at scene. Then he talks about the state of his penis in this sudden Southern California winter weather and his hatred of heaters. Finally, he gets annoyed by young liberals, bad Jesus tattoos, and gluten free toothpaste. </p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s writing and such.</p>
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Toxic Masculinity and Shotgun Poops
<p>Sir Chase discusses the recent school shooting in Florida and the willingness of many Americans to be victims these days. Marilyn Manson is his next topic as he dishes on some harassment claims that have come out against the legendary rocker (and how stupid they are). Then he talks about a disgusting baby experience he recently had, and a weird bathroom encounter at a Mexican restaurant. Finally, he discusses support animals, supposed toxic masculinity, and grown ass men listening to Limp Bizkit.</p> <p>If you like the show, leave a review and tell a friend.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a></p>
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The Master Scheme of Cock Block Children
<p>Sir Chase discusses his department trying to catch him dirty by utilizing a weird fat Korean man. Then he talks about the shithole that is 29 Palms and the tragic sex lives of new parents (complete with cock block daughters). He gives his two (or more) cents on the anti-military rant of a Southern California teacher, and ponders a yoga breastfeeding video that he found on Facebook. Finally, he wonders what you’re supposed to call African American people in England.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s writing and merchandise.</p>
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Disneyland is Full of Yoshinoya Foreskin Bowls
<p>On this week’s episode, Sir Chase talks about his daughter’s first trip to Disneyland, annoying foreigners, and “in the way” people. Then he discusses “comedian” Monique’s ridiculous claim against Netflix, and the dark secrets of Yoshinoya. Finally, he discusses shithole places, hilarious vigilantism, and the prosecution of Nergal of the band Behemoth.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s merchandise.</p>
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Doc McStuffins is a Quack
<p>It’s the first episode of 2018! Sir Chase discusses the dismal outlook of millenials who say that 2017 sucked. He follows this onslaught of positivity by talking about his expertise in stepping in shit on a regular basis, as well as a perfectly wiener-level mirror in the movie theater bathroom. Finally, he discloses his theories on why Doc McStuffins is not a real doctor and how the world of Mickey Mouse is a sinister place.</p> <p>Check out his books and writings at <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a></p>
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Space X Launches a Turd and Issa Classic
<p>Sir Chase is back, and his daughter is pooping on his lap. He talks the recent launch by Space X and the brief moments chaos that ensued as everyone tried to figure out how long it would be before people’s butts started getting diddled. Then he discusses his hatred for Downtown Los Angeles and the rivalry between him and ice dispensers. He reflects briefly on the passing of Warrel Dane, and embarrasses his daughter by discussing her nasty feet. Finally, he finishes by ranting about purposefully uneducated people, a stupid BMW, and AMPM.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s silly writing.</p>
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Phil Collins is Ghosting my Heart
<p>Sir Chase talks about the recent fires in Southern California and working twenty-five hours straight in a pair of silly goggles. Then he discusses his daughter’s unhealthy obsession with tags and her need to put weird things in her mouth. He rants about the lack of humanity apparent in those who dislike Phil Collins, and the endlessly annoying nature of people who are offended by everything. Finally, he talks about “ghosting” and gives his five tips for sharing legitimate news stories on social media.</p> <p>Check out his writing on <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a></p>
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The Cowboys Ruin Thanksgiving
<p>Sir Chase sits down after a gluttonous Thanksgiving meal to talk about what the holiday means to him and the annoying guilt trips that social media clowns try to spread every holiday season. He talks about his dirty transient baby and her need to punch herself in the crotch, and he wallows in sadness over the Dallas Cowboys, who feel the need to ruin his life. Finally, he talks about a weird cold call he received, the latest pretend racism, and idiotic celebrations in the NFL.</p> <p>Leave a review and tell a friend.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s books, as well as a new blog about the lost fifth member of the Beatles.</p>
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Being Pee Shy Around Louis C.K.
<p>Tony Rey joins Sir Chase to talk about his recent trip to New York and jumping to conclusions about the best coffee in the city. Then they discuss the recent Hollywood sex scandal including Louis C.K. and Kevin Spacey, and the role that Sir Chase feels victims should play. Next, they talk people who can’t take a joke and a little mullet-wearing bastard that Sir Chase hates. Finally, they end the night by naming their favorite war movie characters of all time.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s silly books.</p> <p>Check out <a title="YouTube" href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkwaAkwCFeP3LNz7xHySQBw">YouTube</a> for Tony’s vlog and docs.</p>
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Dodgers Lose to Some Chicken Skin and a Katy Perry Boob
<p>On this episode, Sir Chase talks about returning to work and communicating with his baby by speaking strictly in raspberries and black metal screeches. Then he discusses Halloween and greedy little turd monkeys taking all of his candy. The Dodgers are the next topic as he discusses their loss in the World Series to the Houston Astros and the need to move on from the disappointment. Finally, he rants about double standards, protestors, and the most annoying white people shit he has ever seen.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for silly books. </p>
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Butchers are as Corrupt as Joe Rogan’s Fart Fog
<p>Sir Chase talks about his baby’s apparent hatred for his new tattoo and the one year anniversary of finding out that his wife was pregnant (Science, baby!). Then he talks about a moronic Vice article claiming that white people should not be allowed to wear hoop earrings and why grocery store butchers are the worst human beings on Earth. Finally, he discusses an apology from Joe Rogan and talks about five things you should never joke about.</p> <p>Leave a review and tell a friend.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s silly books.</p>
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Harvey Weinstein Poops Baby Dogs
<p>Sir Chase talks about his baby’s quirky behavior and her need to act like a turd in the morning. Then he talks about a deleted Facebook post from Antifa, and a solution he has for people who create unecessary traffic on the highway. Finally, he talks about that smelly wiener of a man Harvey Weinstein, the “Me Too” trend, and his hatred of vegan food.</p> <p>Leave a review and tell a friend.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s silly books.</p>
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The Magic School Bus is for Sick Freaks
<p>Sir Chase talks his baby’s vomit bukake face, human nature and the tragedy in Las Vegas, a weird racial Instagram experience he had, Knott’s Scary Farm, and the perils of watching The Magic School Bus.</p> <p>If you enjoy the show, leave a review and tell a friend.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s silly books.</p>
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Protesting the NFL and Hugh Hefner’s Dead Butthole
<p>Sir Chase talks about his recent trip to Lake Tahoe and peeing on himself. Then he talks the death of Hugh Hefner of Playboy, Michael Bennett, and the NFL debate. He finishes with some insight on how he’ll use his daughter’s butthole to embarrass her when she’s older. </p> <p>Leave a review and tell a friend.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchpublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> to see Sir Chase’s weird books.</p>
Listen: podcast - audio/x-m4a

What Happened at the Hillary Clinton Buffet
<p>Sir Chase talks Hillary Clinton’s incredible ability to be stupid, being annoyed at Walmart, and his daughter’s need to tweek his nipples.</p> <p>Check out <a title="Knight Watch Publishing" href="http://www.knightwatchublishing.com">Knight Watch Publishing</a> for Sir Chase’s silly books.</p>
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