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Tired of living life with your own thoughts, unable to share about how you feel about the world and its people. Good news.

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Podcast Episode's:
TotTP Episode 104 -Tilted Colon
    A full house in the Toe on the Trigger studio: Mike, C3K, and Niquole. It's C3K's birthday, and it is bittersweet for her. No one likes to get older, and some people just get downright depressed by it. They talk about shit techniques, and C3K's tilted colon. In Michigan, it has been made illegal to have buttsex and oral sex. How will they enforce this? After the break, they discuss the depravity of humanity. John from BrandX is getting all the credit for a bit that Daniel originally found, but whatever.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 103 – What Up, My Knitter
    On this week's show, Daniel, Mike and Courtney are back together after a few weeks off. They discuss all the celebrity rape allegations, as well as other topics to drive liberals crazy. Fat shaming, Black Lives Matter. The whole gambit!. After the break, the crew discusses prostitutes and Mexican strippers. And, Courtney brags about her vast knowledge about Mike. Finally, do you think Courtney can stay away from alcohol? Weigh in!   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 102 -There’s a Line, It’s Squiggly
    On this week's show, Daniel is joined in studio by Mike Morado and Courtney 3000. They discuss proper condolence card etiquette, sex doll rape, "muffing" trannies, Halloween beliefs; and finally whether Daniel and Mike are sociopaths.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 101 -I Don’t Do Acid . . . Unless it’s on Accident
    On this episode, Daniel drops some news about his life in the last six weeks. His new relationship, his night time bladder problems; run-ins with police . . . There is also talks of conspiracies and false flags. Mike is a drug addict, and other shenanigans. If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 100 - Daniel and Mike Go Pro
    On this 100th episode. we have a special returning guest. Courtney wraps up the Bum Wine Challenge, and there's a small exchange of pleasantries. Daniel announces a small break from the show. please remember to take the audience survey to make your opinion heard on the show. If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 099 -Braille Your Way Through Life
    This week Niquole is back with Daniel and Courtney3000. Courtney gets a fair bit tipsy on Wild Irish Rose. The discussion starts with a psycho girlfriend with way too many rules, and ends with a know-nothing male feminist writer who can't spell sex.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 098 – Three and a Halfsome
    This week Daniel is joined again by the lovely Courtney3000, and returning guest Trini-T. It's part two of the bum wine challenge, and this week the drink of choice is Cisco. It may be a little more infamous than advertised, but that may be because the girls shared it. But, it did make for some loopy conversation about drinking, three and a halfsomes, and some great relationship wisdom.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 097 – I Swallowed the Dead
    It has begun! The bum wine challenge. Part one of the challenge features the infamous Mad Dog 20/20. Courtney takes the challenge like a champ and manages to finish the whole bottle through the course of the episode. But, not before throwing Daniel under the bus and voicing her opinions on various topics.Tune in for the continuation of the challenge in weeks ahead.     If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 096 – The Other Side of the Microphone
    This week Daniel took over Everyone has a Podcast with host Adam. They discuss polarization in American politics and the division in the nation. Daniel schools Adam on San Diego living, and the hardships of hating young adults. Finally, they wrap up the show with some thoughts on the 2017 dating scene.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 095 – Suck Dick to Stay White
    Courtney3000 and Niquole join Daniel in studio. Niquole shares about her butt hungry doctor. They delve into their inner prejudices and ask whether or not they're racist; only to discover that Daniel may be the racist.   After the break, Courtney shares some of her feelings on being single, and Daniel turns into a Mopy Marvin about the direction of the show. If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 094 – The Dykiest Man I’ve Ever Seen
    Courtney3000 is back this week, and it is a new chapter for both Daniel and Courtney. Courtney is now single after a breakup with her boyfriend of 4 years, and she's handling it fairly well. Meanwhile, Daniel is embarking on a new career journey . . . . A voyage through the skies. Courtney has also been delving into new career paths. Some of which include, cuddling and nude modeling. One gig even entailed that she let the Dykiest Man she'd ever seen to lowkey fuck her. This segues into a story about a police officer who was fired because of her past as a dominatrix. Finally, we discuss whether or not telling women that drinking while pregnant is actually sexist. Don't forget to check out this show and other shows on Radio Vegas, Sunday nights at 6pm Pacific time. If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
Listen: podcast - audio/mpeg

TotTP Episode 093 – Princesses Need to Learn to Suck Too
    This week on Toe on the Trigger, Daniel is joined again by the lovely Niquole and new guest Trin-I-T.   They discuss whether or not you have to inform someone that you are transgender before you hook up with them. Is it a form of rape if you don't tell someone due to informed consent. The discussion turned to parental rights on the sexuality of their children.   The first half closes with a discussion on accepted norms in societies and how it's getting to be out of control. Pedophiles want rights to sexually identify and express their "sexual orientation"   After the break, then group brainstorms some ways that the show can support itself. Then, they finish the list from last week about the different types of fuck boy; and Niquole finds her Fuckboy.   Finally the show closes with a story about a Tinder date who just wouldn't leave.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
Listen: podcast - audio/mpeg

TotTP Episode 092 – Shit Blood and Cum
    This week, Daniel is joined again by Courtney3000 and brand new guest: Niquole. The trio discusses Niquole’s current relationship with past TotT veteran Eriq “Shaft” Johnson. Apparently, Eriq is an ass man, and Niquole being the wonderful girlfriend that she is, gave Eriq her ass for the first time. She goes into - probably too much - detail about how her first two experiences went.   Before the break, the crew discusses a topic written by a feminist taking the stance that people who sleep with prostitutes are rapists. She fails to take into account the fact that prostitution is a consensual agreement between two adults.   Back from the break, Daniel, Courtney and Niquole pick apart each other’s names and then talk again about how much hate Courtney has gotten in the past.   Fuckboy is a word that floats in the lexicon of American society. There isn’t really a set definition. But, what is a fuckboy, and what are the differences between the different types of fuckboys? There are many different types, and no one relates to any of them. Many conversations branch from this discussion. Ranging from feminism to defending whether or not Daniel is actually a fuckboy.   We got a call on the show from BRob again. He had some positive thoughts and pieces of advice. This advice included dropping “nigger from the show’s vocabulary. This idea spirals the show down a slightly racist rabbit hole.   To end the show, Courtney discusses some of her daddy issues that can be exploited just in case you guys were wondering.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
Listen: podcast - audio/mpeg

TotTP Episode 091 – Courtney, You Rascal
      After a small hiatus from the show, we learn that Daniel had an episode in the bag; but through a rookie mistake had deleted it. What he did manage to produce was decently prepared piece that Courtney had provided him.   Her phone number had previously belonged to an online escort, and she had been getting weird voicemails for quite some time. Of these voicemails were one from a man named Jerry. We decided to give Jerry a call.   Out of all the porn on the internet, fidget spinner porn is now a thing; but Daniel is sure that it's all just trolling.   Finally, the topic of the orgasm gap is revisited, and we learn why straight women are not having as many orgasms, and why "the golden trio" is very important.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 090 – Shit and Suicide
    Daniel is joined again by the Courtney3000, and the first order of business is about fan thoughts on Courtney. Love her or hate her; she isn’t going very far for very long. But, if you do want to tell her how you feel about her, feel free to call the hotline or email the show. She is open to all of your opinions.   The feminists are attacking again. This time the enemy is the beard. A hair stylist is dying her husband’s beard to reflect the colors of a unicorn. Of course, sometimes the pussy is so good; you just go along with whatever weird notions they suggest.   A new trend is taking over in Russia. Because the adolescent suicide rate is so high in Russia; an unknown group of people exploited this by creating a game that leads teens into a 50 day journey that eventually ends in their suicide. This topic leads down a suicidal rabbit hole about Daniel and Courtney’s view on suicide, and their experience with it. They also talk about death and how people react to it.   In the news, a Texas man attempts to sue a woman for texting the entire time on their date. Though the matter was settled outside of court, Daniel agrees that justice was served. Courtney thinks it was a bit excessive.   All of these dating conundrums could be avoided if people just engaged in Sologymy. Sologymy is a new trend creeping across the country in which women marry themselves to solidify their love for themselves. Think it’s a bit pathetic? Well, you’re right. And, of course capitalism came in to save the poor feminists by supplying an I Married Me kit containing a ring, vows, and affirmation cards.   Then, Courtney has to get dark and discuss the death of her mom and how dead parent jokes are fun, and you have to joke about the negative things in life to cope.   Somehow, the conversation turns from death and suicide to shitting. Daniel tells a fucked up story about enemas and constipation, and Courtney has 2 even more horrific stories where her body turned on her.   There is much love in the podcast community. Much of that love is bestowed upon TotT. The first case was a shoutout done by Adam from EHAP. He definitely rubbed Daniel’s cock about how good his memes are on Facebook. Daniel loved how appreciated he was for his meme lord skills. The second piece of love came from Kitty the Accidental Racist at Afterburn739. She told a cute little joke to make many SJWs go nuts. This then goes into a talk about systemic racism.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
Listen: podcast - audio/mpeg

TotTP Episode 089 -Is Herpes a Demon?
      Daniel is joined once again by the Courtney3000. The show starts off with a bad omen when Daniel has a problem with the local coffee machine. After airing their coffee grievances, the show begins.   Courtney's newest venture of selling panties has broadened her career path into making pornettes with her boyfriend. It will take her some time to get her vagina to look just right. Courtney decides to be good to the listeners. If you want some videos of the one and only Courtney3000, inquire by emailing takeashot@toeonthetrigger.com   There is a new term floating around the internet: Stealthing. Stealthing is the act of removing the condom without the consent of the partner. The debate is whether or not stealthing is a form of rape. There is definitely an aspect of rape there. Speaking of rape, Courtney has a definite rape fetish. Cinematic or real, Courtney loves the idea of rape.   Another trend that is touching the internet is combating online bullying. One service online is to "kill" a bully. What this entails is writing the name of the bully on a piece of paper and destroy that piece of paper to tarnish a person's name. Of course this is a retarded way to combat anything, let alone internet trolls.   Back from the break, our two friends talk about cock rings. Daniel had a friend who got a cock ring stuck on his dick. Daniel then busts out his "cock lasso" from his drawer of sex toys, which is dwindling. His toys have gone missing, and he's okay with that; 'cause he jerks off the old-fashioned way. No matter if it's at work, or in the car, Courtney agrees that she should probably cut back on her masturbation. It's becoming a problem.   The problem with the masturbation may be caused by the spirit realm. Of course the Christians have a theory about masturbation. Their theory: masturbation attracts demons into your life to cause you to masturbate more.   Through a series of random rabbit holes, Daniel and Courtney arrive at the topic of Star Wars. They give their opinions on Star Wars and other movies.   If you want to contact the show, you can do show by hitting the Take A Shot Button, or emailing takeashot@toeonthetrigger.com. Or, you can call the show at 863-546-8688. We got some emails and calls this weekend. One email came from a concerned citizen telling Daniel to leave girls alone. This was followed by a call from somebody telling him the same thing. Finally, two calls from a new listener, General Sid; who seems to be getting a blowjob or something.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
Listen: podcast - audio/mpeg

TotTP Episode 088 – Blowjob . . . No Rice, No Beans
    Daniel is joined by previous cohost, Courtney3000. Courtney discusses the reason why she left the show for so long, and Daniel tried to boost her morale to keep her coming back so that is job of finding cohosts can be minimized.   Right out of the gate, Daniel figures he'll stir the pot by sharing an article done by some feminist at Cosmopolitan arguing against ever giving blowjobs. Cosmopolitan writer Hannah Smothers does her best to convince Courtney how blowjobs are terrible, and that she should not only never do it again, but she should never want to do it again.   During all this, Daniel poses the famous question: What is a blowjob? Courtney starts with the theory of a blowjob just being the act of someone's dick. Daniel changes her mind in a couple short minutes. Through all of Ms. Smothers' terrible ideas, there are some that Courtney can agree with. Courtney also admits to letting her pussy get stanky during masturbation.   Back from the break, Daniel tries yet again to get Courtney to fuck him. She says no, yet again; and also shares how creepy Daniel is when he texts her out of the blue.   Courtney reveals her latest career venture. She is going to team up with her "business partner" to sell panties. The internet is filled with men who would pay for just about anything. This includes up to $200 for a pair of underwear worn by a lovely young woman, She may also venture into the world of camgirls.   Daniel decides it's been far too long since he's gotten in trouble because of the podcast. So, in order to restore balance, he decided to sgare his latest issue with Courtney. His latest crisis: a girl that he likes and who likes him gets mad at him for sleeping with another girl. Was Daniel in the wrong? Give your input.   The Toe on the Trigger hotline finally got a voicemail from a funny guy named Rob from "Random Ramblings with Rob". He questions the name of the show and rants about amputees.   The show closes out with Courtney sharing her pet peeve of ugly babies, talking about how ugly her friend was as a baby. They discuss functioning drug addicts, and then close out the show. If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 087 – Gareth’s Toe on the Trigger
    This week, Daniel flipped the roles and became the guest. He joined his friend's from down under: Gareth and Bex from Gareth's Random Ramblings. Right out of the gate, Daniel asks Bex the question he is dying to know: What is a blowjob? After some pussyfooting around terminology and modesty, Bex finally reveals what her idea of a blowjob is. We get a sneak peak into the more intimate aspects of Gareth and Bex's relationship. They talk about podcasting and speaking freely, as well as cultural differences between America and Australia or New Zealand (Let's admit, same thing). They go into different names for the Monte Crisco and different fair foods and deep fried foods. Daniel breaks down for the poor "Kiwis" the difference between foods by region. This leads to a nice piece of racism about Mexicans and black folk. Bex shares which words are appropriate and which aren't, and they discuss American accents and regional cultures; and what it means to be a Californian. The show ends with Gareth and Daniel questioning Bex's logic in regards to daytime walks. If you like Gareth and Bex, check them out here.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 086 – Let Me Know When You’re Menstruating
    Returning guest Gareth of Gareth's Random Ramblings joins Daniel yet again. This time around, Gareth decides to actually lets Daniel talk this time. Gareth and Daniel compare the various weather patterns of their respective countries, and go into talk of Fast and the Furious and Paul Walker's demise. Of course, Paul Walker jokes are in poor taste, but Daniel and Gareth are no strangers to bad jokes in public. Daniel enjoys saying weird things when his stories are interrupted by other people. It is amazing to see how often people don't notice. Gareth tells the story about when he was going to a funeral and a big cunt of a woman made his day a little worse when she started yelling at everyone. Daniel discloses one of his funeral wishes, and shares one of the weirdest porn genres he has ever heard of. This raises the question: Is period porn a thing? Back from the break, Gareth and Daniel give their vast knowledge on Disney and Disney movies. They hate on how perfect The Rock is, and how movies are all just shitting all over themselves with reboots. Then, comes the mean part. The guys rag on Mike Jolitz for not being able to be mad and how he is just a cheery person. But, they also talk about how he may actually be a certain sandwich spokesperson. In case you needed a geography lesson, that is what Daniel and Gareth are here for. Daniel reminds Gareth that California is a little bigger than he thinks it is; and Gareth uses animals to describe Australia. Finally a question that plagues Daniel: What is a blowjob? Is it just getting your dick sucked, or is it getting a blowjob from start to finish? The ending opinion: Finish that shit or don't call it a job If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
Listen: podcast - audio/mpeg

TotTP Episode 085 – Racism Didn’t Used to Be That Bad
    This week, Daniel is all the way in Ohio, in Scrish Bar with the crew from Afterburn739 (Midgey, Fez, Cobra. Leo, and Kitty) Daniel has been swipin' on Tinder since he's been on his little break. What he's learned is that he is a California 4 and Michigan 7. Looks like it may be time for him to pack his stuff and move. The show immediately tailspins between black chicken slingers and the way Amish treat their animals. There is actually a nice lesson on the Amish culture in there somewhere. Daniel is relying on the gang to run his show; and Midgey came prepared with some sexy fetishes. The first of which is "semen tributes". The jizz - ahem, I mean gist - of this is to have mn print out a woman's picture and jizz all over it. Next on the list: Furries, and plushies. For those weird people who like to cough up fur balls after cunnilingus. Daniel goes into his fetish of pussy worship. The show goes south, fast. After a brief discussion on the word "cunt" then, "nigger" and "faggot" are thrown around very loosely. After the break, the group goes into the newest law that makes it illegal to bang an animal. The worst part about this law is it JUST went into effect. Leo tests Cobra's legal knowledge when it comes to any potential loopholes that may be involved. The second half didn't go far without some more racism. White people get ashy. Racism isn't as deep as they'll go. They'll also fuck animals, including giraffes. Make sure to check out the Afterburn739 podcast every week wherever podcasts are available. If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 084 -Falling Down the Porn Hole
    On this week's show, Daniel is joined by Fear Innes, the host of FYFCast and FearCast. They discuss the origins of Fear and his co-hosts, and how their show got its start. In Boston, Pornhub of all places has stepped in to plow all the snow from the recent storm. Pornhub is actually a great company that gives back to the community in big ways. According to some fucking article, eating pussy can help a women's health. Whether or not that's not true, is a case by case basis. But for the guys, they are fully willing to help their women be as healthy as possible. Even if this means no more blowjobs, they are fully willing to do what they need to do to make their women happy. This leads the boys down the porn hole to all the weird porn they've watched. Daniel tries to bring up the friendzone with Fear . . . who's been married for years. But, Fear knows the concept. It may not have been called that, but friendzoning is a curse as old as time itself. Out of all the "staying out of the friendzone" tips, Daniel and Fear manage to make them all extremely rapey and also advocate rape and how most women have it coming. After the break, Daniel delves into some Astrology. Telling about the sexual nature of Leos and Geminis. Daniel realizes his manipulation, and I guess it's the fault of the stars. The topic of what are the nastiest sex facts about different signs. Fear, the Leo is the center of attention. Daniel, the Gemini is natural am upbeat conservationist in bed.   Dear Abby, My neighbor across the street is abusing his family. Should I reach out to the family and offer support, or should I mind my own business and protect my family.   It's hard to stand back and watch bad tings happen to people, but it's also hard to risk getting involved in something that can endanger you and your loved ones. There is a woman who holds the record for most sexual partners at once in the biggest ganbang in history. You can find Fear's work by checking him out on FearCast or FYFCast If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 083 – Cum on Your Decolletage
    This week, Daniel is joined by Emily from The Story Behind Podcast. After a short discussion about the end times and Christian fear mongering, Daniel goes right into it with a very compelling question from Jerry from the Bad Cop Bad Cop Show. Jerry wants to know what Emily has done to compete with the outgoing Kinky Cassie. Emily does hint that her college years were a little outrageous. But, alas, she has nothing for Jerry to beat off to in the wee hours of the morning. Daniel fawns over Emily’s voice and how much of a chub that it gives him. First dates can be hard. Fortunately, someone made a list of some great first date questions. They aren’t that good though. They break some awkward barriers of first date conversation. Such questions on places to travel, who your friends are, cat person or dog person, and family dynamics among some things. Some of these questions are fine, but if you ask them in a weird way, they can come off as creepy or rapey. Faith update: Emily wants to know how things are going with Faith. What’s the news? In general, Daniel has given up on her completely. After killing George Michael, Emily has decided that songs that she sends Daniel kills the artist. Looks like the plan to kill Kanye and Bieber is now in play. Through many rabbit holes of Fitbit, hobo wines, and breast milk, Emily takes over and sends the show into a break. Daniel gets career advice at work from the person handling the 401(k). She thinks that radio is dying and Daniel should become a financial adviser. The ages of video rental stores and VHS porn is discussed which. And then, Emily gets super dirty. She brings up a story about a vibrator that monitors their partners. This company is being sued for being a little too NSAish with their data collection. But, Emily gets kinky talking about breasts and tightened vocabulary. She still won’t divulge her college escapades. Daniel finally pops the question he’s been dying to know: Will Emily be his podcast wife? What kind of dynamic would be involved in this relationship? How would it be parallel to her actual marriage? People suck. That is a fact of life. Emily is especially sensitive to this, especially after her experiences working directly with customers. It is also a sad fact that people in general are just selfish and stupid. And some people just need to shut the fuck up. But, it makes trolling that much funner and easier. Check out more from Emily at the Story Behind Podcast. If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 082 – Adam and Bryon (EHAP)
    Daniel is joined by Bryon and Adam of "Everyone has a Podcast". The conversation takes off at full speed as they touch on parenting, and Bryon's autism. All his life, Bryon wondered what was wrong with him. Turns out - Autism! Go figure. The big question: What did YOU do for Women's Day? This is a topic that ramps Adam up. He feels as though the real day should be "Wage Gap Day". And, that he believes is the problem. He sees the wage gap as being a mostly reasonable gap. A gap that exists because jobs pay what jobs are worth regardless of the gender of the person in the position. Also, gladiators, and infant death? Also, Adam calls Daniel "David".   In Spain, there's a brothel for people to come in and fuck a sex doll. But, there are many issues with sex dolls. The main one: The lack of humanity. But, Daniel and the boys from EHAP come up with many solutions to improve the sad state of affairs in the sex doll world. These include eyelids and and a voice.   After talking about ass moles and rape, the conversation goes into the obvious direction: Jesus. Specifically, Catholic Jesus. And, not just Jesus; but his followers. Well, Catholics, mostly. Next, awkward social situations like elevators and dick or ass etiquette when walking through a movie theater. Or, how about when people pace you when you're walking. That awkward zone where the person just makes you extremely nervous. What grinds Adam's gears? Fuckin' Deadpool. It was incredibly overrated, and has had entirely too much internet notoriety. This leads into Round two of "Let's Shit on Kevin Smith". Obviously, he's done great shit. But, his messianic presence is a bit sickening. This gives birth to #NotMyMessiah. After the break, we are joined by the one and only Canadian Jesse Ventura. He has a lot to say regarding nanomachines, zombie nazis, fluoride and many other globalist agendas. He is selling a book, which you can buy with Bitcoin or Ventura Bucks. So, check that out if you want. After he left, Jesse Ventura sent Daniel an article regarding saving yourself digitally after death. A company has developed an app that scans you and loads you into the app to be immortalized after death. This conversation goes very deep. They question mortality, and discuss what the afterlife might look like if the digital realm were to really exist. Check out Everyone Has a Podcast at: www.ehappodcast.com Follow @EHAPPodcast If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 081 – Where Da Hobos At?
    Daniel is joined this week from Lorne from "The Bold and Belligerent" podcast. Lorne is from Las Vegas, and Daniel is very familiar with the sin and self-destruction that the city brings. After Lorne discusses sexual coffee joints, Daniel reminds everyone of his trip to a very sketchy strip club, where the day shift girl was sporting a botched boob job. The internet has taken its toll on society. It is clear that civilization is not ready for all that it has to offer. This is of course true of all the big internet "stars" who do things simply for likes. Underneath all the mindless drivel, it's just a bunch of angry trolls trying to pull themselves away from their own stark realities. Sometimes the best thing a man can do to keep himself from making fucked up decisions is to simply rub one out. This helps Daniel to keep away from double handjobs (That don't count as sex), and breaking into his vast rolodex of pussy and be used as a human sex toy. A new type of weed is hitting the market. It's target: undersexed women. Sexxpot is a type of weed that keeps women horny so the men in their lives won't go completely insane by the lack of moisture in their undercarriage. With Vegas being the town filled with all kinds of odd people, Lorne breaks some news about the man who was caught after beating several homeless people to death with hammers. Though he admits it is fucked up, he can't help but think that maybe the man was doing the Lord's work. It is the opinion of the two that most homeless people are just an ungrateful drain on society. A point of contention for podcasters worldwide would be Daniel and Lorne's opinion on how overrated Kevin Smith is and how he just perpetuates sleezy laziness in the nerd community. What show would be complete without a discussion on the Snowflake generation, and the overpussification of America and acceptance of asinine beliefs? The discussion delves into transgendered, people who identify as animals, and people who identify as disabled. If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 080 – The Curse of Gareth: My Legos Never Lied to Me
    This episode of the Toe on the Trigger, Daniel is joined by Gareth from "Gareth's Random Ramblings" who hijacks the show with his own - Random Ramblings. They discuss podcasting, and the evolution of Gareth's podcast from its humble beginnings on a laptop in his car. They discuss the way podcasting can bring people together and help people put their content into the world. Gareth talks about how he uses humor to help him deal with the problems that he faces in his life. Nothing is off limits when it comes to humor including miscarriages and 9/11. Somewhere in Australia, there's a bar that doesn't allow men to pick up on women. Women can pick up on men, and if they do; the men have to talk to them like they would there mothers. Calling them cunts and bitches is not outside the realm of possibility. Gareth wishes this bar would've been around when he was younger so that he would've had an excuse as to why he never picked up girls. The Random Ramblings bleed into movie talk. They discuss the various remakes and reboots of Disney movies and "Star Wars". Daniel talks about the intern he wants to rage fuck because of her complete inability to have a decent conversation with him. Gareth buys Legos to get through his crippling depression, and feel like he's loved by something. Find Gareth on Twitter @grrpod or on his website at garethsrandomramblings.space If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 079 – Rusty Trombones and Genital Freezing
    Daniel is on his own in the world without Kinky Cassie for the first time. To start off the new chapter of TotT, Daniel invited Mike Jolitz from "The Mike Jolitz Show" to spend an hour with him. They spend a good portion of the first half discussing what makes a podcast, and owning your own content when making a show, not letting people direct your show. They also delve into the elements of comedy. No episode of TotT would be complete without sex talk. The first order of business: Genital freezing. Genital freezing, dubbed "Love Mist" is a trend in the UK involving spraying liquid nitrogen onto your junk to increase bloodflow and boost endorphins. The "procedure" is supposed to improve your sex life. Mike says that he would only do it if someone else paid for him to have it done. Another fun thing people are doing in the bedroom is the rusty trombone. "What is a rusty trombone?" you ask. Well, it is when a man gets a rim job while receiving a handjob. Well, the fine folks at Cosmopolitan have made a list of proper etiquette when giving and receiving a rusty trombone. There are many things to know like foreplay, using lube, and cleanliness to take into account before going to the land down under. Naturally Daniel can relate to kinkiness and the occasional assplay. He shares about how he is actually not as kinky as people peg him as (pardon the pun). This may have to do with the age at which Daniel was sexually active when his girlfriend's dad had to by condoms. Mike faces the fear of what he'd do once his daughters become sexually active. Mike starts the second half with the question "What is the worst thing you've ever done sexually?" Of course, Daniel knows that his sins are more emotional than physical; especially the girl who he whore'd himself to in order to receive food and cigarettes. Mike shares about how his sex life was a little crazier in his younger years when he was drinking and hosting strip bowling tournaments at his old job. He has now gotten his life together and settled down a bit. A new toy is in production being dubbed the "AutoBlow2" which will be based off of real vaginas. Women can go to the website of the product and submit a picture of their pussy for people to vote on. The winning pussy will be a model for the AutoBlow2. Naturally, there was a variation of pussies being submitted ranging from pretty little pussies to dusty, winged little bastards. February is Black History Month. In celebration of black history month, a New Jersey school served a variation of foods such as: fried chicken, cornbread, and macaroni and cheese. They labeled it as "Soul Food", so it's not racist. Groups are split down the middle as to whether or not this act is racist. On one side of the aisle, people are screaming racism; on the other side, people are saying this is no different that Chinese food or Mexican food. What do you think, weigh in in the comments or on Facebook or Twitter.   Dear TotT,   My boyfriend and I have a good sex life. The problem is that he doesn't climax and ends up having to finish himself off. He doesn't like talking about feelings. I don't know what I should try. Please help.   - Ashley, Port Orchard, Washington   The verdict: Just enjoy it. If he doesn't care, then neither should you. Let sex be fun, and don't overthink it. If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 078 – We Need to Try Different Restaurants
    After a weird conversation on bra sizes, Cassie's last show starts out hot. Daniel is practicing Lent this year, with or without religious ties. The vice he's giving up: porn. Why? Just because. He is taking the reins of his life and making some small decisions to be better. This includes, only fucking once a month. Cassie is also giving up porn, but is also giving up sex (Except with Eddie, of course) and drinking for an indefinite amount of time. For all the nerds out there, there is a new sexy product to help spice up the bedroom. Nerdy Sex Toys is a small company based in Australia that's main goal is to make sex fun and exciting. Their toys include: A Sailor Moon themed vibrator, Iron Cock, Super Cock: Man of Silicone, and A nice line of Star Wars toys to name a few. Valentine's Day has passed, and Daniel had a small date with a loud Jewish girl. He went to see the movie "La La Land". Is it Dogshit or Nah? Well . . . a little of both. But, that's beside the point. The real story is how Daniel made himself look like an awkward jackass by proposing sexy time via text. Needless to say, he failed. In other news, Daniel got engaged. The lucky lady: a girl who has long since friendzoned his ass and knows that maybe he is a last resort. Of course, sex may end up ruining the friendship, and Daniel has had many relationships where this is the case. Of course the internet had to make Valentine's Day as epic as possible. The hashtag #RejectedCandyHearts took over the internet briefly with such winners as: I Tolerate You, My Rash Isn't Contagious, Boner Time, and Lower Your Standards. Childbirth is a beautiful, beautiful thing. But, for one woman, it became a nightmare after the nurse tried to shove the baby back inside of her, rendering her genitals severely damaged.   Dear Danny Boy,   I have listened to the show. It is clear to me that you don't know how to please a woman. Maybe I can give you some tips on how to please a woman.   - A Dude Who Knows What He's Doing   It is very clear that this disgruntled listener has only been listening to a couple of episodes. Daniel hopes this person will send some tips, 'cause who doesn't need to learn. Does his argument hold water? According to Cassie: A wee bit. Daniel defends his honor with justifications and rationalizations about how he treats women just fine thank you very much. He explains how his views on pleasing a women is dependent on who the woman is and what their relationship is. Now to the elephant in the room. Cassie is leaving. As part of her farewell, some of the loving listeners got together to give her a proper send off. These listeners included: Gareth of "Gareth's Random Ramblings", "Afterburn739", Courtney3000, Jason of "Three is Comedy", Mike Jolitz of "The Mike Jolitz Show", Choo Choo Stu, and Emily of "The Story Behind Podcast" The two reminisce about the times they've shared on the show. Cassie will be missed, and maybe she will stop by from time to time to update us on her current endeavors. If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 077 – Eddie is My Daddy
    Cassie begins week one of her final shows, and Daniel has many personal questions regarding some of her recent decisions. in lieu of her leaving, Daniel is trying to be social, but is discovering that he is horribly awkward and possibly socially inept. XHamster is putting on auditions to cast someone in a series of Donald Trump porn parodies over the course of the next four years. Daniel would watch for science, and Cassie is on a porn and sex hiatus. Would you be interested in watching a Donald Trump porn parody. Shoot us a message and let us know. Obviously no porn discussion would be complete without a discussion on religion. The first order of business is crazy televangelists and rich churchgoers. Daniel and Cassie delve into their childhoods and pull out nuggets from their fundamentalist pasts. After the break, Daniel and Cassie revisit the topic of pet names during sex; the strangest of which is "Daddy". What does it mean, is it incestual, is it a sign of dominance? Is it innocent? Our credible friends at Broadly have the answers.   Dear Daniel and Cassie,   I found out that my girlfriend might be a furry while I was on her computer. When I asked her if she was, she stormed out of the room and hasn't talked to me since. What should I do?   In the end result, people again need to communicate better. The listener needs to give his girl her space and let her know that he is there for her when she needs to talk. The conversation changes to the topic of going through your significant other's computer and the problems that can cause as well as the intricate science of sending nudes. If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 076 – I Love a Good Choking
    After two weeks off, Cassie has returned to the show. She will not divulge her reasons for being gone, but it may become obvious a bit later. Meanwhile, Daniel was struggling with some epic stomach problems. He went on both ends of the excrement spectrum. But, all-in-all, things are looking up for him. He's taking more baby steps in his life to continue being less of a dirtbag.   Everybody has their kinks and fetishes, some people like to be peed on, some people like to wear VR goggles and a gas mask pumping sex scents intot their nostrils. Different chokes for different folks. When it comes to fetishes, you find yourself doing things that you may not particularly enjoy. Daniel and Cassie have both pissed on their exes, and Daniel almost killed his ex when choking went wrong.   In other recent events, Daniel recently passed a big milestone in his life. He is celebrating eight years of sobriety. In those eight years, one thing that he has learned is that people who smoke weed are incredibly annoying.   Right after the break, Cassie drops a bomb on Daniel. She announces that she is leaving the show. Although she has had an enriching experience, the show has begun to conflict with her most recently acquired beliefs and she believes it would be in everyone's best interest to move forward with her life. She will be missed by Daniel, and all supporters of TotT.   Dear Daniel and Cassie,   I love giving my boyfriend head, but he doesn't return the favor. I mention it to him, and he says that he doesn't like to do it. I am becoming resentful. Am I being selfish? Is he being selfish?   Michelle, Nashville, TN   The consensus this week is that the boyfriend should at least put forth some effort, 'cause relationships are about sacrifice and compromise.   If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 075 – Memory Foam Vagina
    Episode 075 finds Daniel without his usual faithful sidekick; but joined by returning guest Erik Shaft” Johnson. This episode would be sorely uninformed if it did not cover the recent inauguration. And, what a big inauguration it was. Between the all-white soccer mom Mormon choir, and the complete dump taken on the past presidents; President Cheetoh really triggered a lot of folks. On the bright side: the new president, and the crying liberals will make for great show content in the upcoming years. Daniel’s dating life is remaining stagnant. His brilliant idea to stick around niche dating sites has reached a dead end. It’s hard for him to take most of the girls online seriously. He is again turning to the internet to help him discover perfect places to find girls. Since Uber has failed him, he doesn’t work at at a sex shop, he is too selfish to volunteer, and he judges every girl at a record store; his final option may be to pick up chicks t funerals. There’s no shame in his dirt bag ways. If all else fails, he can pick up a basic bitch rocking’ the Sparta scandals and the mom shorts. Next time you go to send an emoji to a friend, be sure to check your privilege when you realize that the white (It’s actually yellow) emojis are first . . . Ashley Judd will not stand for this. She is standing up against yellow/white emoji privlege, and suggesting that black emojis be first so that white people are forced to pick. Why it matters? Well, she’s a celebrity . . . Shit gets boring. In another part of the country, a man is being forced to pay child support on a kid that is not his. Not only is he not the father, but the father is most likely some dude that homegirl fucked behind his back! But, of course, that doesn’t matter to the American justice system. And, of course Seattle has some fun shit going’ on! A mermaid colony has risen. A group of people are gathered together who identify as . . . mermaids. Yes, fucking mermaids! One person even quit her career to become a “full-time mermaid”. What ever floats your boat or your body . . . or your legs . . . or whatever the fuck! Speaking of identifying, Daniel brings up another group of fuckin’ winners: The transabled. That’s right, a group of people, with perfectly abled bodies - who FEEL disabled and therefore identify as disabled. Daniel and Erik discuss how this may effect society going forward. Willl this new trend demand disability benefits. Will they be paid the benefits? How will they prove their disability? On a lighter note . . . Satanism, better rules than traditional Christianity? Daniel and Erik compare the difference between the 7 tenets of the Church of Satan vs. the 10 Commandments. In the end, the tenets of Satanism seemed to hold up more in based on its sheer logic alone. One thing about bringing in lists from the internet, is you always risk a flopped topic. Which brings us to Romantic Topics That Are The Worst. A very basic, generic list that basic reminds you to take anything you’ve ever seen in a romantic comedy and throw it straight out the window.   Dear TotT,   I'm a little stuck here. My girlfriend and I had sex for the first time on Christmas and it went pretty well! But things got a little weird when we started fooling around in the following days. It should be noted that she was a virgin and I hadn't had sex in a few years, so that may contribute to all this. Basically, I had mentioned repeatedly how I wanted to go down on her but when I finally did, I had trouble. She didn't taste or smell - BAD - necessarily; but it was strong, and about 2 seconds in, I started gagging. I grabbed a flavored condom and turned it into a dental dam. This went fine for a short while, but the thing went up my nose while I was breathing and I dropped it. I accidentally got it turned around so when I went back at it, I got her taste rather than the vanilla and gagged again. Is something wrong? Should I try something else?
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TotTP Episode 074- Make Me Wet and Freak Me Out
    This episode starts out with Daniel offending Cassie with her new name for the week: “Trashy” Cassie. It has been decided that her name will probably change on a weekly basis. If anyone has any suggestions for a name for an upcoming episode, feel free to let us know! With Cassie’s sugar bear not around and Daniel just giving up, both members of our crew have gotten zero laid. This has brought Daniel to search out some - avant garde - online dating sites that may cater to his picky idiosyncrasies. Some examples he found for himself include tastebuds.fm, a dating site for music lovers. Of course, he thinks a lot of people don’t take music as seriously as he does (Of course he would!). Or, maybe Libertarian Passions would suit his fancy a little more, or he can make his own dreams come true and create a website for nerds (or geeks?) that use Linux (GHEY!). Of course, Cassie is a little less picky about her site, but not by much. It’s agreed upon unanimously that a sugar daddy would help immensely, but if she can’t get that, she’d settle for old people, or breaking up an already failing marriage. She would also love to jump the bones of some geeks (nerds?) on a "Star Trek" dating site. As long as there aren’t inmate or a virgin, they’d probably both be content. So, we know none of you sick fucks would never dream of masturbating at work. But Daniel and Cassie . . . They are not above such shenanigans. They’ll go as far as endangering the lives of their coworkers to get them some. It’s all fun and games at work till someone gets punched in the face. On a side note, if you want to send your work nudes to the illustrious (INSERT NAME HERE) Cassie, feel free to send them, but make sure they’re at work, and use the hashtag #WorkNudes. Tax time is upon us, and Daniel and Cassie aren’t getting as much back as they had originally planned. Taxation is theft!   Dear Abby, I am at the end of my wits, and I need some answers. I am almost 13 and dread being a teenager because I don't want things to be complicated. I used to have depression and felt suicidal, but I never told anybody. I eventually got over it and am now physically fine. But I'm not emotionally stable. Recently, I was told things I don't know how to react to. Among them was, "Wow, your voice is deep," and, "Your laugh sounds like a witch." Most of the time I'm a happy-go-lucky person, but in the last few weeks I have been flickering from happy to sad and have no idea how I feel. It's almost like I don't know who I am anymore. I'm wondering, is this a mental disorder? Or am I simply being silly?   - Confused Teen in the South   Daniel and Cassie continue the trend of digging deep into their cold hearts to answer the Dear Abby this week. It goes to show that maybe there is hope for them after all.     If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 073 – Whatchu Know ‘Bout Debauchery?
    Your favorite snarky host is joined once again by "Anything Goes Cassie". Someone please get this guy an actual co-host. Right, *nudge* am I right? Anyhoo, after some minor confusion Daniel jumps into how they both have joined the New Year, New Me club. Though they discuss the desire to call it quits with cancer sticks, they are both bound to light up after "cigarette warranting activities". Eddie and Water Girl are brought up, of fucking course. "Fat Shamer Cassie" shares how even she is making an effort to work on her weight this year. What a hypocrite. Wait, no that one checks out. Daniel and Cassie discuss the different types of queefing, vaginal and anal (the butt one is just farts though). Daniel taunts Cassie about her cavern of a vagina, followed up by welcoming "Snow Tits" to the TotT fan-mily. "Terrible Influence Cassie" gets to live out her goal of corrupting small children. It's a grand time. This week, on "Dog Shit or Nah" the hatred for “Star Wars: Rouge One” is strong with these two. "Plenty O' Plosives Cassie" goes in depth about how upsetting the film (shudder) is and how entertaining Daniel's frustration is. All in all, definitely a "dog shit" round. "Moana" was also briefly brought up. According to Daniel and "Lemon Peeling Cassie", Disney squeezes out another "Nah" rating even if it's literally a movie about a suicidal chicken. *Funky fresh news sound blares* Sexy priests, Cum-Dodging Cassie's worst nightmare of a human and an up-skirt photographer are all covered in this week's news break. "Throws No Punches Cassie" tells Daniel her logic about how the size and build of a person, can greatly determine their behavior. Because science, man. "Bud Sex" is a nation sweeping phenomena and "Wants To Watch All The Boys Fuck Each Other Cassie" spills her dirty mind tea all over the studio. Buckle up folks! Daniel pushes "Overly Sensitive Cassie's" buttons for a hot second and it get's tense.   Dear Abby,   I am a straight man who met and fell in love with a transgender girl I'll call Eve. We dated for almost three years, and they were the happiest of my life. In all that time, we never once had an argument. She said I had given her the strength to come out to her family and begin her transition. I was planning to ask her to marry me. Without any indication that anything was wrong, she dumped me one day and weeks later began dating her friend, another trans girl. I wanted to walk away and take time to heal, but Eve maintained that I was important to her and we could remain friends. For the next few months we tried, but her new girlfriend treated me like I was a threat. While I was emotionally hurting, she seemed to take intense pleasure in showing me how happy they were together. It eventually led to friction, and now my ex thinks I caused it because I was jealous, so she cut off all contact with me. I stood by her when she absolutely needed my support, but when the time came to give a little back, I was abandoned. I'm worried I will never trust anyone again, and I don't know how to get "myself" back. Can you help?   Abandoned in West Virginia   "Dear Abby" has "Sentimental Cassie" on her soap box (things get sappy. You have been warned.) and Daniel chimes in with his own smushy experiences. Episode Seventy Three ends on a fluffy cliche note of "balance is everything." Now ya'll know what they know about debauchery. This week's podcast: [Show Name]: [@TwitterHandle] and [show website]   [Twitter Link]     If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 072 – Three Dollar Gummer
    Do you all remember the one and only Erik "Shaft" Johnson? One of our veteran guests from podcasts past. It's been over a year since he's been on the show, and his nervousness shows.   Try as he might, Daniel couldn't manage to bring much holiday spirit to the show; probably 'cause he no soul. He can't seem to bring the festive as fuck attitude to the show. Christmas is a very touchy subject for the show.   Daniel sees a girl while eating dinner that looks strangely like his ex. After many socially awkward, panicking moves; it turns out, it was just another basic bitch.   While at dinner, Cassie overhears a man of color say that he wouldn't fuck her which may teach Daniel and Cassie about saying bad things about people in public; probably not, though.   To try to fanagle some content into the show, Daniel shares a very morbid life plan involving rape, donations and a karma scheme.   As if Daniel hadn't learned his lesson enough from trying to add Christmas spirit to the show, he shares a list of unorthodox Christmas songs:   On this year's list:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Gx_e_8hHvs Waffle House 12 Days of Christmas     https://youtu.be/jWKN-EYFxbs?t=14s Christmas with the Devil by Spinal Tap   Nerd actor, Christopher Lee with such classics as:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLP1PEqp8ks Jingle Hell   And   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG_YbW5EDgk  Little Drummer Boy   And, who could forget:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOg7aPNLLG0&t=10s Eric Idle - "Fuck Christmas"   Daniel shares how salty he is about the holidays despite trying to buy gifts and be in the festive mood.   Various stories are shared about cheap and not-so-cheap prostitution tactics, and Daniel has a scumbaggy view on contractual law in regards to marriage.   The question is raised: Will you make out with a chick after she's given you head?   Final attempt at Christmas cheer with Christmas traditions around the world:   What about the shitting dude? Or   Japanese KFC?   What end of the year would be complete without delving into some New Years' Resolutions Erik has a very sound list that includes: Receiving more blowjobs With his measly 75 this year, he ups the ante to aim for at LEAST 150 next year. He also wishes to make good on his past debts with the IRS; and of course, getting into shape.   Cassie gets a bit more realistic. She wants to fuck a guy with a strap-on, get a car, and make good on her dry year as a lesbian and fuck a woman. All realistic. She would also like to get an internship, get over her petty little cum-aversion, go to a strip club, and possibly quit smoking (Psyche!).   Daniel, the meatbag has become quite scared of his physical state. Due to his weight and status as a smoker, menial tasks have become an emergency. so obviously some lifestyle changes are on the menu for him.   Dear TotT,   I have a problem I need help solving. I work from home all year. All of my employees work out of my house. I try to give my wife as much time as I can throughout the year; and I usually manage to do do very well. Once a year, I have to travel for work, it’s only only one night. But, on this night; every year my wife sleeps with most of my workers! I have told her many times how much this upsets me, and she just tells me she has a thing for midgets. I’d be okay with it if she at least slept with me every once in awhile. What should I do?   Sincerely,   Chris Kringle   P.S. Tell Cassie to keep her stocking ready, ‘cause she’s gettin’ a nice batch of St. Nick’s famous Kringle Nog   The best advice we've given all year comes from our returning guest: Give the employees the day off. Simple as that.   The show is wrapped up with some bucket list items like: Fucking midgets, black chicks, and Asians.
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TotTP Episode 071 – Organic Masturbation
  Faithful, loyal, loving, tender, gentle Daniel is joined by . . . JUST Cassie. Daniel has to pull himself together to get into the mood to podcast when he realizes he can't put it off until the next, because he has plans with Cassie to go to a diner. Cassie launches into a rant that smells oddly of man-hating. Apparently, all guys don't like to commit to plans in case more enticing plans are revealed, like a female wanting to sit on your face. The two decide to roleplay (not that kind of role playing, you demented fucks) to show who cancels plans more. While Daniel feels guilt for canceling plans made a week ago, Cassie gets slightly defensive when it is brought up she has canceled plans that were in the calendar for nine months. That's like carrying a baby for nine months then deciding you don't want to have sex with the guy after all. Cassie's masturbation woes make another appearance in the form of dead batteries mid-orgasm. Just when you are five feet from the top of the mountain, life smacks you right back down to the bottom. No wonder she is in a mood, her vagina is all scratched up from having to masturbate organically.   #letthecumcomethrough   Could it be? Did Jerry and Dave from the Bad Cop Bad Cop Shop jerk each other off and sploosh in a sealed container for Cassie to shampoo her hair in? The excitement is short-lived when Cassie realizes the mixture is a condiment she despises even more than cum in the hair: mayonnaise. The wait for a cum-filled container continues. Hopefully, people will join in the #letthecumcomethrough movement so that Daniel can open a PO box. Daniel shares news that does not help to elevate his mood. The Palomar College radio station he used to DJ at won an award and a guy he used to DJ with is about to graduate. Daniel is feeling the regret of being a community college dropout. However, the plus side to being out of school is he no longer psychoanalyzes people from his days as a psychology major... okay sometimes he still does. But, listeners can rest easy knowing they won't run into the awkward situation of having Daniel as their therapist.   The sadness continues when the two discuss a cool device called The Lovely, which is a fitbit for sexy times. A device that monitors your thrusting patterns and all the calories isn't a bad thing, what is a bad thing is realizing it is geared toward couples and you are all alone. All by myself, indeed.   Movers Penis: noun 1. a scared penis that rolls into a joint out of fear of being crushed;   2. a button dick phenomena caused by carrying large objects.   Sentence: My tact escaped me when I had to shove my hand down my pants to cure Movers Penis. Oh my god, his movers penis looked like a little button and I lost all interest of having it jammed in my pussy.   Big Dick Eddie has a new nickname. Ya know, the hero that saved Cassie from a long drought of being zero laid? He has become the Sugar Bear to her Mama June. But could Daniel have unintentionally caused trouble in paradise when he tainted Cassie's loins, mere minutes before Eddie showed up? Hey Eddie, how did Daniel's dick taste? In the past, TotTlers learned the 43 questions women always wanted to ask guys. This week, Cassie stands in for all women to attempt the answer the 41 questions men want to know about women. Does having a pussy feel like warm, banana pudding? Do you women think their vagina's look weird? How hot does a guy need to be until a woman cares about his personality? Is a man in uniform a turn on? Daniel helps in answering the ultimate question in how to get pussy, let's just say a high percentage of women can be humored to the sack through personality alone.   Dear Abby, I am a bi-sexual woman currently married to a man, but previously married to a woman. I love my husband, but I am still highly attracted to women and my husband is neither open to a threesome, or okay with my sexuality.
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TotTP Episode 070 – Y’all Should Fuck Eddie
TotTP Episode 070 - Y'all Should Fuck Eddie       Daniel and Kinky Cassie get into the topic of gift-giving. While the only thing Cassie can look forward to from Daniel for Christmas is another year of friendship, The Bad Cop Bad Cop Show mailed Cassie an early Christmas present. Fingers crossed it turns out to be the first specimen for #letthecumcomethrough. Speaking of cum, maybe Cassie will be lucky enough to get Luke Johnson from the Bold and Belligerent Podcast to send in his cum, because according to rumors she would enjoy nothing more than to fuck the shit out of him and be doused in his dick smoothie. Apparently, simple online bantering can be mistaken for flirting. Daniel explains we need to be easy on the poor, bastard child. Question, is it vain to hang up a painting that symbolizes the show, but is basically a giant picture of yourself? Thanks to @amurdermostfoul for the wonderful painting of the show artwork.     Future ex-wife Faith makes another topic appearance (Damn, will Daniel and her just fuck already and get it over with!). Cassie is wondering when he will finally make a move or take out the garbage for good. As it stands, she could be his Pam Beasley, or he could be a back burner guy for when things inevitably fall apart with fuck boy. The question is: What will happen if she finds out about the podcast? I don't think people take kindly to being called garbage human beings. Sir Big Cock makes another appearance by destroying Cassie's pussy. God bless Eddie and his big dick. Being sore = good fucking. Not being able to feel your pussy or masturbate = a good fucking by Eddie.   Have you ever battled with the question “To fuck or not to fuck”? Well, if you have to ask yourself whether or not it’s a good idea or not, do the right thing: masturbate. Seriously, masturbation can clear your mind of all the reasons you may have to make a terrible mistake.   We all have those red flags for when guys/girls get weird. And deal breakers doesn’t just apply for dating,in can also be a gauge for fucking someone; because they have to have some type of standards. The ultimate conclusion: Clingy is bad. Hippy stank is a’ight.   Guys name 34 things about girls that guys don't understand. And of course, who better to answer on behalf of women, than Cassie? Daniel dives into a rant on how men are always waiting on a woman. Bottom line, men will marry a woman as soon as possible if women would just forego the planning, and it shouldn't take nine months to cook a baby. It also shouldn't take ten years to figure out why a woman is mad. Cassie explains the perfectly logical reasons for why women are the way they are. However, Daniel doesn't seem to get it. It is possible Daniel wrote the entire article by himself.   Dear Abby,   What can I do to make my way from my gf's floor to her bed? We have been together for a black people minute, yet the bitch will not put out, citing her young daughter as reason. What do I do?   Communication. Communication. Communication. Grow a pair of balls and tell his girlfriend that the floor is getting uncomfortable and he will be sleeping in her bed. What is wrong with these Dear Abby's not wanting to talk to people? What are we, five? If you have a problem with someone, Talk.To.Them instead of writing to a an advice column.       If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don't forget to hit the Subscribe button.   Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We'd love to hear from you!   Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?   Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.   This podcasting business is expensive!    
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TotTP Episode 069 – The Feeling of Slut in the Morning
Episode 069 - The Feeling of Slut in the Morning     The heartless, the soulless, the not-caring-for-anybody Daniel and the schizophrenic Cassie are back; and right out of the gate we touch upon a topic that has beaten worse than a raped and abused stepchild: Fat chicks. What is Cassie's deal with Fat Chicks anyway? And since every opinion Cassie has on the podcast becomes Daniel's opinion, what is his deal with Fat Chicks? Ya'll fat chicks need to calm the fuck down. Everyone is attracted to what they are attracted to. Some people like more rolls, while others would rather not have a significant other with a gut. It’s simple biology. Everyone is good in their own way. Daniel and Cassie's discussion with a triggered individual, causes them to dive deep into the archives to revisit Cassie's stance (not Daniel's!) on Fat Culture. Furthermore, opinion shaming is just as bad if not worse than fat shaming. Besides, Cassie doesn't spend her time running around, slapping fat chicks across the face. If there is one silver lining for all the fat chicks out there, Daniel will fuck any woman 18 and over. So bring on your love handles, ‘cause Daniel will gladly hold onto them while he takes you to pound town. This is, by the way, the last time they will touch on this topic; so anymore inquires on the fact will be directed elsewhere. What could be worse than fat shaming and opinion shaming combined? How about, using a handicap stall at a fast food joint to get high? I'd say that one takes the cake. Here’s some words of advice to paranoid tweekers: If you’re afraid of drawing attention to yourself, don’t use the handicap stall if you’re not, in fact, handicapped. Daniel has a situation at work with Faith that leaves him thinking Cassie may have been correct in calling her "garbage human being." He tries to explain a good coffee cup is like a cast iron skillet, you give it a good rinse after each usage to season it, but you only wash it every once in awhile. Unfortunately, Faith does not seem to understand this concept, or the concept of not touching things that do not belong to you. Speaking of touching things, could Faith be warming up to the idea of putting her lips around Daniel's dick? And if so, is Daniel be cooling down to the idea of Faith? From Daniel's work week, listeners are taught a few life lessons: $100 Hawaiian shirts should be burned, and last, and most important of all, Don't fucking mess with other people's coffee cups. There may be a special place in hell for people who fuck with coffee cups. Thanksgiving! By the time this episode airs, everyone will be wiping the gravy off their shirts. However, it is always good to show thanks no matter the day and the Toe on the Trigger Podcast would like to thank all the various listeners out there, the outspoken and the quiet ones. Cassie is thankful for co-hosts of the past who unintentionally fucked Daniel over, alleviating any show responsibility from her. She is no longer plagued with having to come up with show prep and instead can spring last minute stories in the middle of the show. Daniel is left to find topics to discuss such as, articles where 13 sex-crazed men talk about their favorite places to ejaculate on a woman. People who have listened to past episodes are waiting ever so patiently through the normal, boobs, ass, lips, pussy comments, until they get to the guy who would probably send Cassie a cup full of cum: the dude who wants to jizz in a woman's hair. Cassie decides it is a good time to clear the air, because while she may not prefer to shampoo her hair with cum, she does enjoy the morning-post-sex-slutty feeling, including crunchy hair. As always, the topic turns into a tangent on casual sex contracts everyone should have, because catching feelings is a big no-no that needs to be discussed beforehand.   Dear TotT Hey guys! It is time to have the talk about female masturbation.
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TotTP Episode 068 – Baggie Full of Cocksand
TotTP Episode 068 - Baggie Full of Cocksand     This week we say goodbye to Cum-Dodging Cassie, and meet the newly promoted, Super Kinky Cassie. Side note, someone send Cassie their cum so she can put it in her hair like dry shampoo. Perhaps... ChooChoo Stu? Maybe Daniel can let his cum dry and let people at the clubs snort his cock sand.   Daniel got... kind of laid? I mean, should it count if the sex feels like work? Daniel and Cassie dive deep into the red tide of wetness... ya know, the crimson tide. The sticky, gooey, smelly hell river Daniel canoed across last week. He underestimated the flow of a fat chick and was left to suffer the consequences of disturbing such a crime scene. Doesn't matter, had sex? Cassie has her own virtual sexual adventures to discuss. While on the interwebz, she met a foreign individual across the pond, who is getting her damper than Niagara Falls with their in-depth sexting. We are talking some scenarios that would make erotic novelists horny, and some intense masturbation videos. Cassie is beginning to think she has some serious problems when she pulls over to a secluded parking lot for a forty minute meditation session with just her and her weak AF fingers. The two of them discuss sexual relations in the car. Just when you think the snowflakes were starting to calm the fuck down about the election, you remember Florida exists. In Florida, they don't give a fuck about the spirit of Christmas and will - through liberal temper tantrums - ruin anything sacred and beautiful.!Daniel and Cassie go on a tangent about underwear. boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs? Women may be taking over boxer briefs to Daniel's dismay. Fuck equality shit, ain't nobody wants to undress a chick to discover boxer briefs. Listeners get to find out what their favorite podcasters wear as undergarments, in this juicy tell all! The second half of the show gets saved by none other than mindless click bait. The first of which is a list compiled from Ask Reddit, where 16 men confess their thoughts during sex. Along with the usual insecure thoughts over the quality and need for cum control, there are men among us who admire the smell of pussy. Cassie shares her experience with a sniffer who was heartbroken he did not get to smell her freshly after she’d been fucked. You also get the men who just want some mother fucking water! You also get the Daniel's of the world who are engineer's in a control room. Daniel mulls over what women are thinking during sex. If she is thinking of her taxes, she isn't that into you bro! On the flip side, if you are fucking her like a gorilla and she starts reminiscing about Harambe, its on! Since we are so far down the rabbit hole from lack of show prep, let’s get depressed about how our backbreaking labor will never pay nearly as much as the worthless Kardashians! 'Murica! They all take the top spots of the highest paid reality stars. (Okay confession time- a certain podcast note writer may have bought a Kylie Jenner lip kit, but there is no shame! That shit is dope.) Daniel admires the leach-iness of Kris Jenner. What do the single folk do in their spare time? Unfortunately for Cassie, no one else is going hog wild on themselves on the side of the road. Can we all stop pretending single people are depressed and waiting by the phone? Many of the single folk are spending too much time shopping, taking selfies, and fucking to be depressed over their singlehood. Or if you are Daniel, reading shit on the internet all day, err day!   Dear TotT,   I'll keep this short and to the point. I very much enjoy hearing about your lives and what you get up to in Ramona, California. I especially love your updates and confessions about your sexual misadventure, the sexual deviants you both are. What I'd like to know is your thoughts and perspectives on female ejaculation. I imagine, quite often actually, that Cassie is very much a gusher,
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TotTP Episode 067 – Battered Women Taste the Best
Episode 067 - Battered Women Taste the Best     Daniel meets Kinky Cassie's alter ego, Thug Cassie. Decked out in some skull sneaks, baggy black scrubs, black tank and hoodie, Thug Cassie will steal your fuckin’ lunch money.   Election results are in. Honestly, what else is there to talk about? Movies told us Aliens would be the cause of the end of the world, but they got it wrong. The Apocalypse is Social Justice Liberals beating the shit out of Granny and her granddaughter for voting for Trump, and Racist white supremacists ready to get the ol' gang back together to hang some Googles.   Daniel voices his shame in living in America at this point. However, you won't find him in the fetal position or threatening to leave the country. He ain't no snowflake. Speaking of threats to leave the country, there is a hefty list of Celebrities (and I'm sure a few Joe Blows), who need to start packing their bags and get the fuck out. You said you were gonna leave, so Bye Bitches! Be careful about reminding Amy Schumer she promised to leave the country, because her inner Social Justice Warrior may start crying and call you an asshole. To save face, she may want to move to California, because the bleeding liberal state may be bowing out of the United States.   On the flipside, time for everyone to make like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and cash in their golden-blow-job tickets. For those who voted for Trump, forget Harambe, it is time to whip out your cock for adult film stars Angelina Castro or Maggie Greene to slurp on. If you voted Clinton, you get a sad attempt at a blow from crusty old Madonna. Unfortunately, no one was willing to suck Dick for Johnson or Stein.   The podcasters remind listeners to remain calm, some countries are accepting of the change and new chapter in America. Russia's Putin even came out in support of Donald Trump, which is a score for the U.S., because as everyone knows you don't want Russia hating your guts. A Furthermore, any ladies on the verge of suicide or even still on the high of Trump winning, it may be beneficial to give a shout out to your favorite host. Daniel has great cock!   As part of the election (Not meaning to Seabiscuit the topic) many on the far left have taken on to protesting by burning New Balance sneakers because of their support of Trump. We’re not saying this is a brilliant marketing idea; but let’s just say that as a show, we support (INSERT THE CANDIDATE YOU DESPISE HERE), and if you wish to burn products in our name, feel free to purchase them from our Amazon link. /shameless plug   Over the week, Daniel went searching the vault of Google images for cute fat girls. This opens the door to the much-loved discussion on fat girls and Cassie’s never-ending struggle with “fat culture.” The struggle between how to identify a - ahem - bigger girl is a very difficult thing to do in today’s culture. After some pandering, it is decided that Daniel could never spend his life with a fat chick without cheating on her. Scumbag level: 100!   In the latest Girl news with Daniel: Daniel is hopeless. The girl from down the hall, Am-Alyssa has quit. She no longer works there, and Daniel is a bit sad. So, his focus is moving onto Faith. She has been visiting Daniel in his new office to banter. Could Faith be his Pam Beesly? Before Daniel gets a chance to grab information from Cassie as to what his next move is to be, she gets all female on him about how she has yet to see his new office. It’s all Podcast Daniel’s fault.   Dear Abby,   My boyfriend Ian is an abusive game playing fear monger with no fuckin’ libido. What can I do?   Conflicted in Virginia   Cassie and Daniel are baffled at the amount of bullshit that this girl will allow in her life and advise her to leave the douchebag and learn to love herself so that she won’t fall for clown shoes like Ian.   This week, #Election2016 talk. #CryingLibs,
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TotTP Episode 066 – I Don’t Fuck With Scarves
TotTP Episode 066 - I Don't Fuck With Scarves     Daniel is again plagued by girls, girls, girls; and the soap opera of Daniel's love life continues! Before we get into things, question for listener: is it considered semi-stalking to stick your ear out the door to listen for a female to walk of her office down the hall? (I thought so). Daniel has not given up on the female in his life he has nicknamed "Amanda." He is still in hopes that one day he can catch her leaving her office. Unfortunately, Daniel got cock-blocked by coffee, ya know that afternoon feeling when coffee grounds knock on your sphincter's door? Needless to say, his little bowel emergency made him just seconds too late. Cassie talks the conversation off on a tangent by musing about what would happen if the bathrooms at Daniel's work were. sexually integrated. Women better be careful about whipping their vagina's out around Daniel.   Next we move onto Faith. Is she worth the fuss? Cassie, of course believes she is in the hole by negative a million points. Daniel is on the fence whether she makes out in the positives, or if her stock has dropped in the realm of bucket three. First, we have to analyze the company one keeps to judge a person's character. Daniel continues with his stalker ways and looks up Faith on Instagram. The guy that pops up is the most backwards hat wearing, douchebaggiest fuckboy in all of human history. Minus one point for dating a fuckboy. In her spare time, she makes a candy covered poem poster board for her new boyfriend. Minus one point, because if she does art projects like the ones from third grade, she's too young for you, bro! And remember when Cassie freaked about her not knowing the holy trinity of movies? Her music choices are just as bad. Her and fuckboy went to a concert with Wiz Khalifa, but they didn't even stay for him. Minus two fucking points for horrible music choice and not sticking to commitments. Daniel may decide he has to just take a step back and be a spectator in her life.   More work news comes to light. It appears handsome Daniel is still roaming his office and people are still losing their shit over his change in style. I wonder what this individual would think if they found out what Daniel really thinks of her six day compliment streak and putting him on blast in front of Faith? Daniel is really having bad luck with the ladies, but Cassie digs herself into a hole by mentioning he has a cousin with a vagina . . .Is the law in favor of dating first cousins?   Pumpkin spice season is overlapping with Peppermint Mocha season, and Cassie had planned on gearing up with her leggings, messy bun, and boots in an attempt to become Starbuck's first basic bitch of the Christmas season. I know, that leaves a taste almost more bitter than the taste of children in people's mouths.   How soon is too soon to put up Christmas lights? Daniel is hoping his Scrooge-like heart will be melted this year. Cue the holiday movies with a music background while a family happily shoves delicious ham and turkey down their throats. Cassie even suggests getting the #squad back together for the Christmas episode. However, in Grinch like fashion, she shuts down the idea by reminding Daniel that he has no friends.   Out of desperation so the show does not completely derail, Daniel brings up an article about a trans man and a trans woman having a kid. The conversation returns to Daniel, because he decides to come out to Cassie live on the show. He can't hold back his sexuality any longer. He has a thing for a certain Mexican Staple, and he just can’t contain himself anymore.   Dear Abby,   What do I do about my 34 year old entitled daughter wanting another baby when she can't take care of her current child? We are forced into enabling her and want to know how to cut her off before our retirement runs out without her taking away our ability to see out grandchild?  
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TotTP Episode 065 – Recreational Masturbator
Episode 065 - Recreational Masturbator     This week Daniel is joined by “Whatever-her-nickname-is-this-week” Cassie. Ghosts of Podcast Past are still continuing to haunt the show, as the TotT podcast can’t seem to shake the topic of cum. Speaking of past partners, Daniel got invited to New York by a female from his past. Cassie is all over Daniel to take this field trip and explore New York City, because how can you not when someone is offering to foot the bills (less plane ticket)?   Daniel steps out of his comfort zone by attending a social event called “Boo Ball,” hosted by a local radio station at the House of Blues. He learns he is in fact not very social. He talks of the usual suspects at any events, bar, music, pole dancers, but he brings up a sight that floored him. Imagine a soundless room with a DJ and people hipping and hopping. How does this make sense you ask? 3 words- Music. Streaming. Headphones. A novelty or gay as fuck? (gay as fuck, definitely) Cassie is immediately not too keen on the idea, but will she like Daniel’s idea, birthed from this silent rave room? The idea not only solves the problem of booming stereo’s drawing attention to high school parties, but it can also save a person from getting rejected at the club. Or of course getting triggered by a song that objectifies women, because all one has to do is simply remove the headphones. Welcome to the future.   Let’s go to the mall. Because a possible promotion for Daniel (applause) equals the need for new clothes. Cassie and Daniel find formal workwear for him, but he gets a case of the purchase-regret blues. Daniel is whining like a chick who thinks she looks fat in everything-Daniel see’s himself as a swimmer in fabric in his new clothes.(Cassie has to explain he is just used to wearing tight clothes.) However, everyone knows it doesn’t matter what you think personally, all that matters are the perspectives and opinions of other people. New Formal Wear Daniel takes his model look to work and gets a polarity of responses. He gets the normal responses, then he gets the over-the-top response from an over-zealous co-worker who may be mildly retarded. Daniel is learning the consequences of being a sharp dressed man as well as having to take on more responsibilities due to a superior quitting. Who knew workplace shitter conversations was part of the new workload.   One of the news stories brings on a conversation on life sentences. How does one compare scumbags? Are they all created equal? How does one quantify a life sentence? (Daniel wonders if resurrection from a technical death means the person served their life sentence.)   Let’s move onto a lighter topic, a field trip to a local sex shop. How dare they assume their relationship status! Cassie was like Alice in Wonderland, amazed by everything in the sex shop. She has trouble finding a toy, because for Cassie it isn’t about pleasure, just the fact that she needs to get off. She has to masturbate because of an addiction. The struggle is real, people! (We can’t all be 16 forever and spend all day pleasuring ourselves). After settling with a bullet massager from Femme Funn that is easy, powerful, and convenient, Daniel suggests starting a wish list on TotT for Cassie. She could always add to her collection of sex toys and vibrators, while in the process be cured of her ‘ailment’ as Daniel calls it. The sex-crazed TotTlers also review some really good lube as well as some toy cleaner.   Dear Abby, My wife wants me to end a 25 year old friendship with a former coworker, whom I am not attracted to, simply because she is threatened by her being a female. What should I do?   First and foremost, Cassie would like to get on record that the wife is a cuntbag. The past few Dear Abby’s have been from people not having the balls to communicate with the people they have issues with. (but to be fair, sometimes talking makes things worse).
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TotTP Episode 064 – Happy Rape Victims
Episode 064 - Happy Rape Victims     This week, Daniel finds himself suffering from troll karma. All his behavior has finally caught up with him and now people are striking back. Or, he’s just a gigantic pussy. Girls,Girls, Girls. Because Daniel’s life is a Spanish soap opera. He dishes more about the two women in his life. Actually, more like one and a half. We start with Faith, the hot receptionist at his work; or according to Cassie: the forgettable chick who doesn’t know what Pulp Fiction is. Some information comes to light about this girl, and Daniel is starting to wonder if sticking around is worth it. His strategy may be bleeding into the real world, because he was called out for his flirtatious demeanor at work. We continue with girl in the same building, but different company (Did we name her Amanda?) Daniel is starting to question whether or not his source in the building who claims she has a live-in boyfriend may have been mistaken. He lays out possible reasons as to why she is being extra smiley, and talkative with him. Hopefully, the reason ends up being she wants the D - boyfriend or no boyfriend. Cassie is reminded of her role as Daniel’s voice of reason when she is tasked with coming up with new strategies or GTFO. Here is some life advice for Daniel and for other's: Get on the Exodus Diet. Because being fat makes God angry. He is not a wimpy lover, he is a jealous God. Besides, who needs food when you have God to fill you like you have never been filled before. Daniel shares with Cassie and listener’s a video describing his new diet.   Don’t Daniel and Cassie sound like people you want to worship with? Well, Daniel could be coming to a church near year via worship team. And no he isn’t doing it for the pussy, so don’t even go there. However, is it possible his type of body shape may not be accepted? Who knew someone could be body shamed out of church. Well, if Jesus went through all the trouble to get rock hard abs, the least us fat asses can do is follow the guidelines to being presentable enough to walk through church doors. I mean, everyone is welcome in the house of the Lord, but you may be shoved in the back with your fat sausage rolls hidden by a tarp. Cassie describes an imaginary (well semi-imaginary) worship team and hopefully goes along with whatever point he is trying to make. After the break, we learn another one of Cassie’s secret fantasies. It involves a dickless man rubbin’ some nub. We also learn way more about the ever-sexual Kinky Cassie, because sex is a perfect topic to followup a story about the worship team. Gerbilling. Rule #34 of the internet, if it exists, there is porn of it. Let’s be real, there is a porn for everything so let’s just make peace with that every sick, twisted fantasy exists. We can choose to live in la la land with Cassie, but where’s the fun in that? Luckily, Cassie does not like the idea of cocaine covered gerbils clawing through her asshole. It could be possible Cassie does not have any room left in her asshole with all the sharpies, dicks, and random dildos shoved up there. Maybe one day we will see her on the show, Sex Sent Me to the ER. She may choose to break a Guinness world record one day.     Dear TotT,   Why will guys check out other women’s asses when they are with their girlfriends or wives?   Sincerely,   Katie     Answer: They are victims of biology. It is hard-wired in their brains to check out other women. And ladies, be real, you check out hot guys as well, celebrities and real life men. We are all humans and can admire their are other attractive people in the world. Here is some advice for guys on how to check out women and creep on human beings properly: Cassie explains to not be an asshole like Daniel and make comments loudly. For example, if a fat girl is on a bench it is probably best to not loudly ask Cassie you wonder what sex with her smells like...
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TotTP Episode 063 – Black People Aren’t Ornaments
TotTP Episode 063 - Black People Aren't Ornaments     TotT gets political this week to keep up with the election. More on that later. For now, they remind you each day is a gift and to “grab life by the pussy”. Daniel, of course, can’t expect Kinky Cassie to understand this whole pussy fiasco, because she hasn’t been paying attention to the election. Unlike others, she is sitting on the train facing straight ahead, instead of rubbernecking to see the car crash that is Presidential election 2016. Daniel, on the other hand, prides himself on knowing the ins, the outs, and the what-have-yous of this train wreck election. Perhaps next election everyone should get together and elect Daniel as the next president. First rule: no pant suits allowed. All women must wear short mini skirts in the oval office. However, a guy dressed in a dress is atrocious and not ‘Murican. Speaking of guys who dress as women, #FuckLuke. Daniel reminds us to stop feeding the troll and to instead chip away at the troll by using the aforementioned hash tag. You know what, Luke is so insignificant, we won’t even waste any more precious words on him. Fuck you, Luke! Daniel has an update on the females he recently added to the PoP a few weeks ago. Uber girl is obviously a no go. She squeezed Daniel for everything she wanted and moved on. According to sources, the chick just in his building has a live-in boyfriend, and Daniel is ready to take the next step with hot receptionist at his work. He is contemplating finally buying her a beverage, because if you give a chick a Starbucks, then she will think of your cock. If she thinks of your cock, she is gonna want to suck it. Sounds like everything is going smoothly...or are things not as they seem? Cassie strongly disagrees with his work friend due to new information Daniel has uncovered about her. Her advice changed from slow and steady, to pull out and abort mission. What are your thoughts? Unfortunately for Cassie, her strong disagreement with this new lady is causing some passive-aggressiveness in studio. Cassie may need to learn her place is kneeling at the pedestal of Daniel. After the break, Daniel is concerned for Cassie’s well-being after he finds out she is dabbling in the hard stuff… Fan Fiction. It’s not her fault she appreciates the creative minds that come up with trees with long ass dick, branches fucking the shit out of people. Let us pray it isn’t underage folk coming up with the sexual tension getting Cassie ‘damp’ down south. I mean, who doesn’t get hot off the idea of human “Knotting.”(warning-this has zero to do with crafting). Here are more lives that matter. #ClownLivesMatter. Real clowns are sick of the discrimination due to the scary, fake clowns posting up all over cities, trying to scare everything and everyone. The clowns may want to rethink their strategy of giving hugs, because wanting hugs from kids is the gateway drug to wanting to lure kids into the woods. Breaking News Alert: Daniel goes on a long ass rant about how fucked up America is. Everyone is afraid all the time. Everything is going to shit, and it’s easier to see how that is the case, because people are starting to call kids “little bigots.” And by people, we mean Social Justice Weirdos (Because kids wearing a Native American costume is way worse than objectifying men by waving a dildo around on a school campus? ).     Dear Abby,   My friend’s kid is a major bitch to mine. Unfortunately, she is always going to be around at social gatherings, so how do I go about handling this situation?     Advice guru Cassie first takes the reigns on this question, because she is used to having to deal with a bitch kid. Depending on their age, it is better to let the kids deal with it themselves, because parent’s will always think little Suzie and Bobby are their little fuckin’ angels. Or according to Daniel, one could have your kid join Fight Club so your kid could be re...
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TotTP Episode 062 – Sphincter’s Gonna Sphinct
TotTP Episode 062 - Sphincter's Gonna Sphinct     The motivation bug hits Daniel once again, and he has been working overtime to make the podcast you, the listener. To help make the podcast better, Daniel has soldout. He is pimping himself out for your hard earned cash, so go to the support page on the website to find out how you can help out. Now that that awkwardness is over with, let’s talk about the morality of having sex with someone while they are asleep. If someone is dead asleep, but they start getting handsy and hand over a vibrator to use on them, is it okay to have sex with them? A man was sentenced to three years for engaging in sexual play with his former sexsomnia ex-girlfriend. Daniel and Cassie's what if's games based on the situation goes real deep. Cassie then talks about how awful it is to be falsely accused of rape. Surprisingly, the podcast takes on a topic deeper, darker, dirtier than rape:eating ass. Because, there ain't nothing more satisfying and taboo like tongue punching the ol' fart box. Daniel and Cassie briefly contemplate whether the content of devouring ass will be too much for the San Diego Sun Radio that just added their podcast to the lineup Tuesday nights at 9pm. But in true fashion, the 3am at heart podcast marches on. Daniel brings up another article, this time 19 men confess their deepest thoughts on eating ass. One man believes it is important to go make way to the area with brown skies, because the anus has millions of nerve endings as well as the clitoris. Another man shares his feelings, feelings that deeply offend our pussy loving host. The logic used basically was, might as well hit up the ass when he vagina doesn't smell good, 'and he eats pussy like a pig at a trough.   Per usual, Daniel and Cassie's personal experiences hijack the conversation. We may need to change Cassie's name to "Ass" Cass, because apparently our sexpert has eaten 8-9 asses like they were fuckin’ groceries. She shares her experience with straight off the construction site ass instead of straight outta the shower ass. Let's just say, if she had asked you to smell her finger, it would not have smelled like pussy... Daniel shares a story about the time he had sex with an ape who enjoyed throwing her feces at his wall. Sometimes when your sphincter sphincts mid masturbation, little surprises pop out of your hole. Daniel and Cassie contemplate whether the content of devouring ass will be too much for the San Diego Sun Radio that just added their podcast to the lineup Tuesday nights at 9pm. But in true fashion, the 3am at heart podcast marches on. After the break, Daniel busts out another article, this time: The Gentleman's Guide to Casual Sex. Cassie decides it would be fun to listen to the list and answer the underlying question: Is Daniel a gentleman when it comes to having casual sex?   Be a straight shooter It may be a bad sign that they can't get past the first guideline without it coming to light that Daniel has done things purposefully to be an asshole. While going over things not to say, Cassie asks Daniel if it was appropriate to send his then booty call a love duet? Don't meet the parents Don't cuddle post-sex Choose your women wisely. Daniel, don't take advantage and go after the women you know are in love with you. Or infatuated with you, because being in love is different than being overly obsessed with a person. Before you jump down his throat, he gains back brownie points for not having sex with people whose friendship he values.   (Intermission: Daniel's bucket three from work mentioned a few episodes ago is going swimmingly. Cue happy dance)   Don't blab about your sexual excursions. Yep Daniel fails this one.   Grade: Daniel is an asshole and not a gentleman. I guess it is true females have a thing for assholes, because there have been many females who have been obsessed with our host podcaster. However,
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TotTP Episode 061 – Friend on Friend Facial
TotTP Episode 061 - Friend on Friend Facial       This week, Daniel and Kinky Cassie are joined by podcasters who are more fucked up than they are, Dave and Jerry from the Bad Cop Bad Cop Show. Daniel admits that he may be a little fearful of what these two will say about him on their next show. Daniel and the guests get into a discussion on the elements needed to make podcast magic. It takes more than simply getting some friends together and shooting the shit for an hour. Empathy. Daniel learns how slimy men can be when he gets hit on by a flamboyantly gay man, who only wanted him for his body. His hairy ass body and nipples are apparently a turn on for gay men, because he can be their big bad, bear-cub. Hopefully he learned why some women label him as a scumbag; they may not find it favorable to be told they have 'potential'. You are shitty now, but you may be less shitty later. Women just want to be fucked for their brain, alright?!   Our guests as well as listeners, get a look into Daniel's life when he discusses the time he lived in Mexico. Daniel has gone through a lot in his life, but sometimes it is better to eat and fuck the pain away, rather than be mind fucked by a therapist. Cassie talks of her own adventures in Mexico as a young Missionary, trying to teach the ways of Jesus to young, deaf orphans. Because those Catholics are doing it wrong, fuck that whore Mary, everyone knows it is all about Jesus Christ.   After Dave and Jerry get over their fascination with the news stories, Daniel introduces an article with 43 questions every woman is dying to know the answer too, but are too embarrassed to ask. Cassie narrowed it down to 10 questions that she legitimately needed to know. Does it make guys feel insecure when women masturbate during sex? Does cumming feel like peeing for men? What do men think about the nickname "daddy" during sex?   Ladies, get your pens and papers ready to take notes! As a side note for all the ladies who want a piece of Daniel, never say his name during sex. He knows his name, and he prefers his nickname "Jesus" to be used, because TotT hasn’t sexualized Jesus quite enough. During the segment, more of Daniel's dirty laundry comes to light; like that time he gave his friend a facial . . . “on accident”.   It turns out TotT had to fess up to a stolen idea. It appears they ‘borrowed’ the Dear Abby segments from the Bad Cop Bad Cop Show. Although, they both technically stole Dear Abby from Abby, so no harm no foul. Regardless, enjoy the first and last installment of, Dear Jerry:   Dear Jerry, Me and my husband have 3 kids. Originally, he didn’t want any kids, but we had them anyway and now I want more. I was thinking 19 kids and counting status. However, my husband got snipped due to not wanting any more, and I am wondering if I should go to a sperm bank?     Dave and Jerry give a resounding, fuck you greedy bitch, your husband is done paying for your kids. The advice quickly turns into a discussion on the process of getting a vasectomy. Cassie and Daniel both comment on their baby-less life, while everyone around them are pushing out one after the other. To end the show, even more fucked up shit about Daniel is shared. Because where the pull out game fails, the swift push down the stairs does not. A big thank you to Dave and Jerry of the Bad Cop Bad Cop Show. Check them out on Facebook and Twitter.   This week we're joined by the @RealBadCopShow. @cassandra_5622 work for #God, and @DanielRepholz1 #FriendlyFire https://t.co/X0pgQSvzU2— ToeOnTheTrigger (@ToeOnTheTrigger) October 3, 2016     This week's podcast: Passersby Podcast: @passersbypod and passersbypodcast.com   Check out this event by the Passersby Podcast The folks at the Passersby Podcast are raising some money for the Kid's Food Basket to help raise money to combat child hunger. Check out the event,
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TotTP Episode 060 -Bucketize Yoself
TotTP Episode 060 - Bucketize Yoself       In this week's episode, Daniel and Kinky Cassie find themselves in differing moods. Cassie has gone from obsessing over her erotic fiction, to obsessing over things that inspire her and will benefit her in the future. Our cave dweller has emerged into the sunlight! She may have sort of written off sexual partners for now, but she hasn't completely written off sexual pleasure- she even makes time for explosive orgasms (and when I say explosive, she legitimately almost caused an explosion on her pussy via vibrator.)   Daniel on the other hand is finding his brain obsessing over, girls, girls, girls, morning and evening. There are three females in Daniel's life who he has yet to devise strategies for.   1st Female: We shall call her "Jessica." Listeners were first introduced to her a few episodes ago as the random uber customer, who called last week wanting a place to stay. She makes another appearance in Daniel's life, this time asking to use him as protection. Daniel is starting to wonder what she wants from him. Maybe the D? “D” as in doubtful!   2nd Female: Let's call this one, "Alison." She works in the same building as Daniel and they have interacted on the elevator twice now. He was looking longingly into her eyes, and she was... looking at him like a person, because that's what you do when you talk to someone.   3rd Female: Her name is going to be, "Faith." She is a new hire within Daniel's company, and so far so good according to Daniel. He is even spending 15 minutes after work talking to her, and she could possibly be doing the giggly, blushing flirting technique girls do. However, should Daniel shit where he eats?   Cassie finds herself having to bucketize these lucky ladies into a concept that has been discussed on the podcast, "The Pails of Pussy Strategy." In this way, Daniel can assess the time to risk ratio of each lady to see where his focus shall lie.   Speaking of the strategy, Daniel clarifies aspects of the PoPS (Pails of Pussy Strategy), when he discusses a texting conversation between him and a poor unfortunate soul, who is confused by the whole concept. Daniel tries to explain the pails are not based on levels of importance or respect, and the whole concept is a copy of a financial strategy. Unfortunately, the female he was texting still found herself confused. (which is why men handle the finances). If any listeners want a more in-depth look into the strategy, whether you are old listeners requiring a refresher course, or you are new listeners who haven't been properly introduced to the concept, you can get a refresher here.   Cassie has finally made peace with the strategy, but she admits having first viewed it from the perspective that it is based on levels of importance. I am sure many women may see it as sexual objectification, but let us all remember Daniel is not a complete scumbag. He has redeeming qualities, including being a top notch friend who will save you from disastrous situations. Cassie puts it best, "He is the sweetest asshole you will ever meet."   After the break, Daniel teases the possibility of taking TotT on the road, directly to the people. Thanks to a good deal on mixers from Leo of Afterburn 739, the TotT podcasters could be coming to a city near you.     Back to the topic of sex (Naturally), Daniel brings two articles to the attention of listeners. Perhaps we should all up and move to Switzerland, because they have just opened the glorious "Fellatio Cafe." This cafe is known for its coffee, as well as its blowjobs. Imagine sitting down at your local coffee joint, sipping from your coffee cup, and ordering a sex worker via iPad to come suck you off. The Swiss may have the secret to true happiness. Daniel may have to find himself another person to fill Cassie's spot, as she may board a plan at any moment to work for said cafe.
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TotTP Episode 059 – Stamp Tramp
Episode 059 - Stamp Tramp       This week TotT is joined by the cast of the Three is Comedy Podcast. They are a morning radio type podcast consisting of three friends who have known each other for 15+ years. Jason, Bob and Mindy -  or is it Bob, Jason, and Mindy? - It is still open for debate who exactly is the meat in this sandwich. Daniel is forced to open the show with our guests in tow without Kinky Cassie, who so far has a perfect 0 for 2 record in regards to her lateness whenever guests are on the show. Daniel and the guest co-hosts start off the show with a click bait article about the 10 things you never knew about blowjobs. The article offers a nice reminder that ancient folk were just as sexually deviant, if not more so, than today as today. The list includes a belief in the power of semen, and how the Chinese wrote a detailed manual on the transference of semen from the heavenly dragon pillars to the brain.   Cassie finally rolls into the studio chalk full of apologies and a lucrative excuse that involved lying to the police. Her alibi is revisited later in the episode, and Daniel comments on how Cassie pulled a social justice response by making the cop check his white privilege; because it is not outside the realm of possibility for a lesbian to speed to hospital to watch her lover give birth! With Cassie finally in tow,  the group is further continues their blowjob conversation - or as it once was referred to as, sucking the mango. It is concluded by the group, that mango sucking is better compared to eating pussy. The good thing is, pussy doesn't actually taste like mango. Because if it did, Daniel would be in prison for mouth rape. It also comes out that Cassie may have met her match when it comes to the number of blowjobs given in a day. Her four penises is no match to that of the great Cleopatra – with her infamous 100+ dicks in a day. Cassie will need to step up her game! After the break, Daniel puts on his game show host hat for the game, "Name That Movie Quote." Clips such as, "Go ahead, make my day." "May the force be with you." And who could forget the famous line, "We're gonna need a bigger boat." TotT would like to thank the Three is Comedy Podcast for being on the show, and would love to have them on again. This week's podcast: Paint it Black Podcast @PIBComics and pibcomics.com   Hey #TotTlers! New episode out with our friends @ThreeIsComedy. We discuss #blowjobs and play a game. #PodernFamily https://t.co/31UqZUgesI— ToeOnTheTrigger (@ToeOnTheTrigger) September 20, 2016
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TotTP Episode 058 – I’ve Gotten Zero Laid
Episode 058 - I've Gotten Zero Laid       After a near explosion at the TotT studio, due to a short circuit issue or, as Daniel explains it, “Pumpin’ too much wattage into your cottage!”. Kinky Cassie and Daniel are back from their week long hiatus that left them wondering whether or not they even know how to podcast anymore. While orchestrating a solo rendition of Pink Floyd’s iconic “The Wall”, Daniel is haunted by  a ghost of failed pussy-eating past. As the satanic voice of a slowing record fills his room, he wonders what this past Uber customer could possibly want from him (side note - it has come to light that Daniel decides a person's worth before saving their number in his phone).  Rando-bitch proves female manipulation knows no bounds. Unfortunately for her, Daniel isn't so sex-crazed that a half-assed hint of possible sexual repayment is going to cause him to go to his roommates and say, "Hey, can this random bitch I drove for Uber a few months ago stay with us for awhile, because my face may get sat on from this favor?" We move onto the 1/2 of the duo who may be truly sex-crazed. Cassie has allowed her brain to become consumed with, what Daniel calls, internet garbage or smut. Her erotic novel, porn binge has reached new heights and is starting to affect her life.  Instead of getting outside to attempt to tan her paper skin, she is coming home from work, Gollum style to sit in her dark cave with her PRECIOUSSSSS.   Cassie has left her cave dwelling at least once to see Suicide Squad. Even though she went in expecting to hate it, she was actually pleasantly entertained. She gives the movie a “Nah with conditions”, which are as follows: it is a watch at home late at night movie or a drive-in movie where you sneak your friend in the trunk, because fuck that per person ticket sale bullshit. #McChicken. Okay, so what the fuck is wrong with the internet? This last week, a very interesting video has made it’s way over the Twittersphere. There is a man with a giant black cock fucking a McChicken sandwich. Yes, you read that correctly. Could this be McDonald’s trying to get into the sex industry with a line of food sex toys?  Of course the mention of black cock reminds Cassie of the various other cocks she has had in her life. There was a time in her life she just wanted a scary black man to fuck her. The tangent continues with more sex talk (surprise surprise), and Daniel also tries to drum up sponsors by promising Cassie's mouth as a cum basket for $300 dollars. Warning: Video shows a real life wang!     After the break, Daniel and Cassie discuss an article from Cosmopolitan about the 15 flirting mistakes every woman makes - or every human in general. The duo cop to a few mistakes they have made while flirting, including lying to be cool, pretending to be nicer than you are, pretending to like bands and movies, and generally just playing games instead of utilizing strategy or being your authentic self. In the process of going over flirting mistakes, Cassie confesses a lie she has told she can finally look back on and laugh at. We also find out if Daniel is a mysterious, man of few words or if he is just Aspie AF, because he forces people to ask him extremely specific questions. Dear Abby, I have a relative who is leaking all over my house and furniture, as well as leaving her soaked diapers in my trash. I need a nice way to tell them to knock that shit off, because if I wanted my house to smell like piss and shit, I would have gotten a cat. Cassie once again proves she is the advice queen. She overshadows Daniel's advice to just yell at Grandma about making his house smell like shit. Cassie suggests pulling up your big boy pants - or adult diaper you could say - and talking to your relative. When you care about the person, you have to be upfront. If they are just average friends, get plastic and a diaper genie.
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TotTP Episode 057 – Fuckin’ the Bucket
Episode 057 - Fuckin' the Bucket       This week, Daniel and Kinky Cassie find themselves doing the podcast extremely late at night without much caffeine or real stimulants to fuel them. Daniel relays his moments of starstruck awe as he recounts the events of the lunch he had with Leo and Kitty from the Afterburn739 podcast. This meeting revamped his motivation to do work on his podcast. The question is: Did they fangirl as much over Daniel as he did over them? He is a hot commodity nowadays making guest Skype appearances. Cassie notices the past few months, Daniel is more excitable when it comes to all things podcasting. Daniel has drunken the blood of an ambitious man -err person, and we are all the better for it.   Things are not looking good for the Cincinnati Zoo over the whole Harambe situation that occured in May. Since the incident, all of The Zoo’s tweets - from the price of tickets, to facts about turtles - have been met with the harsh ambush of internet trolls. This backlash has forced the zoo to shut down their social media pages. The Harambe meme overload is entertaining Daniel. Maybe even Cassie will join the #ClamsOutForHarambe movement.   In other news, in case you were starting to lose hope in the millennial generation, well here is more rain on your parade. Daniel brings up the topic of people dying due to an intake heroin laced with elephant tranquilizers. This raises the question that marketing directors should really think about regarding the act of actually “selling” drugs. Cassie and Daniel offer various sale pitches on why drugs are good for you. Bye Felipe! Guys, ever wonder how the ladies figure out you are a playa with no game plan? Well, these fifteen red flags should offer some insight. In the process of running the red flags past Cassie, listeners got an intimate view into Daniel’s sex life. What are his favorite positions? Does he enjoy deep throat (The jury’s still out on whether he’ll give it. Fuckin’ FAG!)? Cassie asks the ultimate question, does Daniel really even enjoy sex? (Mind blown). Cassie believes if uptight Daniel would allow his pucker string to fall out and actually take it easy, he may actually enjoy himself. After the break, Daniel praises Cassie on her use of legitimate show prep with her game: “Real, Real Bullshit.” She reads Daniel 3 news articles, and he must guess which one is made up. However, these aren’t just any stories; we are talking taxidermy piggy banks, lovers waterboarding, and blow jobs from dogs. Did you just assume my gender? The show would not be complete without more commentary on the gender phenomena. Princeton has released a pamphlet on how everyone can adopt a more “gender-inclusive” vocabulary. If you are confused on what a gender-inclusive vocabulary is, well I am sorry to say you are probably a white, privileged, cis-gendered, middle-classed misogynist  asshole like most of us who have been using an outdated, archaeic sexist terminology. Daniel and Cassie go over the listed terms, while of course offering their take on their lack of real humanity.  Dear Abby, My current boyfriend and I have been having sex since I was 8, and now I am 18 and I feel I can't stop. I can’t seem to control my sexual urges, but my boyfriend obviously should care enough about me to control his. Any advice? -Sexually Obsessed Cassie and Daniel decide to help the sexually misguided soul; or - according to Cassie - another weak ass bitch who needs to “person” up and talk about their feelings. Daniel is intrigued by all the unanswered questions stemming from this week’s dear Abby. How old was the boyfriend? Do people really start having sex at 8? Cassie hints she may be a sex addict like a certain “someone” she knows. This week's podcast: Faces and Aces LV @FacesAndAcesLV and facesandaceslv.com Be sure to rate, review and subscribe, and of course . . .  Tell a friend.  
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TotTP Episode 056 – A Right Good Thrashing
Episode 056 - A Right Good Thrashing       On this week's episode of TotT, Kinky Cassie and Daniel welcome a very special guest all the way in England, the co-host of Cave Crew Radio, ChooChoo Stu. He and Daniel made sure to give Kinky Cassie a hard time for being late (did she not realize the major time difference and how early he had to wake up?) Our guest promises to one day give Cassie a “right good thrashing”. A promise sending Cassie into quite a sensual tizzy. Continuing with Cassie's sexcapades, listeners finally learn the size of her special friend’s - er - member. Sir. ChooChoo raises the very valid question: Is good sex dependent on: A) the size of the boat? B) the motion in the ocean? Remember the gift that Cassie got her “special friend” in the last episode? Well, let’s just say, Cassie got a bit greedy with it. Let’s hope that  Cassie does get Sir. Nice Cock a good gift, because any man who utters the phrase, "Cum on my dick again, Kinky Cassie" deserves an award. Daniel is intrigued how the podcast has been enhancing her sex life, while at the same time fucking up his own. Choo Choo Stu humbly shares details of his own sexual excursions in the States.  He talks of “shagging” in a midsize sedan out in the desert of Nevada. Daniel is in awe by Stu's ability to drop panties simply by opening his mouth. Speaking of open mouths... Cassie tells a story of that one time she sucked a flaccid penis. #suckedadickforcancer This past week, Cassie had a strange run in with an what she presumes was an Autistic serial killer working at the local 7-11. And, like magic, Daniel has a wonderful quiz ready to go to test the group’s susceptibility to serial killer tendencies. Let's just say, one is a mild killer, one is a semi-killer, and one is a legitimate serial killer. Unfortunately, playing “Spot the Psychopath” in real life may be harder than one would think. Could it be the cashier at your local Von's who has been shit on one too many times, or could it be the irate customer in front of you? We may never know. "I've never been to Australia, but I'm sure their cunts are the same as ours." Yes, folks. It is time to have the uncomfortable dialogue regarding “cunts”. Daniel questions whether he should fly to England, the promise land of cuntary. However, the question he should be asking is just how ignorant is he about the social norms of England. Stu schools him on British Cunts- assholes with attitude and female genitalia. All cunts are created equal. #allcuntsmatter Apparently, Stu is more than a podcaster; he has also earned the right to call himself a singer/songwriter. He wrote and sang a beautiful ballad in honor of the Queen (big surprise there, what else do the people of the fine country of England have to write about. Besides, they have to worship the Queen, because she could always bring beheadings back, right?). After Daniel finishes insulting the Queen of England,  Daniel and Stu bore Cassie to death by falling down the rabbit hole that is politics. Both muse over when the big Donald Trump joke is going to be over. Someone grab the cane and pull him off the stage, he is a year past delivering the punch line, now things are just awkward. Dear TotT (A legitimate, original, TotT question from a listener) I was wondering if you guys have friends that only talk to you when they need something or to just complain. I have a friend that will only talk to me when she needs to complain about her life and I'm getting tired of it. I have known my friend forever and just don't know what to do anymore...any thoughts? -Katie All three share their own version with the all too familiar narrative of the needy friend. Stu does an excellent job of explaining the types of needy friends there are: the psychological or physical needy person. After the boys attempt to offer their own advice on how to drop a one-sided friendship,
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TotTP Episode 055 – DerpWizard and the Millennial Falcon
Episode 055 - DerpWizard and the Millennial Falcon       Cassie starts out the show hot and heavy with her qualms with the new Star Trek movie. Cassie the Trekkie gives her review on the newest movie, and gives it a "Dog Shit" rating on the TotT rating scale. She also manages to throw any of our nerd community into a triggered frenzy with her talk of “Star Rawrs” and the  "Millennial Falcon."  She also wants to point out that the original series is where it's at. The bottom line, the new movie strays from the original. Even Chris Pine says, America cannot handle a smart Star Trek. Any person who has ever uttered the phrase, "Scumbag Daniel", be prepared to get a dose of Good Guy Daniel (with a hint of douche bag). Daniel decides to come clean after being caught in a recent lie on the show. He revisits the flowers he claims he bought from the bottom of his heart for his ex-girlfriend. It turns out, he left out one minor detail . . . After the break, Daniel and Cassie again show the entertainment value in reading online dating profiles. Hopefully all the geeks listening to the Star Trek review did not disperse, because we found them a gamer cutie by the name of "DerpWizard." Low maintenance is key with this woman, she does not need long walks on the beach due to the fact it may set off her PTSD, GAD, or Rapid Cycling Bipolar. For those already dying to marry this lovely lady- too bad, she is not of this world  and is only looking for friends. Bummer. For people looking for human friends here on earth, Cassie is in the same boat as Daniel after jumping off a roller coaster with a couple people in her life. Both Cassie and Daniel are  convinced that without each other’s friendships, they would just die alone.  There is hope for Cassie, as she discusses nursing a friendship with Sir Big Cock, her ongoing fuck buddy; which asks the question: What do you get a fuck buddy for their birthday? Maybe a teddy bear resembling that person’s favorite Star Trek Character? After the break, Daniel introduces a game called "Misheard Lyrics." He plays a clip for Cassie, who then tries to guess what the singer is saying in the song. He follows up each song clip with the laughable guesses of the American Public, proving wax buildup is real and we all need to clean out our fucking ears. Cassie essentially shocks Daniel by knocking a few out of the studio. Go Cassie!  Side note, can someone please write a song with the lyrics- "My anus where your face is" ? Dear TotT,     How can I get my husband of 20 years on the dude train? I have  a gay buddy he disapproves of, but doesn't everyone need a gay best friend in order to not kill yourself in today's world? Please give me the not so fabulous truth. Signed- Wife and Friend Daniel and Cassie go back and forth over why a couple of 20 years is having such a bullshit problem. Insecure guys can be the worst. Grow some balls and get over your own insecure bullshit. Daniel does admit to being threatened by best guy friends of girls he has dated in the past, even though he may be that guy for his side kick. Daniel and Cassie end the show with the profiles of two psychos: one from Team Trump, and one Team Jesus. The first story is about the guy who recently tried to climb Trump Tower in order to get the attention of the presidential candidate. Have you seen that tower? It’s YUGE! Finally, the Nebraska woman who wants to - on behalf of God and his Son, Jesus Christ - sue all homosexuals. Good luck with that! Don’t forget to subscribe and tell a friend!
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TotTP Episode 054 – Let Loose the Gays
TotTP Episode 054 - Let Loose the Gays       This week Daniel and Kinky Cassie hold down the fort once again with an extremely, sexual episode. I dare you not to masturbate to this episode! The crew first get your nipples hard by discussing their sexual journeys for the week. With stories ranging from Cassie’s kinky daddy talk, where she is literally called fat by a sexual partner to Daniel travels through the underground railroad, leading to a near boning experience of Harriet Tubman. Luckily, he escapes the clutches of her ghetto to find out that it's never too late to back out or pull out. Sometimes, a lack of a condom protects against post-orgasm regret. Speaking of regret, before boning that cheap hooker in your marital bed, you might want to make sure your wife didn't buy the "Smartress." Your wife knows you may not be faithful, but at least her mattress is. The crew discusses  the perks of owning a mattress that alerts you to a possible cheating partner. While Cassie finds the idea to be intriguing and well worth the $1,800 price tag, it is probably best to realize that at the point this mattress is needed, your relationship is probably already in shambles.  Daniel and Cassie take a trip down memory lane, where we discover just how many times Cassie fucked in Daniel's bed. (Something to remember- the Smartress does not track the existence of sexual fluids, but you can always see if his sheets are stained. He may have fucked that squirter down the street). After a brief break, Daniel and Cassie decide to help all the people on Craigslist find their mixed connections. Sometimes you spot a guy across the room (at a bookstore, restaurant, groccery store), and you just want to suck him off right there.  However, their ugly, gremlin, troll-like "friend" is unintentionally cock blocking- so you post in hopes your cock-eralla will be scrolling through craigslist in search of the perfect sized mouth. But they could be possible looking for a catholic boy to get freaky with, or at least Cassie hopes they are. Dear Abby, My boyfriend of two years, Shane, is a self centered, douche bag who only cares about posting pictures of himself and not us. I can't figure out who is more of an idiot him - for being in love with himself posting endless selfies - or me, for not realizing I have been the mistress to his ego the past two years? Cassie and Daniel again offer their no bullshit advice (Because fuck your shitty advice, Abby). The discussion goes into the the role social media plays in today's relationships, and how shitty it feels for your significant other to not show you off. Daniel has experienced both ends of the spectrum; an ex who wanted to be very public about their relationship, and an ex that didn't want his mug on her facebook at all. Poor Daniel. In the end, it is all about balance. But here's some advice, if you are five years married, two kids in, and his facebook status says "single"- he is just not that into you. Just sayin' The show finishes up with a grasp for last minute show prep. Daniel revamps the ol’ game show “Match Game”, where he attempts to bring all the bachelors to the yard for Cassie, with all the reasons why Taurus's are fuckable, and dateble. Finally, a mystery guest is introduced, TotT’s new attempt at an intern maybe (‘cause that went so well last time!)? More to come . . .        
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TotTP Episode 053 – Cussin’, Fussin’, and Doin’ Dope
TotTP Episode 053 - Cussin', Fussin', and Doin' Dope       This week, after a delightful live pre-show that finds Daniel rescuing Kinky Cassie from the side of the road; and breaking the bad news of the absence of The Courtney 3000, the show FINALLY begins! To start the show, Cassie discusses her first bar hopping experience. Cheers to legal drinking! Daniel comments on how square he is for lack of legal drinking. No regrets here, he prefers cooling off in swanky Torrid dressing rooms instead, anyways. This story flows into how Daniel and Cassie cannot seem to stop stalking hot waitresses all over San Diego. Hide yo food handler card, ladies- they are coming for you! The best way to protect all waitresses . . . stop hiring cute ones! Also, don’t entertain folk who “lose” their glasses at restaurants. Looking at you, Cassie! The show then plunges into the deep end with some serious topics. Cassie finds a thoroughly disturbing video sure to leave everyone hugging, kissing, and cuddling their dolls/action figures. The Demon child video reminds us evil does in fact exist.     WARNING! Some fucked up shit is said by a five year old girl abusing her doll. The video will make you question the human race, most definitely the mother. But seriously, kids say messed up things.       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kADWtCV6Dc Get Your Life To-fuckin'-gether!         Daniel and  Cassie take on Contemporary Feminism and their whiny Social Justice Warriors - an act they could be drowned for by a herd of angry feminists. . . By they, I mean Daniel (Drowning  Cassie is incredibly sexist, you misogynist pricks!).  Despite the threat of backlash, our podcasters spread the knowledge by going over a list of commonly confused vocabulary words such as: “Manspreading” and “Mansplaining”. Essentially, men cannot stop shoving their dicks down everyone’s throat. The power of the penis compels you! Daniel continues to “mansplain’’ his thoughts on privilege. In his manifesto, he declares that people need to calm down and rise above humble beginnings to make something of themselves. Can we stop making each other feel guilty for circumstances we can’t control, and instead focus on making changes for the better? Fight for your rights and all.  Cassie begins to suspect a Libertarian rant coming on after Daniel rambles for a beat too long.         TotT Idol makes its first and only appearance when Daniel discovers a new rapper online sure to climb up the charts . . . with the help of Jesus of course.       https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpE7ayQIzkRdcBBgES1NFgSLAK0WiklWU Lyrical Lively Youtube Channel.       Dear Abby, I am a self-proclaimed fat girl and my boyfriend agreed I am fat. How can I get him to see I was in fact fishing for compliments, and he is an asshole for supporting my statement? Signed - Bigger Girl.       The duo decides to ignore whatever advice Abby offers, and divulge their own advice for unknown “bigger girl.” The advice is followed by an in-depth discussion on how to properly classify the body types of heavier set women, and various body types in general.  Things are made easier when they make up their own scale. Daniel and  Cassie discuss their hypothetical relationship. Whatever the status of their relationship,  Cassie should not expect flowers from Daniel on Valentine’s Day . . . Ever. Can’t give into the corporate greed. Unless she really wants them of course and if ladies do want them they need to be honest. Like certain exes should have been.  The duo restores our faith in humanity that was lost during demon child by discussing honesty. Also, sweaty sex ass and incense makes everything better.        
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TotTP Episode 052 – Sobbing Vagina
TotTP Episode 052 - Sobbing Vagina       This week we gather up our organizational skills to bring forth a better episode. Daniel has given up on online dating, but he still manages to find all the winners lingering in the sea of the dating world. These profiles are on fleek! After some awkward peeping Tom stories, the crew gets into some articles that will absolutely get your significant other to do the nasty with you . . . No doubt.    
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TotTP Episode 051 – Not a Riverbed, A Ditch
Episode 051 - Not a Riverbed, A Ditch       Quite honestly, the least prepared episode in TotT history. There was good food, though. We also learned quite a lot about our resident Kinky Cassie and her $300 adventures in the riverbed. There was also a bit about . . . shaving?   Don't forget to tell a friend, and hit the subscribe button.      
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TotTP Episode 050 – Caught Me a Squirtle
Episode 050 - Caught Me a Squirtle       Well, while the world is going crazy, trying to catch 'em all, the crew has serious matters to discuss; like the unspoken girl/man code. So many questions, so many opinions. What's the right way? What's the wrong way? So many questions, and we don't have the answers. Shit gets heartfelt when Cassie shares some real shit about herself and a problem she's faced for many years. Then . . . a discussion on . . . Milk? Nah, shut that down. Let's here Courtney 3000 tell some stories of her life of crime while incriminating every friend she has! Don't forget to tell a friend, and send any feedback to us via email, phone or social media.      
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TotTP Episode 049 – Good Riddance, Got Rid of THAT Guy
TotTP Episode 049 - Good Riddance, Got Rid of THAT Guy       This episode got a bit emotional. Daniel thanked Kinky Cassie and Courtney3000 from the bottom of his heart with a couple gifts. For Cassie, an adult Disney Princess coloring book. For Courtney, a graphic novel of classic novel, "Frankenstein". In our first year of podcasting, we've seen many great things transpire in our lives and in this big, wide world that we float in space on. Daniel addresses some of these issues. After the break, Daniel surprises the girls with a special treat . . . Mike returns to the show. We banter about what's new with Mike, bring up old wounds, and disclose Daniel's purpose as a podcaster. There have been many people that have made this podcast possible. We want to personally thank all of them. Long time listeners: Lance and Katie; Derek, Andrea, Daniel's brother Jason; Choo Choo Stu, Dori, and Dave. Of course, all the guests we've had. Sammi, Lauren, Erik Karma and Daisy, that one guy no one remembers, and our short-lived intern. There are a lot of podcasts that have propelled the show and helped us in our journey, thank you to: EHAPPodcast, FYFCast, Three is Comedy, Afterburn 739, Say What Podcast; and all the shows at #PodernFamily on Twitter. Thank you everyone for listening! Please don't forget to hit the "subscribe" button. Tell all of your friends, 'cause we want to grow the #TotTler army this next season.      
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TotTP Episode 048 – Lowkey Meth Den
Episode 048 - Lowkey Meth Den       On this week's show, Daniel poses the question "If the sex that lead to an accidental pregnancy not worth it, does that make the pregnancy not worth it. It is unanimously agreed that no, the pregnancy is then worthless; and so is the child. Sex shops can be weird. This is true, but when you show up at one -as Daniel did - and realize there's a lowkey meth den in the back, it can make your jerking experience a bit awkward. Some relationships are clearly just for sex, and we go into an article that describes how you know if a your relationship with a person is strictly sexual. Cassie let some of her kink out this last week when she let a guy convince her to take revealing photos and post them on the internet. So . . . look out for those. We play a game of would you rather, and learn that Courtney is one of the few in the world who is not ruled by the internet. Everybody has their own get down, and we at TotT understand that. So, when an article comes across the desks of TotT studio regarding porn with pregnant men and belly button worship; we are interested. What really came of this was a segment where the girls will watch a weird type of porn and review them; with the ultimate question: "Would you masturbate to it?" If you want to contribute to this bit, please send any suggestions to us, or use the hashtag "TotTWatchesPorn". Please don't forget we're gathering feedback. Take the questionnaire to air any of your grievances or make suggestions.    
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TotTP Episode 047 – Bitch For Jesus
Episode 047 - Bitch For Jesus       The whole clan is back together for this episode of the show. Cassie managed to get herself a fucked up tattoo which made her life less than stellar. Daniel wants to know: What is the etiquette on using gift cards on dates. After a brief discussion we learn that gift cards are not only thrifty and acceptable, but Daniel doesn't know what tacky means. This last week, the Courtney3000 had a less-than pleasant encounter with a creepy A/C repairman which reinforced the beauty of her own ass to her. After the break and a discussion on the effects of Icy-Hot, Daniel schools us all on the proper etiquette to engage in when using Uber. This is followed promptly by a discussion on weird things to do or say after sex. Finally, we dive into some listener mail. Listener Derek wants to know if it's weird that he has changed his views drastically and if he has. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. If you want to leave a message to the show, leave a comment or call us at (TOE) 546 - TotT.
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TotTP Episode 046 – My African American
TotTP Episode 046 - My African American       Due to unforeseen circumstances, Classy Cassie could not make it tonight. So, that means Daniel and Courtney3000 have to fly the ship without her. Daniel has gone back into the dating world, and he's learned a lot about himself. He's learned his pattern with dating sites, and he's trying to live past the usual patterns. One of these patterns he's trying to get away from are sending dick pics. Funny thing about dick pics is they don't have quite the same allure that pussy pics do. The crew read an article about the pitfalls of dick pics. Regardless of the angles, lighting, and setting, Courtney loves her some dick pics. In the end, Daniel is happy with his commitment. After the break, Courtney and Daniel indulge in some interesting beverages before talking about the state of the country. The number 2 rule of TotT is broken when they delve into politics and discuss Donald Trump, "his" African-American, and the brush with the KU Klux Klan. We learn that Daniel is a Libertarian (surprise surprise), and Courtney and Daniel decide that they are definitely eachother's "niggas" In closing, please check out the live episode of Everyone Has a Podcast that Daniel got to be a part of by clicking right here. Also, we still have the survey going for season 2 changes and general feedback. Please take a moment to fill it out. Loading...
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TotTP Episode 045 – Poppin’ Cherries
TotTP Episode 045 - Poppin' Cherries       In this episode, your favorite trio take Cassie's lead as she discusses stories of her past week involving political extremists. She is also faced with a conundrum where she has to decide between sushi or dick. Apparently, the seafood won out. In other news, the Courtney3000 in all her charm convinces Classy Cassie to watch a "horror" movie (which Daniel pointed out was actually a psychological thriller; but hey, who's gonna split hairs over such matters?); thus popping her cherry. The crew then discusses their views on supernatural matters and experiences they've had. After the break, we go a little bit lighter and discuss things in the news, Daniel shares his thoughts on ASL interpreters, and we read an article about things that could be fucking up you libido. You may be surprised what made the list. Also, vagina massages and Courtney's awkward happy ending encounter with a past client. If you've noticed, SoundCloud has not been updated. During the current changes, we are discussing the viability of keeping it. We will keep you posted. In the meantime, take this quiz and weigh in on how you feel about the changes.
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TotTP Episode 044 – ILY
TotTP Episode 044 - ILY       This week we start of with a healthy dose of blatant wishful thinking on Daniel's part. Courtney brings up crazy family stories about being in strip clubs with her dad; getting fingered by a family friend; and after a little coaxing, Daniel and Cassie join in with some embarrassing things about their families. The girls wish Daniel a very happy 24th birthday and make him feel the love. This week in news, among others, the crew discuses the impracticality of gays in space. Or on earth. Cassie pulls from her very small focus group, with the topic being bitches who flirt without intention to put out. Slutty cow cunts. Shit gets awkward for a minute when your favorite trio goes through the pros and cons of fucking friends. Daniel closes out the show with a tasty little morsel of listener mail. This week, we will not be having clips. We are currently making changes to the podcast. To submit feedback, please click here.
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TotTP Episode 043 – Way Too Deep
TotTP Episode 043 - Way Too Deep       WARNING The contents of this week's episode touch on some topics that may be offensive to most listeners. You have been warned! Hey TotTlers! We have missed you guys. During the last couple of weeks, we have undergone a few changes. Daniel has finally stopped slacking and has started to get his shit together. In this latest installment of your favorite podcast,  Classy Cassie and Courtney300 join Daniel again this week. We start it off nice and sweet and light, with some serenading by our very own Courtney3000. Then, we get down to business. As much as we do encourage feedback on this show, Daniel does discourage people who tune in specifically to be pissed off and then bitch about it. Seriously people, there are a lot of regular listeners who have actually followed the show since day one, and you are being very disrespectful barging in demanding that we change our views . . . Just sayin'. Cassie asks Courtney what she should do about a "mutual friend" who continues to turn down sex. Daniel explains the whole situation swimmingly. Daniel gets a bit sappy about the way the girls treat him when they gang up on him, and while he goes and cries into his overgrown bangs, the girls create a safe space for him. After the break, shit gets super - er - different. The conversation starts with the topic of whether or not some rape victims are actually asking for it, and then a whole pandora's box is opened when the topic of pedophile's comes up. This part of the show is not for the close-minded, nor is it for the blatantly ignorant.  We close out the show with some lighthearted listener mail from a long-time listener who asks a very peculiar question.   Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 042 – The Female Vagina
Episode 042 - The Female Vagina       Classy Cassie and 'The Courtney 3000"¹ join your favorite host on this week's episode. The girls are left feeling a bit queazy after Daniel tells a story about eating a chick out and not knowing if the sudden presence of blood was his mouth or her lady bits. *gag* Daniel asks Courtney and Cassie why they don't care for receiving oral sex. The reasons vary between the girls and Daniel reads off some specs from the interwebs. Hey TotTlers! Did you know you can make yogurt as well as beer from the female vagina?!  Also Cassie calls out the bullshit on the double standard of male and female oral sex reactions. Freemont St. piss, God goes to court and a dude cums on the sidewalk in this weeks news bit. So last week, The topic of fat girls game up and Cassie had some controversial views on the subject. A listener called the show and let the crew know that she strongly disagreed with Cassie's thoughts. There was a phone call, there were words and well, there was no clear winner. or was there? You be the judge. Daniel closes out the show with some more "things are a changing" bullcrap... Yeah, we'll see Daniel. ¹Not yet available in stores. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 041 – There’s No Kale in This Donut
Episode 041 - There's No Kale in This Donut       This week on Toe on the Trigger, Daniel  realizes he may be slightly racist. *GASP* Smelly Indian folk and a possibly underage Asian chick are just a part of his new Uber driving escapades. Also Daniel learns just how sad and lonely a person can get. Cassie points out how he is losing his "constant funny" because well, he's alone and therefore he has nothing to draw from. *whisks away a single tear* Cassie goes into some more of her broken pussy problems. She bought some tightening gel to stiffen up those pussy walls. She ran into a problem when her uh...hole getting a bit too snug. Daniel pulls out a gem from his plethora of voice recordings. "How come when it's a skinny girl, it's a nighty, and with a fat girl it's a moo moo...?" Cassie, schools Daniel with all of her fat girl knowledge. Also she hates how fat girls...just...exist. Go figure that shit out. Meanwhile, in Florida, bitches be getting fucking crazy! The show actually got mail! Holy Shit! A loyal listener named Shelby sent in a little venting letter. It was nice. "Guess the Episode Name" has become a regular thing, hence the epic title. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 040 – Blowjobs À La Carte
Episode 040 - Blowjobs À La Carte       Daniel starts off the show with some gnarly exotic beverages. The girls (that's right kids, Courtney is BACK!) are a bit cautious. "Strawberry and chemicals", "flat Pepsi" and "kind of rootbeer" are among the flavors. Yummy... Courtney has some general boyfriend drama... She gets a little braggy about her girlfriend attributes. There is even an infomercial to advertise her. The Courtney 3000! is now available in the Apple Store and Google Play. We delve into the topic of tilted and otherwise broken vaginas as the girls divulge the genital problems. Double penetration gets a new spin as the girls talk about their lady parts. Cassie resorts to Craigslist for a big black cock. Courtney agrees that white dudes just have disappointing penises. Cassie compares Daniel's cock to a plastic toothpick and at the same time, praises him for his girth. Also Cassie has super sketchy photography skills. Daniel goes to the hospital, (calm down ladies, he's okay) with our favorite burrito slut. While there, he encounters either a very ill woman or a Wookie giving birth. Also there was a cute nurse makin' eyes at your favorite funny man. Does she want him? You be the judge. After the break, Daniel gets slightly racist (unless you're not black, then it's probably fine). Courtney says he's clearly not interested so he should stop talking to his black beauty. Pretty dicks, squirter qualifications and Courtney's disability are touched on. The Grapefruit Blow Job is introduced and Daniel seems sorta horrified by it. Daniel tries out a brand new way to do the news...and...it may have flopped. We then discuss assplay and how the butthole is a foul and mysterious place. Cassie asks Courtney how old she has gone, and then she has to get real with her co-hosts. Before prematurely ending the show, Daniel remembers that there is listener mail from Randall in Florida (Meanwhile . . .) Randall wants to know if it's considered cheating if he gets head from another girl since his girlfriend won't "make with the head". Of course, the ladies have a lot of experience about blowjobs, but we're all taking our blow jobs à la carte these days. Some interesting news. iTunes sucks. Our feed is currently down. We're working on the fix; but Google Play Music is our saving grace. Check us out in the podcast section of Google Play Music. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 039 – A Huge Ego and Some Dry Skin
Episode 039 - A Huge Ego and Some Dry Skin       We start off the show with a slightly tired and horny Cassie. She goes into some more sexual escapades and realizes she can be a bit of a dick. Daniel and she discuss the post-orgasm break and the poor unfortunate souls talk about their new friends. NOT forever alone, after all! Daniel goes into a very exciting story about the saddest hand job he has ever received. Let's just say...he laughed, when he should have nut. Cassie talks about her love of the "uncut" ones, or was it "bootcut"? Daniel got fucked in the ass, metaphorically speaking of course, ain't no fuckin' homo shenanigans up in here! So, Daniel is misled to believe that he has been blackmailed into sending a large sum of money to a creepy, ill-spoken individual. Cassie follows up with her own super cool story about bestiality. *squeals with excitement* Meanwhile, in Florida, masturbation and loud music may induce feelings of rage. Daniel has an article about a chick who is literally allergic to herself. *laughs out loud* Cassie has an explanation though, perhaps she was raped...too hard?  Daniel relates this news story to his breakable ex-girlfriend and the show closes out with a fun new game called "Pick the Episode Title". So yeah, keep comin' back for that shit. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 038 – Bedding from Babes and Beyond
TotTP Episode 038 - Bedding from Babes and Beyond       This week on the show, Daniel and Cassie talk about the shitty weather and how Cassie's new "boy toy" is pulling the same shit she pulled on him. How's that karma taste, bitch? Daniel brings back some Christianese and Cassie is thoroughly ashamed. Daniel shares about his "Bedding from Babes and Beyond" collection and your favorite self-loathing host goes in depth about how horribly sad he is about the lack of friendship in his life. Feeling used and discarded from the "situationship" lady, he is quickly learning that he may be replaceable. On a positive note, Daniel gets to chill with an old coitus pal...or rapist...or burrito slut... Whatever you want to call her. So there's this dude in France who was jailed for sending a gun emoji to some sensitive AF bitch. Apparently, this is not the first time this has happened, like in other countries! What the hell, society? Cassie shares a personal story about sketchy ex-correspondence and Daniel eloquently concludes with "I DON"T FUCK WIT YOU!" Tinder is full of shit, go figure. There are shenanigans afoot as the ASStrological signs are studied for fucking Tinder pics. Eww. Guess what, they happen to be a bit off with the results, at least for these two. Remember that thing that Bacon guy was talking about? "Laughter for a Cure". Daniel and Cassie did indeed go to said event, hand in hand as siblings...? They felt old as all get out due to their lack of participation in mind-altering substances, but nonetheless they had a blast. Meanwhile in Florida, also in Australia, people are getting dumber by the second. Daniel decides that he is the new "Job". (Not as in "occupation". Read your goddamn Bibles children!) Daniel finds a gem of an article about diseases that legit ruin one's genitals. Cassie then shares a story about how sometimes, she just needs to touch her pussy. Cassie reads off some actual gold. Some people share what it's like to fuck their best friend. Of course she and Daniel relate to most of these stories. *Awwww gag* Daniel gets all hipster and elegant. Then he cries... That is all. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 037 – Forceful Finger Banging
Episode 037 - Forceful Finger Banging       The long awaited return of one of our favorited, raunchiest guests - drumroll please - Courtney! Yeah, that's right, she's back and she's awesome as always! Right out of the gate, we talk about man rape. Cassie is very squeamish about men being raped. Women being raped . . . not so much. We touch on whether or not drunk people can claim rape. In other news, Cassie finally sealed the deal with the guy she's been avoiding for over a year and a half. She must have ran out of excuses to not fuck him. He took it like a champ, bit the bullet and had some fun. Good for her! Sad Papaw had his party. People showed up and help to fund the scumbag grandkids. Daniel is still very perturbed by this. We let the guilt of our lack of family interaction get to us once more. Meanwhile, in Florida! A man swooped in and started fuckin' a chick who was having sex with a woman in a hotel room. The woman noticed "something had changed". Have you ever (For the men) woke up with morning wood and a willing (or unwilling) participant, and your body does not want to cooperate? The girls understand the woes of the men in their world who can sometimes have some issues. Sometimes chemistry in the body can be the biggest douchebag. As we've learned on recent episodes of TotT, there are some strange fetishes and things that people like. One article that Cassie found has to do with sex positions inspired by Disney movies. Your childhood may be slightly destroyed. Cassie has been trying to help her sister learn how to drive stick shift. The results have not been great up until recently when she told her to pretend the stick shift is her favorite cock. Now her sister drives like a seasoned pro! Good job to Cassie for making the best out of a what could have potentially been a dead end learning experience. Again, in Florida. A man had a bag of crack cocaine under his nutsack. He, of course says it was not his. Daniel admits to losing drugs in his undercarriage at one point. Domestic violence is a problem, especially when people are fighting with silverware and burritos, like a couple in - guess where - Florida who got in a heated fight in a parking lot with food and a fork. Gotta love America. Courtney poses the question "length or girth?" Of course, girth is much more loved among the girls, and they talk about sex stories, Daniel gets desperate with his old yearbooks. Courtney discusses her hatred toward kids. Daniel and Cassie lament on their diminished social life. Finally, Courtney closes it out with her sexual endeavors. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 036 – Sad Papaw
Episode 036 - Sad Papaw       BREAKING NEWS: Daniel is riding the Single Train hard and fast these days as he and his special lady have split and gone their separate ways. Daniel seems to be taking it well and is delving back deep into the depths of the pussy pails. Cassie questions his mental stability and asks if he feels as though he has wasted his time. This clingy bastard learns how hipster he truly is and comes to terms with his obscure interests. Your fucked up peeps talk about how jaded they have become from various relationship blunders and how staying friends with your ex is not a thing. Like at all. Daniel tells a story about how his sizable badonkadonk ruined a Mexican lady’s life. PaPaw gets a moment of lime light on the show and Daniel gets furious about his scumbag grandchildren, while Cassie makes plans to visit her elderly family members out of pure guilt. Shits getting’ crazy out in Massachusetts yo! Apparently some hooligans in one of America’s safest cities pulled up to some children and asked them to “spit some bars.”…  Cassie glows in the dark. That is all. Lose an inch of cock or get molested, which would you choose? To a young man in college, in a place unknown, the act of being sexually assaulted was less emotionally traumatic than the fact that he lost a little length as a baby when he was circumcised. Cassie shares an exciting article about male enhancements that are a bit…let’s say, FUCKING TERRIFYING. Daniel and Cassie talk about “throwaway bodies”, getting artsy fartsy with human canvasses and Daniel pitches his new project “On Point Bible”. Pack your diaper bags ladies and gentlemen, it’s about to get weird. Daniel reads some listener mail about a woman with a predicament. Her boyfriend of six years has these pictures of himself in baby gear. *Gasp* Cassie explains how this is the new fad and they come to the conclusion that the best solution to “Dating a Baby’s” problem is to talk to her beloved. You know, like an adult. Daniel decides to take control (calm down ladies) of this sedentary ship and revamp the whole kit and caboodle. So stay tuned for that shit, should be interesting Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 035 – The Best Stories Tend To Be True
TotTP Episode 035 -The Best Stories Tend To Be True       In this week's episode, Daniel has a guest on the show. The one, the only, Chris P. Bacon! Chris, who's off stage name is Riley, is a local comedian who has graciously volunteered his expertise in the funny things. Daniel and Cassie each share a drinking story and lets just say, it's a good thing they have put down the Devil's cum shot. Daniel grills his guest on how, where, and when he got into the comedy business and Riley gives Daniel some sage advice. The Pail's of Pussy Strategy makes a comeback as Daniel explains his woman wooing ways. Sir. Bacon is impressed. Outdated websites, miscarriage banter and Daniel's tear-jerking story about being raped by a woman are just a few things discussed. If you are in the San Diego area, you can check out the "Laughter for a Cure" event taking place on April 2, 2016 at the Til-Two Club on El Cajon Blvd. For more information about the Teddy Bear Cancer Foundation, click here to visit their website. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 034 – Dem Titties Are On Fleek
Episode 034 - Dem Titties Are On Fleek       Breaking News! Mike goes in for emergency surgery! Apparently that bothersome  "tumor" that had been growing on his kidney for the last 9 months is actually a human fetus! *Groan* *Gasp* *Faint* Needless to say, he was not able to make it to the studio. Fear not TotTlers! Casseh stepped in to save the day. Daniel and Cassie discuss proper pet names, and their spelling for the various stages of friendship and relationships. Pails of Pussy makes a small comeback and Daniel drops some mad truth about Cassie's Great Godfather (Adolf Hitler). Russian Lollipops and needy blowjob receivers are chit chatted about. Cassie explains her theory on serial killers vs. mass murderers, her basic bitch ways and Daniel goes into a survey on which states like which kind of porn. According to the attached map, Cassie is living in the wrong state. Incest is touched on (heh...heh...). Bitchy MILFs and dusty pocket pussies are discussed. Daniel shares about Life Alert and elevator deaths and Cassie decides she'd rather die of starvation because, at least she'll die skinny. Oh, and Daniel needs to drink more water. Like seriously. He is going to die. Daniel and Cassie talk about an Arizona woman who was recently charged with numerous counts of having too much fun. That's right folks, she was running a brothel. Apparently that's illegal and she faces some time in the slammer. Cassie shares a story about an ex-lover and his smelly watch, then the crew experience some technical difficulties and we here at Toe on the Trigger ask you, our literal reason for existing, if you have any messages for Mike. We will do our best to get them to him. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 033 – Dear Heavenly Drunk Uncle
TotTP Episode 033 - Dear Heavenly Drunk Uncle       *Asian guy and Daniel are riding an elevator* Asian Guy- "I went to a dog beach." Daniel- "Grocery shopping?" Unfortunately, Daniel shares that the above "thug life" response was only thought up in his head. Your favorite dudes switch gears and talk about  Mike's sketchy, blood-stained mattress and the adventure of moving it. Casseh chimes in with her story time involving some bomb oral sex, abruptly interrupted by an untimely miscarriage. What a cunty pussy. Daniel vents about click bait and misleading porn thumbnail names. Mike and Cassie discuss role play goals. The topic changes to "Deadpool" and Mike decides to take his little dude. Daniel impersonates God as a drunk uncle and Mike shares his thoughts on God's gender. You know, if God were like...real. Life in the 90's is discussed and Daniel pleads with Mike to give beepers a try. Mike declines, but agrees to settle on a HAM radio instead. New hobbies are important, after all. Cassie ends this week's episode with another story. This one is about her first bong experience. Let's just say, her drug of choice was cock, not the devil's lettuce. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 032 – Better Call . . . Someone
Episode 032 - Better Call  . . .  Someone       After a strange phone call from Mike, Daniel decides to make the episode work regardless of his absence. So, this episode is a compilation of some memories. There are times when you have to try something . . . different, and Mike may have found something that tickled his fancy. Mouth Rape Yoga, or getting head while the giver sleeps. This, he did to his ex-wife, and Shaft can definitely relate. [From Episode 016 - Mouth Rape Yoga] Daniel accidentally fed habeñeros in the breakfast for some disabled clients in the group home he worked for; apparently winning him the award for "Hitler of the Year". [From Episode 019 - Big Piece of Dough With a Pussy] Mike goes into a rant about lazy homeless people mooching off the system . . . even though they pay Mike's salary. [From Episode 015 - Bums Pay My Salary] Some women have a vagina like worn out shoes. This not okay. Also, talk about dating sites, including a site that you can swipe right or left on naked pictures. [From Episode 022 - C U Next Tuesday] Meanwhile, in Mike's Single Life, monogamy is the watchword, and Mike is laying all the smooth moves and smooth words on the ears his suitor. A new bit is introduced - "Name Daniel's Sex Persona" after a brief discussion about how Daniel talks like a black man during sex. [From Episode 011 - Los Nazis] Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 031 – Deadpool or Nah…?
TotTP Episode 031 - Deadpool or Nah...?       This week's episode starts off right with some technical difficulties and Cassie shares some worrisome "lack of period blood in her life" news. Mike talks about a recent hipster experience. Whilst listening to the slew of obscure band names flying off the tongues of drunken  toddlers, it hit him. Mike became uncomfortably aware of the fact that, when it comes to music appreciation, he does not fit into any specific genre. Cell phones, of the devil? Perhaps. The boys discuss their own struggles with dating and cellular devices and the stain it puts on relationships, both sexual and benign. Mike gets nerdy when the topic of the popular TV show Game of Thrones is brought up. Also, your favorite Mexican opens up about his ex wife's recent pregnancy and how she appears to be..."mimicking his relationship activities". Mike then goes on to confess that, while explaining an old-fashioned term to his son, he ended up calling said unborn one, a bastard. Daniel tells a little story about his "unhappily ever after" massage parlor day with Lauren. Including, a rather eager gentleman approaching him, being abruptly dismissed and then having a little, broken slave woman attend to his...uh...needs.  Sort of. Mike asks Daniel a loaded one, and receives a flowery response. He wants to know what kind of parent he is perceived as, because you see, Mike has a dilemma. Should he take his nine year old son to see the new superhero movie "Deadpool", or is it too risqué? Your hosts go on to chit chat about the MPAAs rating guidelines, followed by some irritated parent reviews of the "anti hero" film. Daniel tells Mike that he is just over thinking the whole situation. Episode Thirty One ends with some light conversation about the decision as old as time "over the fence or through the gate". Also Mike's verbage gets a bit sketchy when hes' talking to his son about...[insert masturbatory slang here].   Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 030 – Sorry, Not Sorry
TotTP Episode 030 - Sorry, Not Sorry       This show is meant to take the messed up things in life and make them funny. Regardless of potential fluffy feelings, your favorite podcasters want to make it clear that they are going to continue on with their mission to support equality by offending everyone, equally. Daniel and Mike, while usually on the same brain wave, have a disagreement on air. Apparently that nice lady they discussed last week has a very loyal grip of spies. Long story short, Daniel shares about how he was inadvertently approached and criticized for his. . . . blatant disregardful for the emotions of said totally sane woman. After some thought, Daniel decides that it is best to own up to his hurtful words and expresses his remorse. Mike on the other hand, does not feel at all uncomfortable with the outcome of his story time moment. And as a consensus, they agree. They are not sorry. Rest assured, pure evil does indeed seep from their pores. Shitty half time show banter and Monster truck rally  disappointment are discussed and Daniel gives Mike a special gift. The boys talk about "single" life and Mike divulges how moving to a new place and his separation from his ex-wife have brought on some depression. On the plus side, Mike is also working on a side gig. . .  a "beercast" coming soon... Casseh is probed by the dudes and she shares about her life as a Nazi Princess/Mime. This episode simmers out with some light conversation about when it is appropriate to venture outdoors in one's underwear and how Mike is a full fledged browser tab slut. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 029 – Psycho Batshit Whore
TotTP Episode 029 - Psycho Batshit Whore       Deep in the depths of the super secret ISIS base, your favorite, fearless hosts bring you more stories of just how fucked up life is. If you were one of the two extra special loyal listeners who watched the show live, good on you. If not, rest assured, there are no hard feelings. Mike starts off the show by admitting he indulged in a little liquid courage due to a mild case of paranoia and the thought of someone "lurking over him". So maybe "fearless" was too strong...? Daniel wants to know if he is in the wrong for asking  his ex to repay a two-year old loan. When said ex responds to him with severe snarkisim, Daniel feels less shitty about the whole thing. Mike goes into his personal "money loaning policy" and assures Daniel that he is doing just fine and that he probably shouldn't loan out money to ex girlfriends. *Gasp* Vulnerable chicks and used car dealerships are compared and the consensus is that the key to both, is the ability to play on their insecurities. Mike and Daniel talk about where they fall on the caste system and get engulfed in a discussion about cultural differences. Most importantly, the great "Hotdog/Weiny" debate is covered and Mike concludes that he is culturally ambiguous. Remember that story the dudes teased last episode? apparently Mike slept with a married woman and things...didn't turn out exactly "stellar". Moral of the story is, alcohol plus psycho equals batshit whore. sadly Mike realizes that friendship is now deader than a doornail, takes a page from Daniel's book, and brushes that shit right off. Incest, the show's evolved purpose and shitty TV shows are gnawed on for a bit and Daniel shares a little about his Special Lady friend and da da da da da... Episode Twenty Nine ends on the topic of political extremes and how annoying the people who hold them so dear, are. Make sure you check out the YouTube video of the episode. https://youtu.be/HvLyNPynYww Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 028 – Smells Like Welfare
TotTP Episode 028 - Smells Like Welfare       On this episode, the boys are joined by their friend, Cassie - real talkative this one. Right out of the gate, Daniel talks about about his shitty work party and his lack of motivation since hours have been cut. Though the gang were supposed to record the previous night, some plans came up and left Cassie with some pre-orgasm - or pre-coital - regret that left her and her intended partner thoroughly blueballed. Mike got some side work in the ghetto where after some racial profiling he left with not only a nice little pay increase, but a fresh perspective on the world around him. Daniel also got a fresh perspective experiencing a "double first": His first black girl and his first hooker. The experience was . . . Mediocre at best. Aside from the crying baby and the stinky, brown carpet; the girl was picky about her services. But hey, sixty bucks is sixty bucks, right? Is it racist to say that black people just make things funnier? We don't know and, quite frankly, we don't care. 'Cause it's true. Anywho, Mike buys some girl scout cookies out-of-season and wonders whether he can capitalize on the product. Who knows, it could be a sound business venture. While gallivanting around the "dark side" of the clear web recently, the crew ran into some dark YouTube videos. One of these (Which was, on a way lighter note than most of the ones they watched) videos was of a boy named "Kai the Hitchhiker". And, Kai is very interesting. Mike has been following his story and is anxious to see how the story unfolds. Get familiar with Kai, make him your spirit animal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEkwxSvPrvM After a long awaited email from a loyal listener, the question is raised "What does TotT have against paraplegics? As we're about to say "Not a damn thing, it becomes known that yet again Mike is stirrin' up trouble with the disabled community at his work. The culprit this time: Some uppity cripple with a complex. Mike has no problem puttin' this guy in his place. Be sure to check out the live show streaming on Saturday, January 30, at about 6:30 PSD.   Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 027 – Toolshed Dad
TotTP Episode 027 - Toolshed Dad       This week's episode features your two favorite hosts of all time. Which is a nice way of saying the guys didn't get a guest on the show. Daniel starts off with a story time moment. Once upon a time, there was a youngin' named Daniel. He and his buddies had a "special'" VHS they liked to call "The Chamber of Secrets", which was in fact, simply a porno. As the story proceeds, Daniel is left asking himself, "is that gay?". His "Cinnabon icing" goes flying...and well, you'll have to hear it to believe what happens. The guys discuss the age their innocence was swept away by the powerful tug of porn mags and Daniel proudly boasts "I was masturbating back in the three finger days.".  Both Daniel and Mike share other "sticky" stories and the general consensuses is that it's only gay when one of the guys gets an erection. Also, they discuss how dudes jerk off differently (less gnarled facial expressions) when they have an audience. Victoria chimes in with her two cents on the topic of "is that gay?" and is dismissed shortly after. Apparently she took the guys too seriously because no one has heard from her since. Mike confesses that he indeed tried to fuck her but she wouldn't put out. The boys agree that she was simply a phase and that she won't be missed. "She's like a PT Cruiser" The conversation takes a turn and the guys talk about lazy AF co-workers and shitty friends who forget to follow through with gift exchanges. Mike talks about his "first time" on the ice with his kids. Toolshed Fathers galore! Apparently, looking at your phone so much that you miss out on your kid falling over is not, "Father of the Year Award" material. Ending this week's episode, the guys tease an upcoming episode that will stream live on YouTube. Don't forget to tune in! (We'll have the date for that posted soon.)   Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 026 – Paranoic Despair
TotTP Episode 026 - Paranoic Despair       Back from the New Year and kicking it off right, Daniel, Mike, and Erik start right off with their talk of their New Years' festivities. Daniel's New Year's fun was a dual mixture of sheer sobriety and dabbling with drunkards. He discovered that being the only sober person playing a drinking game can not only get you funny looks, but also a bad tummy ache from copious amounts of orange soda. Erik did a literal house cleaning, taking care of some laundry and cleaning his room. How boring is that? Mike, on the other hand, had a fully-packed New Years' starting with shimmying a girl through his kitchen window, a pause for a vomit intermission, shooting off some guns; and ending with a penis pump that was later discovered to belong to Daniel at one point in time. https://youtu.be/xB9SyX_dhAE Dat Face, Doe!   Now, we rewind to a long time ago in a galaxy far far away . . . *crickets* Yeah, they talk about "Star Wars". All-in-all, the group decided it wasn't a complete turd, though Erik, the prequel lover's opinion doesn't count for much. Where the group felt it lacked in story and character, they felt it almost made up for in visual and audio elements. After the break, Mike tells about his experiences smoking the Devil's lettuce and being overcome with intense paranoia and existential crises. A feeling that Daniel knows he too would experience if he decided to again dabble in such shenanigans. In other news, Daniel has decided to take baby steps instead of resolutions - because, fuck labels. And, speaking of labels, him and his new "special lady" are going strong. He is amazed at how level-headed and  . . . Not crazy this one is. Though he's lost a third of his income, things aren't looking too bad for him. To end the show, Mike rants about change pockets and other atrocities, hopefully introducing a new bit to the show. Check out clips of the show here:  
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TotTP Episode 025 – A Very TotTler Christmas
TotTP Episode 025 - A Very ToTtler Christmas       Merry fuckin' Christmas to all the TotTlers out there. Right out of the gate, we kick it off with Erik "Shaft" Johnson and our returning guest Victoria Greyshaw; fresh from her mission trip to India. The game: White Elephant, the prizes: Victoria gets porno mags, Mike gets a nice - er -sex kit? Erik gets the Predator- a weapon of sorts straight from "The Men Who Stare at Goats   https://youtu.be/Sz8QC2Ng3Vs   - and a sad hobo clown with a fake violin. Finally, Daniel gets . . . "Toe Tunes"? Nope. He gets a stuffed dog and a Home Depot card which he later trades for the sad hobo clown - ahhhh, the free market.     After the break we dive into some Ghosts of Christmas past where we learn from Daniel the most gangster way to receive presents for the next 3 months; Victoria gets a strange gift to help with her . . . bad neck, and Mike kills Santa for his kids. To break the festivities, Mike has a "Thug Life" moment when he gets a little surprise from a girl he was knockin' boots with. Mike is so nutty . . . literally this time. In other news, Mike is pulling back on pussy, 'cause there's "just too much in his life", Erik declines to share, and Victoria is still a virgin. To close it out, we delve into Daniel's fucked up family relationships midway through the 10 worst things about Christmas, according to Buzzfeed. Check out the list here. This being our last show of the year, we want to thank you from the cockles of our hearts for all of your support these past 5 months. You've all been great. Please stay tuned in 2016 for more of our shenanigans! Please tell a friend and hit subscribe! If you have any ideas for the coming year, shoot us an email at takeashot@toeonthetrigger.com. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 024 – Triple Booking Pussy
TotTPEpisode 024 - Triple Booking Pussy       The boys reconvene. Alone this time, with no pussy to cloud their judgment. No real catastrophes to report except, you know, Mike's near death experience at work where the pain from Tuko knocks him literally on his ass with his dick in hand. What was his pain level? Well, we don't quite know. What is a 10? Who decides 1-10? Well, it must be subjective. So, tell us, Mike: What was your most painful experience. "Well," says Mike "Probably getting beat in the knee with my own workboot." Hmmmm . . . Well, that's . . . odd. On a happier, yet more confusing note, our boys try to piece together the complicated world of modern dating. Did you know there are, according to datereport.com, 9 different types of "pre-exclusive" relationships? Well, fuck, that makes classification a little harder. It also complicates the shit out of Daniel's neuroticism with his new . . . date? Oh yeah, did we mention, Daniel is "dating" someone? Yeah, something about "Lying Lauren" has Daniel all kinds of confused, but he's powering through the best he can. This new development couldn't have come at a worse time, 'cause Daniel has a "friend" flying in for the holidays, and he's worried about how his holiday fuckfest will pan out with his head in the pussy clouds about his new love interest. But, enough about that complicated, let's simplify: Mike's single life. Synopsis: It's raining pussy in this bitch! The simple solution: Soak in the rain. Mike's solution: Make a calendar and triple book chicks. Great thinkin' boys, you've really done it now. Finally, Daniel breaks down his intense resentment against comedians with their own TV shows. He's done having exestential crisises over shows pretending to be funny. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 023 – Accidental Blumpkins
TotTP Episode 023 - Accidental Blumpkins       With the massive success of the the last episode, the boys decide to bring in some more female perspective to spice up the show. This time, massage expert, Courtney is joining the studio. She instantly made herself at home by sitting in Mike's spot, throwing off his podcasting game. Daniel instantly poses his burning question to Courtney: Are happy endings a thing? They are not. But, it is not abnormal for men to have a boner during sensual rubdowns. It is, however, unusual for men to expect or even ask for a happy ending. This is news to Daniel. Tuko the Tumor is not letting up, and investigative journalist Mike Morado goes on the field to discover the exact location and seriousness of his own lovely lump. All to no avail. The procedure is botched when the doctor tells him his dickhole is  . . . way too tight. Good for you, Mike. https://youtu.be/zfTrIgxUH5w When it comes to taking virginities, Courtney is your girl. Unfortuneately, she is also very unfortunate in the fact that she is always cursed by guys with - er - subpar members. But, where she lacks in dick picking, she makes up for in sexual adventure. One such adventure involves giving a blumpkin to an ex-boyfriend, all without her knowledge. We can't tell who's the bigger savage, Courtney or the ballsy boyfriend. *BREAKING NEWS* Mike is single! That's right ladies, eat your heart out, 'cause the magnificent Mike is back on the market and he's filling up buckets now. His buckets are barren and he's filling them with pussy that came into his life during a period when he couldn't collect it. Mike's sweet boss read some of his show notes and may not have liked what she saw. Daniel sits in silence as Mike and Courtney bond over horror films, Courtney's tattoos and Mike's Mexican novella. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 022 – C U Next Tuesday
TotTP Episode 022 - C U Next Tuesday       After a false start, we do a retake . . . and here we are . . . Ready to Rock 'N Roll. Special guest, Lauren is on the show. She is Daniel's hairdresser. She is, by far the dirtiest hairdresser in the land (Which is probably why Daniel seems to have a proclivity for this one). This Lauren has done lots of cool sexual things, including, but not limited to ripping foreskins with her asshole and her vagina! Impressive? We thought so, too. Daniel uses this opportunity to exploit female knowledge of the PoPS. We learn how it differs, and how women get what they want whenever they want it by using fuck me eyes and other devilish techniques. This makes Daniel very bitter. Daniel uses a very on par analogy of starving through the winter to explain the double standard of women getting laid vs. men getting laid. The boys learn about women and the woman learns about boys, but all-in-all we learn that both yearn for sex in the exact same way. Lauren tells about things that guys do that we may not realize; like cumming too quickly and having stinky undercarriages. The interwebz has many pieces of useful - and not so useful- advice. Mike found the latter. An article about why women should not have anal sex. Mutual overall disagreement throughout the crew. Finally, the discussion gets deep as Daniel starts to talk about how relationships can get out of control. There are rules that need to be followed; especially when fucking someone who's married. Overall, we cover a lot of great information from both sides. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 021 – Show Prep or GTFO
TotTP Episode 021 - Show Prep or GTFO       Special Thanksgiving episode. Recap on the day's events. Daniel started his day with badass music, while Mike helped his build his Youtube channel (Links to come). A lot of gratitude is spread about being able to spend the holiday with close friends. The topic of "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" spurs a conversation about how Mike met his ex-wife and how they got together. it is learned that Mike held off getting laid for 8 months while he "courted" her. Oh have things changed. All-in-all Mike got some kids out of the deal, so things ended well. Abrupt change of pace as Mike faces a moral conundrum. He sees a "Person You may Know" on Facebook. A hot person, indeed. Mutual friends . . . All family. Come to find out, it's his cousin. His transgendered cousin. Daniel feels the rejection hard from the girl mentioned in "Netflix and Go Fuck Yourself", and now another girl has rejected him. Her basis: The Vegas blowjob from "Mike Wears Himself" She couldn't have a "romantic relationship" with somebody who could do that. So, needless to say, the show has cockblocked him. In the world of Tinder, a girl begs for money, and when Daniel can't cough up the right amount, the shallow bitch says "don't bother". The problem with doing the show with no prep, is there's no structure, and no real topics, so Daniel and Mike continue to stumble through pulling out such topics as future videos, collaboration with Karma, and even bashing their small fanbase. Big shoutout to Dio92105 for following us on YouTube. Even though your channel is really weird. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 020 – Netflix and Go Fuck Yourself
TotTP Episode 020 - Netflix and Go Fuck Yourself       Due to the recent, overwhelming testosterone levels; we decided to throw some taco meat onto our sausage salad. We invite cam models Daisy and Karma onto the show. Daisy and Karma do a cam show, usually once a week on chaturbate.com, where they do various things for their loyal fans including BDSM. On chaturbate, models do various things based on "tipping activity" by the various viewers. The tasks they do depend upon the generosity of their tippers. This can range from specific, single tasks to a full on build-your-burger combo. Non-tippers are referred to as "greys" - Daniel is a Grey, and proud of it. The girls explain how they send various things to men, including panties, used dildos, and even phone numbers to high rollers. Out of their excursions, the girls have broken vibratrors, broken butt cucumbers, and vigorous "dildo pooping" in the arsenal of weird shenanigans that they've gotten themselves into. The discussion is then turned to the actual lifestyle of BDSM. The emotional and physical aspects involved and the different roles that peo[ple play in the lifestyle. The moral of the story is: Be who you are sexually, even if you're a non-panty sniffing panty sniffer like Mike. The girls can be found at their site When we return from the break, we ask the questions "Why do white people get the privlege of dying sooner?" and how long will Mike live with his immortal family history? Will he live with dimentia for 25 years, eating refried beans mixed with Diet Coke? Only time will tell. If Mike follows the white trend of retiring, he may give his body permission to die and break the brown people curse of long, treacherous life. Meanwhile, in Daniel's life . . . His PoP is severely falling apart. And, right when he thinks things are going his way, he gets blown . . . off. A girl he was moving in on, left him with his cock in his hand; or, at least a picture of his cock, rock hard on her phone in a sick game of "Netflix and Go Fuck Yourself He did try to be a gentlemen, and he got completely blown off. It just goes to show that Netflix and chill may be the only way. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 019 – Big Piece of Dough With A Pussy
TotTP Episode 019 - Big Piece of Dough With A Pussy       The episode starts off with just Mike and Daniel; when midway through, Erik calls and gets his foot in the door on the show, halfway through. Thoughts, prayers, and good vibes go out to the most "brutal" terrorist attack in a significant amount of time. Daniel has had enough of the social nonsense behind all of this bullshit. Topics from a hat: Mike finds little pieces of paper with ideas for possible show topics. In these ideas, Ms. Miley Cyrus goes nude for a magazine, and Daniel approves of the slightly hairy bush and her cute little titties. Also, a woman who gets turned on my Mike's snot rockets. Daniel wanted to address Mike's terrible day that he had the previous week. The week he updated all of Facebook the saga of his truck and it's stubbornness to the journey. Weird sex stories.: Daniel has an awkward sex experience with a chick he's pretty sure is autistic. It is one of the most awkward lays that he has. Erik tops it off with a story about a girl who has a little bit too much love for good ol' Dad. Daniel accidently fed habeñeros in the breakfast for some disabled clients in the group home he worked for; apparently winning him the award for "Hitler of the Year". Thanksgiving talk. Cheap Thanksgiving dinner, Daniel's awkward Thanksgiving invitation. In single life. Mike is getting in some trouble for having pussy on the mind a lot. Girls have been giving Mike a lot more attention since he's "unattainable" Also, Daniel is getting a little too aggressive in his PoPS, using absolutely no strategy to allocate women into the "1" position. The girl formerly known as psycho bitch is back . . . being a total tease. Check out clips of the show here:  
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TotTP Episode 018 – John the Stutterer
TotTP Episode 018 - John the Stutterer       Why weren't we here last week? Well, Mike had a partial midlife crisis. Shit is getting rough for him. Being 30 is not what it's cracked up to be. After passing out by a dumpster, Mike regains consciousness and continues through life. Discussions about sketchy horses and just shitty pets in general. Also, impressive camel toes. Why can't kids lose anymore? Sometimes losing is good for people, and society refusing to let kids lose is the downfall of society. We weigh in on that. We go over fucked up videos from within Mike's phone. Including John the Stutterer, an awkward bloke with a special speech pattern, lookin' so British. http://i.muchosucko.com/production/asset/url/069/266/Hi-IImIIIaaahIm-John-Stutter.mp4 Finally, what is Mike going to do in the teenage years with his kids? Check out clips of the show here:  
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TotTP Episode 017 – Known Mammal Squisher
TotTP Episode 017 - Known Mammal Squisher       Though we're late, we start without missing a beat. Erik "Shaft" Johnson joins us once more and we start out with . . . The "N" word. It has been decided that we are allowed to use it because of Mike's brown complexion. The bug problem at Mike's house has gone away. And, speaking of bugs, in Mike's phone, we have some interesting tabs open in Mike's browser. Including, but not limited to: Crush fetish, or, the fetish with women stepping on animals. This delves into a discussion on dark browsing of the internet, the days of Limewire and the horrors of dial-up. Erik's neighbor is givin' him a fuckin' rash. He's kind of a prick. In fact, we all have pricks in or lives. Mike tells stories of the shadiest street in our little town. How old is too old when it comes too fuckin' older ladies? Mike picked the fight that he promised, and got naked, as promised. It went . . .well? Mike's parenting advice: What if his boy wanted to go to school dressed like a princess? Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 016 – Mouth Rape Yoga
TotTP Episode 016 - Mouth Rape Yoga       Bad Luck Erik "Shaft" Johnson (A.K.A. Lemony Snicket) returns to the show with some small pieces of his bad luck life. Of course, Mike is having some problems of his own; what with his soon-to-be ex-wife "selling" their about to be repossessed car to a shady "ethnic" man, the blood in his urine, and his new fix-me-up truck; he can hardly catch a break himself. Daniel's eye injury is getting out of control. It has been determined that either one of his lady friends let off some flatulence in his eye, or someone let off their baby goo. Either way, his eye is fucked up and he went to the emergency room. Whether or not it was, in fact, an emergency, is to be determined by Mike. There are times when you have to try something . . . different, and Mike may have found something that tickled his fancy. Mouth Rape Yoga, or getting head while the giver sleeps.This, he did to his ex-wife, and Shaft can definitely relate. In relationship news, Mike learns a new technique to deal with future fights with former host Heather "Nugget" LePage. The act of fighting naked. Makes sense, right. Mike's parenting tip of the week,: Let them cry. Don't coddle them when they cry and don't support the instant gratification generation's way of running to a kid's rescue as soon as a cry is let out of their cute little faces. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 015 – Bums Pay My Salary
TotTP Episode 015 - Bums Pay My Salary       After a rip roarin', and somewhat dangerous trip to TotT studio, Mike makes it in the newly christened "TotT Mobile" to begin various rants about things people say and the laziness of the local homeless folk. Autumn is upon us, which can only mean one thing: Basic Bitch season. That's right, break out the Uggs and Pumpkin Spice lattes, 'cause the basic bitches are rollin' hard; much to the annoyance of their hipster counterparts. The verdict from the boys: Stay balanced and be yourself. Of the things Mike has been perturbed about, "going to an all black school" is up on the list this week. What does it mean to be racist? Is not doing something not to offend someone's race just as racist as doing something? There's a question. In single life news, Mike's relationship is a lot less bumpy than it used to be, and arguments are becoming a lot more mild. Basically, relationship bliss compared to Daniel's lonely single life. Daniel is struggling with a possible sex addiction that has him seeking out sex in low low places and questioning his own rational abilities to say no without masturbation as his cage. The show is wrapped up with a rant about lazy bums mooching off the system . . . even though they pay Mike's salary.   Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 014 – Slave Lives Matter
TotTP Episode 014 - Slave Lives Matter       Special Guest Heather "Nugget" LePage rejoins us for Episode 014. Daniel managed to stay out of trouble on his trip to Vegas this weekend. No magic-handed Asian trouble for Daniel this time around. But his frustrations are not quelled while dealing with his big brothers temper tantrums. Fortunately, The Beatles "Love" show was mesmerizing and incited tears. Mike gets a "new" truck. Well . . . New to him. It's kind of beat up, but it's his, and he loves it; brown, rust coloration and all. The list of problems are extensive, but bring on a sense of oiptimism for Mike. It is definitely the new TotT Mobile. Why do people feel the need to keep a balance sheet of favors? This is a topic that is spurred. It is determined that the willingness to do favors is different depending on the relationship and the depth. We are then baffled by people who walk around in sheer, blissful ignorance. Heather is a part of a "great cause". She is doing crossfit for the cause of human trafficking. What does human trafficking even look like? What would you walk for? In "Mike's Not-so-single Life", Heather denies Mike like Peter denied Jesus. Super harsh. She gets super aggravated. Why? We'll never know. But, situation's are normal for them: Stable-ish. What will be the status next week? To end the show, Mike imparts his fatherly wisdom on the listeners, and drops some pretty hefty nuggets of advice on how to raised, some pretty badass children.   Check out clips of the show here:  
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TotTP Episode 013 – Doin’ the Bambi
TotTP Episode 013 - Doin' the Bambi       After a postponed episode, Mike divulges the real reason he couldn't make it to record last night. The truth, he just wasn't feelin' it. He was having "Fuck it" moments at work that lead to a downward spiral in his entire psyche. He was having the kind of day that just kind of makes you want to rip out your own colon! Good thing he had his crew to cheer him up, though. They managed to make some content. Make sure to check out the YouTube video as to what they did instead of the show last night. https://youtu.be/jCkpGu9_Tos Next on the agenda, the man who disemboweled his own girlfriend for saying her husband's name during sex. What would you do? Then, on Toe on the Trigger Nightly News, Selfie Madness: People all over the world are dying of dangerous selfies. Including, shooting themselves to show off, being gored by wild animals, and falling off of national monuments. Just goes to show what exactly the world is coming to.     Next, a Shout out to Lance for throwing in his article about "Pig Play" - The sexual act of exchanging bodily fluids. Followed by Mike's great porn collection and fantasies - a segment that may have scarred, yet taught Victoria a lot more than she could handle. In Single Life News: Daniel is alone in the single world as Mike tries once again to live life as an honest man. This is depressing to Daniel who is starting to feel like there may be more in this world than his lonesome little bubble. Also, we are going to be a part of the Wicked Radio Network . . . Whatever that means, so stay tuned for that. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 012 - The Girl Formerly Known as Psycho Bitch
TotTP Episode 012 - The Girl Formerly Known as Psycho Bitch       After a brief discussion about black girl fantasies, the crew starts talkin' business. They went to go see "Black Mass"  during the week. Mike uses his film buff eye to dissect the movie, while Daniel just sat, simply absorbing media like a 21st Century Sponge. A fairly long review with a grip of spoilers. Over the week, Mike lost one of his offspring to the school district transportation department. This, of course isn't the first time he's lost a kid. There are some fairly good parenting tips embedded here. At Daniel's job (Not in customer service), Daniel gets his rocks off by fuckin' with his boss.  This includes a big box of peanuts and four diet root beers. Then . . . The single life. It seems that the single life has switched over to Daniel. He's had quite a week, involving the "girl formerly known as Psycho Bitch", and a very questionable set of genitals. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 011 – Los Nazis
TotTP Episode 011 - Los Nazis       The trip to Venice went off without a hitch; and aside from Daniel's massive sunburn, they had a pretty good time. The sun was high, and so were the people, as Daniel, Mike, and former host Nugget made the trek to Venice, California in the pursuit for a fun Labor Day.       Mike again finds himself battling society when a post-9/11 facebook conversation goes awry. Though he lies to a stranger, making her question her own morals, Mike still comes out victorious - in his own mind. In other news, Mike shot off a firearm, while screaming like a banshee in the middle of the road to scare off loveable troublemaker "Hank." It's amazing what people will do when in the company of their friends. Daniel learned a bit about himself while getting a haircut this week. Aside from not liking the way he looks, he also learned that he has a thing for chicks in semi-professional, mostly permanent service industries. He's been utilizing the POP Strategy all over the damn place. At the hair salon, at the dentist office, and at restaurants, wooing moonwalking dental assistants and young hairdressers from all over the fair city. The dry spells are being broken as Daniel shares about his late night trip out of town to get laid, where his underused prostate gets the sting it deserves. Meanwhile, in Mike's Single Life, monogomy is the watchword, and Mike is laying all the smooth moves and smooth words on the ears of his suitor. A new bit is introduced - "Name Daniel's Sex Persona" after a brief discussion about how Daniel talks like a black man during sex.   Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 010 – We Don’t Want Justice, We Want Answers
TotTP Episode 010 - We Don't Want Justice, We Want Answers       Mike brings in his special guest Sethrick . . . or is it Victor? We don't fuckin' know anymore. He's a local boy who just moved into a city where the people smell like shit and the law enforcement are nowhere to be seen. Mike went to Hollywood this past week and visited the Museum of Death, where he learned a lot about serial killers. Did you know the Black Dahlia's asshole was agape when they found her? Interesting stuff, indeed. The Holy Spirit comes over him as he screams at Asian Catholics in tongues. On a busy Saturday doing "Customer Service" Mike manages to offend, yet school, another member of the - er . . . mentally handicapped community. "Special people" just want to be treated with respect. So, apparently there is a market for women who want eggs injected inside of them, and there is a solution to the absence of products in this market. We explore the "Splorch", a sex toy known as an ovipositor that injects eggs into any orifice. The eggs can be gelatin https://youtu.be/wkfFZnK5W9s or even alcohol-filled jell-o shots. Bill Cosby approves. https://youtu.be/Mzqae0_TeRw My unborn Children are delicious! The continuing saga of Mike's single life: Mike had sex, but it was different than usual. He wants to see a therapist to help him with relationships. It has become known that sex causes problems and cheating is bad. Check out clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 009 – [Insert Mike Reference Here]
TotTP Episode 009 - [Insert Mike Reference Here]       Mike goes to the land of free weed and weird Mountain people: Colorado. Before he even makes it out of the airport, he manages to scare people with a drop of the "b-bomb", worry an Indian security and stalk a brother of brown skin persuasion. Once out of the airport, he waits -as a pedestrian - in a line specifically for cars. Once that was out of the way, he managed to enjoy the rest of his time in Colorado eating shitty Mexican food, painting shady sex shop toilet bowls a nice shade of brown, and looking for mysterious mountain dwellers. Video footage to come soon. While Mike was out, eating at Mexican Chuck E. Cheese's and looking for dangerous bears, Daniel was back at home, getting strange compliments and weird vibes from a Jersey Shore cast member at a car dealership. #GymTanLaundry On the bright side, he came up on a nice ride. Speaking of a nice ride, Victoria Greyshaw, TotT's new "intern" is sure in for a nice ride. She's the new Assistant Producer interning from the local college to get some "experience" working in "media technology". Too bad she has no idea what she got herself into. Though she has proven that she may want to be a real TotTler, she has a long, long journey ahead of her. Welcome to the crew Victoria. Then, we return to the "Pails of Pussy" (PoP) Strategy as Daniel moves a girl aggressively from deep wiithin Pop #3c to the forefront of PoP #1a. One of his current - er projects - was leaving, and Daniel predicted the market to be quite volatile. His strategy: Woo her with Starbucks and a cute little card. Did it work? Only time will tell. Meanwhile in Mike's world, The previous episode of TotT has brought girls asking him " What Pail am I in?" What a question to answer for a man who is devoting his new life journey to emptying all his Pails and working on himself. That's right ladies, Mike is off the market and Daniel is very surprised at how he is handling his newfound singlehood. He is very very horny though. Our boys may be growing up as they talk a little bit about their experiences with learning who they truly are. Check out clips of the episode here:
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TotTP Episode 008 – Sex Nuts and Retard Strong
TotTP Episode 008 - Sex Nuts and Retard Strong       Tonight we introduce our friend Erik "Shaft" Johnson. First ever guys only episode. Mike brought in some more soda to test out and discovers that Cheerwine is just a ruse to get you to drink plain ol' Cherry soda . . . A ruse only if you don't read the label. Labels are important as Mike recounts his experience using massage oil with the tender regions on the body. There is some recap on Mike's single life. The newest girl in his world is a little nuts, talkin' "popcorn and glue" and all kinds of crazy medicated shit. We then delve into our past, toxic relationships, including Erik's ex-girlfriend and Mike's ex-wife who has caused him to revisit his kidney tumor and Hector the hemorroid. Followed by the mention of this bad boy. Next, Daniel breaks down the age old secret of the "Pussy Bucket Strategy" where the women in your life are allocated into short, medium and long-term buckets to keep the flow of pussy ever-present. Then we talk briefly on guys doing dick measuring when trying to win the same women. We discuss the biggest dicks in Hollywood, and wrap it up with a man with Sex Nuts and Retard Strong. Listen to clips of the show here:
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TotTP Episode 007 – Exes Are Forever
TotTP Episode 007 - Exes are Forever         After a lonesome start, Mike joins in the show with his "special" guest, Heather "Nugget" LePage. After inquiry about their current status, Mike explains that Nugget and him are being "friendly" and that after a deep discussion they decided to get each other's names tattooed on themselves. Thank God for 24 hour tattoo parlors. https://youtu.be/8t6KKrAAPEY   Daniel has his own awkward, Mikeesque moment. He puts his foot in his mouth thinking that former guest host Samii had the hots for him, only to find that he was sadly mistaken. In the news: Kids paint colostomy bags to remove the stigma that comes with them.. Man racks up crazy online sex bill on the company credit. Freedom of speech wins again after a kid tweets two words. Christian dies emulating Jesus. Nugget takes a trip to get a pedicure and spews her racism all over us. China explosion. Daniel vents his frustration toward his coworker. Mike's single life saga continues. He's getting dishes done, cooking and all kinds of adult shit. He's using all the help he can get, including links he finds on Reddit about throw-together meals. Here clips of the show here:  
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TotTP Episode 006 – 13 is the New 30
TotTP Episode 006 - 13 is the New 30         Miss Samii Blair is back on and we plugged her Youtube Channel . . . Kind of. There are some changes with the loss of our co-host. We thank Nugget for her contribution as she goes her seperate way.  Mike and Daniel reflect about their lives as single men. It's hitting Mike a bit harder in this newest chapter in life. We discuss his life in the last 13 years with his wife and "overlapping" grey area. What his life will be like now as a single father. What do they want going forward? The dating world is wider with the wonderful dating site technologies. Listen in for tricks of the trade. Mike offended someone else this week. No more disabled people, just pregnant women. What else has Mike gotten into? He tells a tale of a simpler time, when mentally unstable, young girls ran into his arms and "liked" his every move. Finally, we give some handjob advice to TotTler Jessica. Shoutout to 3some Podcast and Say What Podcast. Be sure to check them out for the other days we aren't releasing a show. Listen to clips of the show:  
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TotTP Episode 005 – Dad’s Sweater
TotTP Episode 005 - Dad's Sweater       On this episode of TotT, we have a special guest . . . The wonderful "Samii" (Yes, that's two "i"s -Pretty edgy, I know). Her sole purpose, bring us phone calls. Phone calls for what exactly? Well, Mike wants to know "What is it about guys' butts that women like so much? Samii's alcoholic friends provide some good laughs as they teach Mike a thing or two about female attraction. When Mike lays down to sleep at night, many thoughts fill his mind as he listens to whale calls. I'm not sure if he stole them from the internet, but they are pretty entertaining. Who wouldv'e thought the podcast would cause drama in Daniel's life. Well, apparently some women like to throw fiery arrows. Daniel gives his continuing saga of his lucky, yet bullshit, lady problems.   Listen to clips of the show:    
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TotTP Episode 004 – Labia Confetti
TotTP Episode 004 - Labia Confetti       On this impromptu episode of TotT, Daniel asks the crew "Should I tell my mom about the podcast?". Mike poses the question "Are you still humping the American Dream?" which sparks a discussion on what exactly the American Dream means to us, and what we think it's turned into. At Mike's Customer Serv- oh wait, he's a "material processor at a California Certified buyback center for polyethylene terphphalate, alloy 3104-H19, and SiO2 (a.k.a Amorphous non-crystalline solids) - job; he encounters another awkward situation where he offends yet another special needs advocate. Mike also tells us of the valuable life lessons he's learned while working there. Nugget has yet another story where she walks into a bathroom incredibly unprepared and finds herself wetter than when she walked in . . . and not in a good way. It is disagreed upon whether or not wipes are a viable alternative to actual toilet paper; especially when the latter tends to leave labia confetti. Finally the show ends with Daniel whining about his lucky lady problems, where he is reminded that he is, indeed, getting laid afterall. Please, don't forget to like us, pass us around like dirty sluts to all your friends, and subscribe. And, if you look below, there's a space for comments, we'd love to hear from you. Check out individual clips here:  
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TotTP Episode 003 – Fuckin’ Obama: President of the United State of Washington D.C.
TotTP Episode 003 - Fuckin' Obama: President of the United State of Washington D.C.       On this Episode of TotT, Daniel gives his thoughts about hairy women, and Mike chimes in with how sexy he finds it. Mike gets unwanted house guests from "some cocksucker" this last week. Special reporter Heather LePage gives her compelling research on Assisted suicide and its continuing push in America and Canada. This spurs a discussion about the right for people to kill themselves for any reason. Mike puts his foot in his mouth on Facebook after inadvertently making fun of someone with special needs. The panic is too much for him after the hate mail flows in. A quiz as to which U.S. state is the most American teaches us just how much Ms. Nugget knows about her country. Fuck Obama! At Mike's "customer service" job, he meets a fellow abider.   The battle between Nugget and the porta-potty continues when she encounters brown widows (which, apparently are a thing) and more blue water.   Check out individual clips here:
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TotTP Episode 002 – The Crew Gets Racist and Homophobic
TotTP Episode 002 - The Crew Gets Racist and Homophobic       Have you ever had a neighbor - or been a neighbor - who had sex so loud it disturbed everyone around them? Daniel reads an article about some people in Switzerland with some very . . . horny neighbors. With the Supreme Court's ruling recently regarding marriage equality, opinions are heated on both sides. Daniel goes on a rant about State's rights while Nugget questions the existence of the Constitution. Meanwhile, in the presidential campaigns, Donald Trump says some things in the news that catches Mike's attention. This spurs a debate about what is and what is not okay to say. Needless to say, The TotT crew may now be labeled as racists and homophobes. With good cause? You decide. With the allotted time in TotT studio ticking away, a last minute discussion is spurred about weird sex acts. This kind of thing is just what we need to cool off. Listen to clips of the show here:
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TotT Episode 001 – Bald Centaur Amputees
TotTP Episode 001 - Bald Centaur Amputees         The first episode hurtle has been made, and we're just now recovering from what Mike unleashed upon us. So, now we continue on to episode - er - 2? Or is it 1? Naming conventions in podcasts are kind of weird. Anyway, this is our second go at it. In this episode, we delve briefly into a topic we have no business even talking about - The whole NAACP whatever it was; which teaches us to stay far away from current events . . . at least if we're unprepared. If you make it past that point, Mike goes in depth about his trip to the massage parlor; a trip he had mentioned going on in the first episode. The show is then finished off with some banter about asses and titties; Daniel reveals something he probably shouldn't about a fellow coworker, and Mike drops a piece of information about . . .   Whatever the fuck this thing is. Tune in to hear the discussion. Don't forget to share, like and subscribe. Listen to individual clips here:
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TotT Episode 000 – Mike Wears Himself
TotTP Episode 000- Mike Wears Himself       Thank you for tuning in to the first episode of "Toe on the Trigger" Podcast. We're all very excited to begin this journey. On this episode of TotT, we do very brief and vague introductions. We explain, the best we can the purpose of the podcast and what we hope to accomplish. Daniel's trip to Las Vegas sparks a discussion on massage parlours.   And then . . .   Out of nowhere, Mike reveals this . . . This shirt! Check out the rest of the episode to hear the shenanigans.   Don't forget to share, like and subscribe! Listen to individual clips of the show:  
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