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Category: Comedy
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Hank and Petra are podcasting from deep in the hills of Appalachia. We are laughing and talking about ourselves, our community, and the world in general. We like to think of ourselves as educated Hilljacks.

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Podcast Episode's:
HNT 208: Fetish Makeup. Stacy’s Mom. Bald Eagles. Just Say No To Cults. Overblessed?
I had a little fetish makeup show and tell. Kat Von D’s Fetish Holiday pallet is as entertaining as it is beautiful! We love the names! Available at Sephora. Ah, I had a moment of stunned silence listening to a friend’s mom make things real uncomfortable. Yikes! We watched baled eagles hunt and fish. Nature […]
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HNT 207: Hank and Petra Visit Prison. SETI. YouTube Makeup Meltdown. Tara Reed.
We are visiting local institutions and businesses, and this week we got to go to prison. It was a surprise for us. SETI scientists in West Virginia are uncovering some promising signals. The YouTube beauty community drama has kept me busy. And Tara Reed’s intoxicating interview got to us.
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HNT 206: Little Old Lady Brigade. Things That Make You Look Old. New #1 Album. Evicted Nazi. How Much is a Date?
The tariff on craft products and fabrics is gonna cause little old ladies to burn the country to the ground. Elastic waist pants are always a no once you’re no longer a toddler. A new and unsurprising all time best selling album. No one wanted this nazi. And how much does a date cost?
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HNT 205: Crutch. Sharp Objects. War on Everyone. Self Help. Painting. Hot Water Challenge.
Hank is scaring Chairman Meow to death clumping around on a crutch. He bruised his fat. WTF We’re engrossed in Sharp Objects. Hits close to home for me. War on Everyone is a great movie. Totally worth checking out! It’s a rewatch for us. I’m binging on self help right now, working my way to […]
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HNT 204: Soccer. Asthma? City Council. Crazy Politics. City Cat vs Country Cat. Huge Sarcophagus.
Hank has found something more boring than old Godzilla movies to sleep to: soccer. This story about a city council woman in Kansas is too crazy to spoil. https://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article214431419.html On this day in 1804 Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton dueled. July 11th. Or city cat is nothing like a country cat. And she did pee […]
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HNT 203: Las Vegas. Rice. Westworld. Jerry Springer. Japan’s Mascot. Saudi Arabia.
Petra went to Vegas and found a great slot machine. Does anyone else eat rice with milk and sugar? Westworld is amazing. Jerry Springer ends. Maybe he’ll run for president. Hank is supper obsessed with the World Cup Japanese Mascot, Ippie-Kun. Adorably so. And Saudi Arabian women may get the right to drive.
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HNT 202: Hillbilly Food, Truthful Obituary, Petra’s Mama Drama, HS Reunion Planning
Have you ever had soup beans and cornbread? Well, your missing out. I even give out my recipe. We found an obituary that prob gave a little too much info about the deceased. Petra has had a weird experience with her mom. Really weird. I am helping plan my 30 year High School reunion and […]
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HNT 201: Rock on the Range. Deadpool 2. Facebook Apologizes. Kicked off of Amazon. Halfbacks.
We saw Greta Van Fleet at Rock on the Range. They were fantastic. Check the youngun’s out. Deadpool 2 was exactly awesome. Spoilers! We loved it. Facebook is running I’m so sorry ads at the movies. Ok. I can’t imagine being kicked off Amazon. I’m terrified to send anything back now. And lots of northerners […]
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HNT 200: YouTube finds, Gardening With a Ghost, Warren Buffet, Greta Van Fleet
We made it to 200 episodes! Woo Hoo! Hank has been exploring YouTube. He has some homework for you. Petra has been gardening and she has a friend to keep her company while she does. Warren Buffet is Hank’s hero. He was watching the Berkshire Hathaway Annual Shareholder meeting like he was watching UK in […]
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HNT 199: Chairman Meow Update. Stan Lee. Muscular Men. Andre the Giant. Fleetwood Mac. Child Shaming.
Chairman Meow is better! No more playing find the cat pee. There have been multiple articles on Stan Lee’s situation. It sounds like financial elder abuse. According to science muscular men make rotten boyfriends. The Andre the Giant documentary is great. Watch it. Fleetwood Mac must have so much drama. What do our listeners think […]
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HNT 198: Poop Palace. Drivers License. Phubbing. The Push. Apple Pushes Back.
Chairman Meow’s saga continues. She got a brand new poopy palace, but somehow the intricacies of using a litter box are still eluding her. Oh, and she lets me know she’s not happy about feeling unwell or changing her diet. I got my drivers license. That may have been the worst picture ever. Are you […]
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HNT 197: Life Updates, Middle Age, Parents, Hank’s Surgery
Life is moving fast for us! We have a few updates on what we have been up to. We are middle age and I guess we are going to start having middle age problems. I suppose every phase of life will have its own unique set of challenges. Our parents are getting older and it’s […]
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HNT 196: Montana, Cloning, Shadowhand
Hank just got back from a Montana ski trip. He also visited Yellowstone. It’s a very interesting place. Barbara Streisand has had her dog cloned. Twice. This will be an issue that our society will have to deal with someday soon. Shadowhand has been a long time listener. She let us know that we are […]
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HNT 195: Olympics, The Godfather, Everyday Lies, Old School Country Music, New Emojis
The Olympics are not quite as exciting as they were when we were kids. I feel sorry that today’s kids missed that experience. The Godfather Part 1 is one of the best movies I have ever seen and it holds up very well over time. I am not alone in this opinion. Let’s get our […]
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HNT 194: Guys Only Ski Trip, Fancy Restaurant Etiquette, 1984 The Musical!
Hank has been on a guys trip. Nothing like meeting new people to make you appreciate your own life. Petra found an article about what NOT to do in a fancy restaurant. Whoever adapted 1984 as a play was either an idiot, our our local Theatre Troupe are idiots. We are not sure which is […]
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HNT 193: Momma Stories, Hawaii Scare, Technology Sucks, WVU Basketball
Petra visited her mom. That always produces some fun stories We are living in a crazy time. There are daily weird stories that should scare us all to death. We had a mass false nuclear missile launch warning that lasted 38 minutes! Technology sucks. At least a lot of it does. WVU has a killer […]
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HNT 192: It’s Cold! Texting. A Wet Lab. House Slippers. Federal Pot Crack Down. Top 20 TV Shows of All Time.
Where ever you are, it’s COLD! We are about to hibernate. Hank wants to know why people can’t just answer texts. Because a renter didn’t—we had one very wet lab to clean up. We got super nice house slippers from my mom for Christmas. Little Old Man Slippers. What’s with the federal crack down now […]
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HNT 191: Star Wars, Xmas Traditions, UFO ID Program, New Asteroid Discovery,
I have some word choice issues! I think I was still recovering from Hank’s Family Christmas. Spoiler Alert!!! We both LIKED Star Wars The Last Jedi. We can’t help but spoil some of it in our discussion. The Pentagon had a top secret UFO investigating department only a few years ago! We hope they’re investigating […]
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HNT 190: Hillbilly Moon Explosion, Text Messaging, Welcome to Hell, Drunk Opossum, Dogs vs Cats, Complex TV
Hank and I have had a lingering cold. The anniversary of the first text! We laugh because I had never texted before meeting Hank. http://abc7.com/technology/omg-its-the-25th-anniversary-of-the-text-message/2736062/ SNL delivers som sexual harassment humor with Welcome to Hell. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/saturday-night-live-snl-welcome-to-hell-skit_us_5a23fee8e4b03350e0b760bf A possum breaks into a Florida liquor store and ties one on. https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/12/03/Drunk-opossum-found-in-Florida-liquor-store/9161512333784/ Hank found an article to point […]
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HNT 189: Hollywood Allegations. Sephora Disaster. Justice League. Magic Sex Orb.
We talk about the allegations in Hollywood, Joss Whedon and Louis C.K. http://groknation.com/women/joss-whedon-cheating-whedons-work/ https://www.msn.com/en-us/entertainment/celebrity/louis-ck-on-sexual-misconduct-claims-these-stories-are-true/ar-BBEONlY?li=BBnb7Kz The disaster in Sephora! Parents, leave toddlers at home some. They don’t belong everywhere. https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/whats-hot/a-child-reportedly-destroyed-over-dollar1000-of-makeup-at-sephora-—-and-the-photos-are-horrific/ar-BBF3ALF?li=BBnb7Kz#image=1 Justice League gets two thumbs up from us. And everyone needs a magic sex orb. https://www.homedepot.com/p/Alsy-8-in-Color-Changing-LED-Glow-Ball-Lamp-19237-000/205208125 Sent from my iPad
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HNT 188: Coffee Naps, Sex Ed, Aliens?, Stranger Things 2, JFK Files
Petra has an article about a new way to nap. Hank is skeptical. What is the best age to have sex? Something weird flew past the Earth and scientist don’t know what it was or where it came from. These JFK files piss Hank off and weirds him out. Stranger Things 2 has been released […]
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HNT 187: Petra Visits Las Vegas, Oysters Rockefeller!
Petra recently went to Las Vegas with a girlfriend. She shares some stories. Petra had Oysters Rockefeller for the first and last time.
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HNT 186: Hank’s Ramblings. Read What You Sign! Million Dollar Ideas. Guys Trip.
Read any contract before you sign it! Read it all. Do you support a jerk worker? There needs to be a channel for Super Heroes. Hank will judge you. Hank had a memorable Guy Trip, and I’m glad he’s home in one piece.
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HNT 185: Fake News, Momma Drama, Old People and Millennials, One Hit Wonders, And Driving Through
There such a need for fact checking and so much fake news circulating that there’s a headline tab on MSN for fact checking! What’s wrong with us??? http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/factcheck Momma Drama has been tough this week. I feel so bad for her. Hank had a bad time talking with an old person, and that leads to […]
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HNT 184: The Eclipse, Building Clean Out, KC & The Sunshine Band, Game of Thrones
The Eclipse: Reminds us of the inner working of the universe. The universe is amazing and we are such a small part of it all. KC & The Sunshine Band: Had a great time seeing this classic band. Building Clean Out: I have been working like mad trying to cleanup a 100 year old building […]
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HNT 183: Country Food, Eclipse 2017 KY Style, Taylor Swift, Mean Girls
– I raided my dad’s garden. That is a great thing about being a Hillbilly – We have out of work coal miners protesting the galaxy – Petra may now be a Taylor Swift fan. – Freedom od speech ends where someone else right start.
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HNT 182: Frat Pic Nic, Smoking Hot Models, Made in America, Devil’s Outback
– Hank went to his old fraternity’s summer pic nic. – Is smoking in ads back in style? – Outback Steakhouse may be devil worshipers!
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HNT 181: West Virginia Critter Stories. Cheech and Chong. Locker Room. Peaches
Petra’s back home stories continue with critters this time, including the biggest mother F-IGN spider ever. Cheech the renter threw out Chong. Naked men in locker rooms? And Peaches for everyone.
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HNT 180: Petra’s Back, Journey, Fyre Festival, War on Everyone
– Petra is back! She has been away helping her mom. – Hank had a man date to the Journey concert. – We have a movie review for your. “War on Everyone” is currently on Netflix. – The Fyre Festival organizers are now being criminally charged for a variety of offenses.
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HNT 179: Best of Show: General Trius of Future Folk
Petra has had a death in the family. Her dad passed away unexpectedly and she has been staying with her mother to help her through this tough time. Petra’s mom lives about 4 hours away so we have not been able to put out an original show for a while. Thank you for your patience […]
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HNT 178: Kathy Griffin, 30 Songs That Turned 30, Tiger Woods, “Is it Funny”
Kathy Griffin posted a very controversial pic. Society did not collapse. The system is still working. Petra found a list of 30 songs that are 30 years old. Now I feel old. Tiger Woods is a damn mess. Get your act together son! Petra tells you some jokes to see how many knowins you have.
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HNT 177: Billboard Music Awards. Holding Hands. 80’s Beauty Trends. A Beauty Hack. NFL Celebration.
We play fashion police of the Billboard Music Awards. We haven’t even heard of some of the winners. And Cher won the show with her Icon award. Melania Trump is certainly smacking away Donald’s tiny hand. http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/05/22/melania_appears_to_slap_donald_trump_s_hand_away_video.html Here are some 80’s Beauty Trends making a come back this year! Honestly, some have never waned. http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/beauty/15-beauty-trends-from-the-1980s-making-a-comeback/ss-BByTnaj#image=1 […]
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HNT 176: Vampire Deer, Flip or Flop, Toxic People, Pyramid Marketing
We have a TON of deer in our area. Their has been a recent discovery about them that makes us nervous. These Flip or Flop people on HGTV are pissing me off! Plus we have our own local Flip and Flop. 10 type of toxic people you have to avoid at all cost. Friends who […]
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HNT 175: Hair Band Concert, Fyre Festival, Diets
Petra went to a hair band concert. Had a great time with some good stories. People who went to the Fyre Festival did not have such a great time. Our eating habits are all over the place lately. And, we have a correction. It’s Dr. Rhonda Patrick. Check her out. Very worthwhile info.
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HNT 174: Turkey Hunter. Sibling Visit. Daddy Issues.
Hank’s coworker is a surprisingly good shot. We visited Hank’s sister and watched horse races. Hank’s father visited. Hank needed a therapeutic rant.
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HNT 173: Korn’s New Bassist, United Airlines, SNL’s KY Skit, Superbad, Coal Mine Museum
Korn has a new bassist for their upcoming tour. A 12 year old kid! This kid is living a fantasy life here. United Airlines is just screwed for a very long time and they have totally done it to themselves. SNL did a skit involving President Trump and Kentuckians. It’s sobering to realize how the […]
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HNT 172: Random Thoughts. Journal. Sink. Slime Porn. Voicemail. School Stories.
Hank shares some random thoughts. He’s been keeping a journal, but I need to find mine. We got a new sink! And there’s a heck of a story behind it. Hank’s watching Japanese Slime Porn. If talk to text doesn’t understand you, enunciate! This voicemail is great in its awfulness. And we’ve got great school […]
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HNT 171: UK Loses, Daughters, Logan, Wall Builders, Martian Cows, Millennial Drivers
UK lost in the Elite 8. Damn it! We hung out with a family as weird as we are. Especially their daughter! The movie Logan is a new type of movie. It need it’s own genre. Guess who is gonna build the Mexican Wall? Best evidence yet of life on Mars. Millennials disappoint Hank yet […]
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HNT 170: Hank’s Feel Better Documentary. Renter Drama. Medicine. New Zealand. Flat Earthers. NCAA Drama.
Hank watched The Curse of the Man Who Sees UFO’s so he could feel better about himself. We’re going to meet with the jerk tenant we faced off with a few episodes ago. It could be interesting. I need some Impeachara! New Zealand is an interesting option for those Impeachara doesn’t help. Can you believe […]
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HNT 169: Nashville, Petra’s New Job, NCAA Tourney, Snake Escape
– We took a trip to Nashville to see UK play in the SEC tournament. Fun town. – Petra has started her new job. She had an interesting first day involving a dead body! – The NCAA tournament is happening now! It’s a great one of a kind sporting event. HANK LOVES IT! – There […]
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HNT 168: Oscars, Vitamins, Police Pranks
Oscars. Vitamins. Police Pranks. The Oscars were more exciting than usual this year! It was interesting to notice who the commercials were geared towards. But I missed the best part. Since we’re on a big healthy kick we talk about vitamins. The disturbing trend of using police to propose or prank someone doesn’t sit well […]
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HNT 167: We have an ASSHOLE for a renter!
The B52s are a group who has some old music worth checking out. We are dealing with a renter who is an ass of epic proportions! Apartment Complex rules.
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HNT 166: War of the Stars, Playboy, 2nd Date Woes, Mermaids, German National Anthem
What Have We Been Doing? The War Of The Stars. Playboy’s Back. Bill For a Date. Mermaid For Hire. German National Anthem. A rundown of what we’ve been put to. A great way to rewatch Star Wars. Completely entertaining! Sleazy Grandpa and artsy porn. Would you send a bill after a date? http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/love-sex/this-woman-was-sent-a-bill-for-refusing-a-second-date/ar-AAmZ1dG?li=BBnbcA0 A working […]
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HNT 165: Super Bowl Recap, Lady Gaga, Don’t Kink & Drink
– Petra watched the Super Bowl with me. Kinda. – Lady Gaga’s Halftime show review – No not mix excessive alcohol with your Kinky fetish.
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HNT 164: Website Woes, Asia, LSD, Trends to Stop
Our website has been down. The group Asia has had a bandmate die. MIcrodosing LSD is a thing now. Would you do that? Trends to get rid of for 2017
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HNT 163: Lexington KY, Superfoods, Martellus Bennett
Our Lexington Trip. Superfoods. Martellus Bennett. http://greatist.com/health/25-greatist-superfoods-and-why-theyre-super Why a bakery sent Martellus Bennett a cake with 'You're awesome' written on it
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HNT 162: Minimalism Documentary, Study on Wearing Makeup, Our Property Acquisition Project
What We’ve Been Up To! Minimalism. Should Woman Wear Makeup? We’ve had a busy couple of weeks! Bought some property, and I passed my state boards. We enjoyed a documentary on minimalism. I’m minimalist on some things, maximalist on others. Hank’s positively Spartan. And should women wear war-paint um makeup? I say YES to work, […]
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HNT 161: Mike Hamilton from Oniichan Games
Our guest is Mike Hamilton from Oniichan Games. He develops and sells original card games. There is a whole community of people making and creating unique games. Who knew? You can find his work at www.oniichangames.com
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HNT 160: Our Post Christmas Special!
We have a funny get together with Petra’s family.
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HNT 159: Birthday. Family Christmas. Music Soothes. Petra’s Embarrassed.
Birthday. Family Christmas. Music Soothes. Petra’s Embarrassed. Since it’s my birthday, let’s see how many ways we can embarrass me! Hank got me a couple of lottery tickets. I still haven’t scratched one off! We survived his family Christmas. I came out mostly unscathed. Hank wasn’t so lucky. K C and the Sunshine Band has […]
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