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X-Aspirations Ep. 001, X-Men #1, Sep. 1963
X-Aspirations Episode 001<br />
X-Men #1, September 1963<br />
X-Men<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Drawn by Jack Kirby, Inked by Paul Reinman, Lettered by S. Rosen.<br />
<br />
Don't Miss This Fabulous First Issue!<br />
In Which We Learn All About The Colors of Evil, Proper Snow Grooming, and The Value of Good Hand (Sky) Writing.<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is Drinkin Buddies by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 002, X-Men #2, Nov. 1963
X-Aspirations Episode 002<br />
X-Men #2, November 1963<br />
No One Can Stop The Vanisher!<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Drawn by Jack Kirby, Inked by Paul Reinman, Lettered by S. Rosen.<br />
<br />
Second Inaugural Issue!<br />
In Which We Discover The Joys of Frozen Dairy Transportation, The Importance of Snake-Themed Quilting, and The Most Dastardly Four Part Plan of All!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is Drinkin Buddies by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 003, X-Men #3, Jan. 1964
X-Aspirations Episode 003<br />
X-Men #3, January 1964<br />
Beware of the Blob!<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Jack Kirby, Inked by Paul Reinman, Lettered by Art Simek.<br />
<br />
Third Time Is the Charm!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover What Evil Lurks in the Heart of Carnivale, The Secret Joy of a Floating Block of Wood, and Why Stretch Armstrong Might Be One of Our Greatest Americans.<br />
<br />
See ya, Rubes!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is Drinkin Buddies by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 004, X-Men #4, Mar. 1964
X-Aspirations Episode 004<br />
X-Men #4, March 1964<br />
The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants!<br />
Script by Stan Lee, Drawn by Jack Kirby, Inked by Paul Reinman, Lettered by Art Simek.<br />
<br />
Special Belated Valentine's Day Edition!<br />
In Which We Discover That the Common Cake Knife Will Soon Be a Thing of the Past, Where All Those South American Nazis Went, And Why You Should Never Double Up on Explosives. <br />
<br />
Please Practice Safe Pod Listening.<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is Drinkin Buddies by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 005, X-Men #5, May 1964
X-Aspirations Episode 005<br />
X-Men #5, May 1964<br />
"Trapped: One X-Man!"<br />
Script by Stan Lee, Drawn by Jack Kirby, Inked by Paul Reinman, Lettered by S. Rosen.<br />
<br />
Brotherhood of Evil Mutants Redux!<br />
In Which We Discover That Some Parents Could Stand To Be A Little More Overprotective, The Joys and Wonders That Were Pre-Olympic Track Meets, And Exactly Why Professor X Looks So Darn Smug. <br />
<br />
Like The Cat That Telepathically Mind-Wiped the Canary...
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is Drinkin Buddies by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 006, X-Men #6, July 1964
X-Aspirations Episode 006<br />
X-Men #6, July 1964<br />
"Sub-Mariner Joins the Evil Mutants!"<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Drawn by Jack Kirby, Inked by Chic Stone, Lettered by S. Rosen.<br />
<br />
Welcome the Mighty Marvel Continuity!<br />
In Which We Are Warned of an Impending Schooner Pestilence of Ishmaelian Proportions, Learn Whether Fur Remains Murder In the Briney Deeps, and Discover What I've Chosen to Wear For Next Samhain. Hint: It is not green, fishscale underpants... again.<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 007, X-Men #7, Sep. 1964
X-Aspirations Episode 007<br />
X-Men #7, September 1964<br />
"The Return of the Blob!"<br />
<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Drawn by Jack Kirby, Inked by Chic Stone, Lettered by Art Simek.<br />
<br /><br />
Attack of The Contemptible Comic Book Code!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn Why The Brotherhood Has A Constant Cauldron Shortage, Where Beast Feet Are Beat Feet, And Why You Should Never Ice Improvise. <br />
<br />
Hey, If the Ice Slide Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It.<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 008, X-Men #8, Nov. 1964
X-Aspirations Episode 008<br />
X-Men #8, November 1964<br />
"The Uncanny Threat of Unus the Untouchable!"<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Drawn by Jack Kirby, Inked by Chic Stone, Lettered by S. Rosen.<br />
<br />
The Lieber Kid, Sandwich Deliverer Extraordinaire!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Water Towers Are Not Toys, That Plan G-5 Is Code For Emasculation, And That The Only Thing Truly Untouchable About Marlboros are Their Cool, Smooth Flavor.<br />
<br />
Attention, Listener. This Podcast Blurb Can Not Be Posted Within 50 Yards of a School. Curse You Surgeon General!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 009, X-Men #9, Jan. 1965
X-Aspirations Episode 009<br />
X-Men #9, January 1965<br />
"Enter, The Avengers!"<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Drawn by Jack Kirby, Inked by Chic Stone, Lettered by S. Rosen.<br />
<br />
What's A Brother Got To Do For A Little Respect Around Here?<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That James Cameron Ain't Got Nothing On Lee and Kirby, What Exactly Makes Thor's Mjolnir Quiver, And That Geography Was Probably Not Stan Lee's Strongest Subject.<br />
<br />
Mjolnir is the Name of His Hammer, Pervert. Eyes Up Here!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 010, X-Men #10, Mar. 1965
X-Aspirations Episode 010<br />
X-Men #10, March 1965<br />
"The Coming of Ka-Zar!"<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Drawn by Jack Kirby, Inked by Chic Stone, Lettered by S. Rosen.<br />
<br />
There Are No New Ka-Zars Under The Sun...<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Color TV Or Not One Must Always Knock Before Entering Warren's Room, That Tyrannosaurs And Pyramids Are An Unpleasant Mix At Best, And Hospitality Thy Name Is Not Ape Man.<br />
<br />
And I Still Don't Care What The Paleontological Consensus Is: They Are Friggin' Brontosaurs And That Is That!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 011, X-Men #11, May 1965
X-Aspirations Episode 011<br />
X-Men #11, May 1965<br />
"The Triumph of Magneto!"<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Drawn by Jack Kirby, Inked by Chic Stone, Lettered by Artie Simek.<br />
<br />
Merry Marvel Mutant Shopping Lists!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Facial Hair Makes The Mystery Man, What Happens When Cyclops Gets Hassled By "The" Man, And That Where There Is Haberdashery There Is Evil. Vertically Adjacent Evil. Hey, It's Rent Controlled, What Can You do?<br />
<br />
To Never Return Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry.<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 012, X-Men #12, July 1965
X-Aspirations Episode 012<br />
X-Men #12, July 1965<br />
"The Origin of Professor X!"<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Layouts by Jack Kirby, Pencils by Alex Toth, Inked by Vince Colletta, Lettered by Sam Rosen.<br />
<br />
Feel The Rhythm of The Marvel Method!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Children Should Never Be Told What Their Grenades Do, That Kim Jong-Il May Have A Future In Convention Cosplay, And That The Butler Did It! Did He Ever! <br />
<br />
Sorry, Charlie.<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 013, X-Men #13, Sept. 1965
X-Aspirations Episode 013<br />
X-Men #13, September 1965<br />
"Where Walks The Juggernaut!"<br />
Story by Stan Lee, Layouts by Jack Kirby, Pencils by Jay Gavin, Inked by Joe Sinnott, Lettered by Sam Rosen.<br />
<br />
My Teenage Sex Club Invitation Was Lost In The Mail!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Demon Warriors Get All The Best Bondage Gear, That The Days of Professor X Running In Manhattan's Elite Social Circles Are Over, And That The Juggernaut Likes To Get It From Behind! <br />
<br />
That is, Get Drawings of Himself Taken From A Camera Angle That Is Behind Him! Wow, I Need To Be Clearer When I Write Things Like That!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 014, X-Men #14, Nov. 1965
X-Aspirations Episode 014<br />
X-Men #14, November 1965<br />
"Among Us Stalk The Sentinels!"<br />
Story by Stan Lee, Layouts by Jack Kirby, Pencils by Jay Gavin, Inked by Vince Coletta, Lettered by Sam Rosen.<br />
<br />
Which Came First, The Chicken Or The Doom Patrol!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover The Lost Sensual Art of Wing Taping, That Even Crazed Bigots Have A Modicum of Self-Preservation, And That There Is No Word In The English Language More Terrifying Than... Anthropologist. <br />
<br />
I Mean, Say It Fast And It Sounds Like Ant Rape Apologist. Think About It, People.<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 015, X-Men #15, Dec. 1965
X-Aspirations Episode 015<br />
X-Men #15, December 1965<br />
"Prisoners of the Mysterious Master Mold!"<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Layouts by Jack Kirby, Pencils by Jay Gavin, Inked by Dick Ayers, Lettered by Artie Simek.<br />
<br />
Sometimes Nothing Is The Greatest Reward of All!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That If You Can't Ride Your Ice Slide You Better Make It Glide, That Robot-Man Procreation Would Be An Abomination If It Didn't Feel So Right, And That All Applications For Human Evisceration Must Be Filed In Triplicate. <br />
<br />
We Are Sentinels! Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assim- Sorry, That Is The End Of The Pay Period. Please Come Back Tomorrow Between The Hours of 10 and 2 for Final Annihilation.<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 016, X-Men #16, Jan. 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 016<br />
X-Men #16, January 1966<br />
"The Supreme Sacrifice!"<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Layouts by Jack Kirby, Pencils by Jay Gavin, Inked by Dick Ayers, Lettered by Art Simek.<br />
<br />
Cameo, Cameo On The Wall, Who is The Fairest Stan of All?<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Mutants Are Better Globe Fodder Than Falling Snow, That The Crystal Power Lobby Might Be More Powerful Than I Previously Thought, And That No Matter How Big The Problem There Is A Wrench Big Enough To Fix It. <br />
<br />
Beware the Philly Fanatic!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Special Edition - X-Men: First Class
X-Aspirations Special Episode Podcast<br />
X-Men: First Class<br />
Starring James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender as Professor X and Magneto. Directed by Matthew Vaughn. <br />
<br />
We lie down and take in this latest mutant movie escapade! Check out what we thought of this X-Prequel. Just as a warning, the first 10 minutes or so are Spoiler free... but then we spoil the heck out of it after that. So listen with care. <br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 017, X-Men #17, Feb. 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 017<br />
X-Men #17, February 1966<br />
"...And None Shall Survive!"<br />
Story by Stan Lee, Layouts by Jack Kirby, Pencils by Jay Gavin, Inked by Dick Ayers, Lettered by Art Simek.<br />
<br />
They're Here, They're Queer, And They Are The Next Stage In Human Evolution!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That To Keep His Apartment Xavier May Need To Convince His Landlord Mr. Roper That He Is Light In The Loafers, That Cyclops' Optometrist Would Like To Invite You To His Gun Show, And That Beast May Have Renewed His Membership For The He-Man Woman Haters Club!<br />
<br />
A Capricious Bagatelle, Indeed!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 018, X-Men #18, Mar. 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 018<br />
X-Men #18, March 1966<br />
"If Iceman Should Fail..!"<br />
Story by Stan Lee, Pencils by Jay Gavin, Inked by Dick Ayers, Lettered by Artie Simek.<br />
<br />
Kirby Gone But Not Forgotten!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn The Only Brotherhood Magneto Should Be Concerned With Is The International Brotherhood of The Teamsters, That Some May Confuse Angels With Eggies, And That One Should Never Bring an Ultraviolet Inspection Light Into Xavier's Guest Room Unless They Are Prepared For a Sight They Can Not Ever Unsee!<br />
<br />
Secret Guest Star! Things Get Thorny!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 019, X-Men #19, Apr. 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 019<br />
X-Men #19, April 1966<br />
"Lo! Now Shall Appear - The Mimic!"<br />
Story by Stan Lee, Pencils by Jay Gavin, Inking by Dick Ayers, Lettering by Artie Simek.<br />
<br />
All Good Things Must Come To An End, At Least That's What Marvel Marketing Tells Us!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover Why Not All Civil War Antiquities Belong On A Mantlepiece, Why Experimental Chemistry Has No Place In The Home of The Single Dad, And Why It Is So Freaking Hard To Keep One Working Sugar Dispenser On Every Damn Table!<br />
<br />
Are These Coffee Creamers Already Open? <br />
Arrgggghhhhh!!!!! <br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 020, X-Men #20, May 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 020<br />
X-Men #20, May 1966<br />
"I, Lucifer..."<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Jay Gavin, Inking by Dick Ayers, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Roy Is The New Kid On The Block, Both Hangin Tough And Taking It Step By Step!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Cyclops May Need To Top Off His Juice, That The Super Weapon Of Lucifer MAY Be Overcompensating For Something, And Sector B Totally Rules While Clearly Sector A Drools!<br />
<br />
Hey, Who You Calling a Fudgesicle Freak?!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 021, X-Men #21, June 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 021<br />
X-Men #21, June 1966<br />
"From Whence Comes... Dominus?"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Jay Gavin, Inking by Dick Ayers, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Don't Blame The Flashman, Jack. Forbush Did It!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Mutants Have No Concern For The Welfare Of The Working Equine, That Ultrabot Epilson Was Probably Always Picked Last For All The Robo-Ball Teams, And That The Sirian Slave Workers Look So Delicious You Could Eat Them With A Knife And Fork!<br />
<br />
What Can I Say, Neo-Plasticism Makes Good Linolium!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 022, X-Men #22, July 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 022<br />
X-Men #22, July 1966<br />
"Divided We Fall!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Jay Gavin, Inking by Dick Ayers, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Haversacks, X-Ray Specs, Or Hitler Soap... How's A Boy To Choose?<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That The Giant Robot Colosso Just Wants A Minute of Your Time To Discuss The Problem of Ground-In Dirt, That Count Nefaria Won't Be Able To Decide Which of His Super Henchmen He Will Miss Most of All, And That Beast May Like To Drink The Cherry Cola: C-O-L-A Cola!<br />
<br />
Got To Run Catch The End Of The Mets Game. They Are Only Seven Runs Behind!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 023, X-Men #23, August 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 023<br />
X-Men #23, August 1966<br />
"To Save A City!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inking by Dick Ayers, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Vaya Con Dios, Colan The Great, May Your Shade Find Cool Shade to Shade In!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover Why The Smell of Fresh Milk Drives Beast Into A Frothing Frenzy, Why Nefaria Has The Soft Hands of A Lady of Leisure, and That Beltway Bellboys Expect A Certain Level Of Valor From All Guests, Wheelchairs Be Damned!<br />
<br />
Hee, hee! Power Horn!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 024, X-Men #24, September 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 024<br />
X-Men #24, September 1966<br />
"The Plague of the Locust!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inking by Dick Ayers, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Reclusive Objectivist Creates Wacky Wallcrawler: Ditko is Black and White and There Is Nothing In Between.<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That With Tanks of Napalm And Compressed Butane Gas Strapped To My Back I Will Fear No Evil, That One Can Never Underestimate The Emotional Impact of 19th Century Hermit Garb, And That While Your Peers May Appreciate Your Commitment To Your Science-Themed Costume, It Is Unlikely To Get You Tenure.<br />
<br />
Next year AntMutCon Will Be in Fort Lauderdale... I am Thinking Wet T-shirt Contest! And Genocide, Of Course.<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 025, X-Men #25, October 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 025<br />
X-Men #25, October 1966<br />
"The Power And The Pendant!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inking by Dick Ayers, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
O Captain, My Captain! Our Fearful Strip Is Done!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That The Xavier Fortune May Be Built On Orphanage Fraud, That El Tigre Should Not Hold His Breath Waiting For a World's Greatest Boss Coffee Mug, and That The X-Men Will Take Any Opportunity To Ditch Paying Their Mini-Bar Tab!<br />
<br />
Do Not Even Joke About Drinking From the Hudson River! Think of the Children!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 026, X-Men #26, November 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 026<br />
X-Men #26, November 1966<br />
"Holocaust!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inking by Dick Ayers, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Kirby May Have Been King, But His Work Was For Hire!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Early Morning Telepathy Could Be A Million Dollar Idea, That The Professor Likes To Pretend He Has Marvel Girl Pants, And That It Is Essential To Prevent Icy Build-Up On All Of Your Solar-Powered Snake Stelae!<br />
<br />
Knowing Is Half The Battle! Go Joe!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 027, X-Men #27, December 1966
X-Aspirations Episode 027<br />
X-Men #27, December 1966<br />
"Re-Enter: The Mimic!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inking by Dick Ayers, Lettering by Sam Rosen (woudja believe Artie Simek?), Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Nemo Me Impune Lacessit!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Long Distance Vault Diving Is The Sport Of The Future, That Most Future Technology Can Not Be Shared In Polite Company, And That One Should Always Check Whether The Man Of Your Dreams Has Any Brothers. Play The Odds, Ladies!<br />
<br />
Orange Drink... Is It In You?<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 028, X-Men #28, January 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 028<br />
X-Men #28, January 1967<br />
"The Wail Of The Banshee!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inking by Dick Ayers, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Thus Spake Zugsmith To Ya!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That One Should Always Hand Hank The Proper Tool If You Know Whats Good For Ya, That Factor Three Bases All Their Technology On Nipple Play, And That While Banshee May Not Know Art, He Knows What He Likes: Tobacco!<br />
<br />
Flake Off, Ya Ramroddin' Muffed Beef!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 029, X-Men #29, February 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 029<br />
X-Men #29, February 1967<br />
"When Titans Clash!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inking by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
When Something's Gettin' Drawn, You Must Whip It!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That There Are A Suspiciously Large Number of Revolutionary War Munitions Sites Near The Xavier Mansion, That Underpants Do Not Qualify As A Uniform No Matter How Frosty, And That Androids Like Their Beverages Warm Just Because They Know No Other Way.<br />
<br />
Solid State Components, Smolid State Components -- Gimme Robot Powers!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 030, X-Men #30, March 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 030<br />
X-Men #30, March 1967<br />
"The Warlock Wakes!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Jack Sparling, Inking by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
The X-Men *Are* Big, It's The Animation That Got Small!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Hybrid Mythical Creatures Get The Ladies, That The Beast Has A Heartless Mistress and Her Name is Baccarat, And That No One Wants To Hear The Story Again Of How Your Magic Enabled Uther Pendragon to Father His Son Arthur With Igrain, The Wife of His Enemy! Look, We All Did A Lot Of Crazy Things In The Time Of Legends, But The Rest Of Us Grew Up And Got Jobs!<br />
<br />
Baby, You Look Positively Pulchritudinous Tonight!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 031, X-Men #31, April 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 031<br />
X-Men #31, April 1967<br />
"We Must Destroy The Cobalt Man!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inking by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Mexn, Silent Sen, & Nag A Rams!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Having A Pole Off Is Half As Sexy And Twice As Painful As It Sounds, That Warren Is Not Man Enough For A Full Quadrilateral, And That If Jean Does Not Want To Come Off As Too Easy She Should Stop Bringing A Full Change Of Clothes On Every Date!<br />
<br />
Hey Kids, Don't Play With C-Bombs!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 032, X-Men #32, May 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 032<br />
X-Men #32, May 1967<br />
"Beware The Juggernaut, My Son!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inking by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
More Gold, Silver, and Bronze Than An Olympiad!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That The New York Night Club Scene Is Notoriously Lax On Age Enforcement, That To Ride With Satans Saints You Must Be Prepared To Dine On An Incline, And That While Technically The Juggernaut Is Unstoppable, Sometimes He Just Can Not Deal With The Hassles of Modern Air Travel!<br />
<br />
Execute Plan WTF, but keep Plan STFU in reserve!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 033, X-Men #33, June 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 033<br />
X-Men #33, June 1967<br />
"Into The Crimson Cosmos!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inking by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Kane Has His Finger In Too Many Batman Pies!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover Why The List Of Required Mystical Components For Doctor Strange Always Includes A Sleeve Of Golf Balls, That Licorice Candy Based Bondage Is On The Upswing, And That Andre 3000 May Actually Be A Demon Banished To A Crimson Hell Dimension! Try To At Least Look Surprised.<br />
<br />
Uh Oh, Looks Like The Juggernaut Really Hit The Fan!<br />
<br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 034, X-Men #34, July 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 034<br />
X-Men #34, July 1967<br />
"War -- In a World of Darkness!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Art by Dan Adkins, Lettering by J. Feldman, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Their Worlds Ring Hollow!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That The X-Men Have Been Naughty, Naughty Boys, That New York Pay Phones Are Both Phallic and Profane, And That Whether Your Skin Be Pink, Orange, Or Sickly Yellow, It Is All The Same In The Dark!<br />
<br />
Stupid Pronunciation! Why Does Hades Even Have Rivers?!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 035, X-Men #35, August 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 035<br />
X-Men #35, August 1967<br />
"Along Came A Spider..."<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by Dan Adkins, Lettering by Jerry Feldman, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Marvel Is Teaming With Spiders!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Xavier May Be Moving Into The Psychedelic Successories Business, That When Numbering Evil Henchmen Never Aim Numerically Low, And That The Number One Problem With Running A Picturesque Bed And Breakfast In A Restored, Old Mill Is The Constant Robo-Arachnoid Attacks!<br />
<br />
Just Because He Is A Spider-Man Doesn't Automatically Make Him Good At Basketball!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 036, X-Men #36, September 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 036<br />
X-Men #36, September 1967<br />
"Mekano Lives!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Ross Andru, Inked by George Bell, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Submit To The Wonders Of Marston!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Thanks To The Unions All Our Super-Jobs Are Going Overseas, That Next Time A Man In An Exoskeleton Returns A Book Late You May Want To Just Let It Slide, And That We Can Forget About All The Single Mothers, The Real Problem Is All The Damn Welfare Professors!<br />
<br />
Being Wealthy Means Never Having To Say You Are Sorry!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 037, X-Men #37, October 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 037<br />
X-Men #37, October 1967<br />
"We, The Jury..."<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Ross Andru, Inked by Don Heck, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
What The Heck?!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Factor Three's Mom Is Going To Be So Pissed When She Sees They Have Gotten Into Her Good Cookware, That Beast Can't Stop Drawing To The Inside Straight, And That If You Face The GuardBot You Won't Be Sitting Down For A Week!<br />
<br />
I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 038, X-Men #38, November 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 038<br />
X-Men #38, November 1967<br />
"The Sinister Shadow of... Doomsday!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Don Heck, Inked by George Bell, Lettering by L.P. Gregory, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Watch Your Back, Australian Superband!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That It Is Important To Bring Your Giant Candy Bar And Jellied Nitroglycerine In Separate Bags, That Italy Is Dangerously Overpopulated with Multi-Vowelled Cities, And That Xavier Needs To Show Us Exactly Where The Mutant Master Touched Him!<br />
<br />
Why Can't All The Boobies Just Get Along?!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "A Man Called... X!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 039, X-Men #39, December 1967
X-Aspirations Episode 039<br />
X-Men #39, December 1967<br />
"The Fateful Finale!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Don Heck, Inked by Vince Colletta, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Simple Simon Met A Line Man!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That The Best Fog Lights Are .50 Caliber Machine Guns, That The Alarm Clock And Suitcase Bomb Industries Are Dangerously Intertwined, And That Doublemint Gum Has Finally Gotten Into The Lucrative Hairless Genius Market!<br />
<br />
You Call This Soft Serve? Androids Attack!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "Lonely Are the Hunted!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by Al Kurzrok, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 040, X-Men #40, January 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 040<br />
X-Men #40, January 1968<br />
"The Mark of the Monster!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Don Heck, Inked by George Tuska, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Joe Doffs His Cap To You!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Angels Rush In Where Fools Fear To Tread, That Hundred Year Old Reanimated Corpses Are Terrible At Movie Trivia, And That If No One Is Going To Do Any Of The Reading, Xavier Wonders Why He Even Bothers!<br />
<br />
Fact: Mary Shelley Never Once Denied Her Creation Was a Biomechanical Space Monster. Not Once. Coincidence?!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "The First Evil Mutant!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by Al Kurzrok, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 041, X-Men #41, February 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 041<br />
X-Men #41, February 1968<br />
"Now Strikes... The Sub-Human!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Don Heck, Inked by George Tuska, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Simon and Kirby Got That Old Black Magic!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That The Professor Needs To Chill The Heck Out With The Demerits, That Vera Expects Her X-Men To Go All Night, And That The Beast Can Smell What The Sub-Human Is Cooking!<br />
<br />
Tete a Tete or Beast vs. BeYast? It's All Tomatoes To Me!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "The Living Diamond!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 042, X-Men #42, March 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 042<br />
X-Men #42, March 1968<br />
"If I Should Die...!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Don Heck, Inked by George Tuska, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Simon Is Sick And Retired Of Comics!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Xavier Suffers From Mechanically Induced Incontinence, That Earth Annihilating Machines May Require Additional Child Safety Features, And That The X-Men Should Consider Tricking More Of Their Most Fearsome Foes Into Local Fast Food Eateries!<br />
<br />
Hey, Rocket Face! Stop Blasting The Bird Man!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "The End... Or The Beginning?"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by Herb Trimpe, Lettering by Al Kurzrok, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
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<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 043, X-Men #43, April 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 043<br />
X-Men #43, April 1968<br />
"The Torch Is Passed...!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by George Tuska, Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Never Say Nephrosis!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Marvel Comics May Have To Institute Mandatory Drug Tests For All Of Its Super-Speedsters, That Magneto Needs To Stop Buying Creepy Marital Aids For His Lackeys, And That There Is A Reason Hank McCoy Lost His Olympic Torch Relay Eligibility!<br />
<br />
In the iFuture, We Will All Be Oz-Loading Lollypop Guild Content To Our Mobile Ruby Devices!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "Call Him... Cyclops"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 044, X-Men #44, May 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 044<br />
X-Men #44, May 1968<br />
"Red Raven, Red Raven...!"<br />
Written by Gary Friedrich, Plotted by Roy Thomas, Layouts by Don Heck, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Which Came First, The Spider Or The Man!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That The X-men Need A Canine To Help With Shackle Key Retrieval, That When Warren Watches The Lord of The Rings He Creepily Insists On Using Slow Motion For All The Hobbit Scenes, And That To This Day Professor X Can Not Even Eat A Peanut Without Weeping For The Memory Of Sally, Linus, And His Little Red-Headed Girl!<br />
<br />
Grandmama Xavier Loved The Family Motto So Much That She Embroidered It On Every Seat Cushion In The Mansion In A Single Night! She Did Regret It Later, Once She Got A Chance To Think It Over.<br />
<br />
Also Included: "The Iceman Cometh!"<br />
Written by Gary Friedrich, Pencils by George Tuska, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 045, X-Men #45/Avengers #53, June 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 045<br />
X-Men #45, June 1968<br />
"When Mutants Clash!"<br />
Written by Gary Friedrich, Layouts by Don Heck, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
Avengers #53, June 1968<br />
"In Battle Joined!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by John Buscema, Inked by George Tuska, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
The Dickens You Say!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That You May Cheer Up A Sleepy Jean But Under No Circumstances Should You Try To Wake Her, That Cyclops Has A Very Grim And Determined Lower Cheekbone, That Once The Avengers Are Settled Into A Television Show They Are Much Harder To Assemble, That There Is Nothing As Sweet As The Payoff of a Multi-issue Spy Arrow, And That What The Avengers Fear Most Are Campfire Girl Special Forces!<br />
<br />
Merry Christmas! Do Not Rape Us, Every One!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "And The Mob Cried... Vengeance!"<br />
Written by Gary Friedrich, Pencils by George Tuska, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by Irving Watanabe, Edited by Stan Lee.
.<br />
Special Thanks to Amy, Allison, Hooded Rachel, Steve, Thorn, and Varoujan for all the ghost work! You were Spook-Tacular!<br/>
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<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 046, X-Men #46, July 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 046<br />
X-Men #46, July 1968<br />
"The End of the X-Men!"<br />
Written by Gary Friedrich, Layouts by Don Heck, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Friedrich Scripts Were Not Ghost Ridden!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That The Juggernaut Manages To Get By With Only Two Stages of Grief, That There Is No Helmet That Can Protect Against A Women's Intuition, And That If Push Came to Shove, Bobby Would Really Rather Have The Carvel Cookie Puss!<br />
<br />
Hey Kids! Check Out The Latest Administration Of The Estate of a Deceased Person! It's Da Bomb!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "...And Then There Were Two"<br />
Written by Gary Friedrich, Pencils by George Tuska, Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 047, X-Men #47, August 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 047<br />
X-Men #47, August 1968<br />
"The Warlock Wears Three Faces!"<br />
Written by Gary Friedrich and Arnold Drake, Layouts by Don Heck, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Drake Brings His Sense Of Doom!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Iceman May Be Hiding A Herniated Disc, That Hippie Thugs Make Up For Their Mindless Brutality With A Strong Commitment To Multiculturalism, And That The One Thing The Warlock Fears Above All Else Is The Textile Industry!<br />
<br />
Hey, Bobby-Boo, I Am Smarter Than The Average Mutant!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "I, The Iceman"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by Joe Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
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<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 048, X-Men #48, September 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 048<br />
X-Men #48, September 1968<br />
"Beware Computo, Commander of the Robot Hive!"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Layouts by Don Heck, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by I. Watanabe, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Wood You Like To Hear Some Real Crime?!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Marvel Girl Believes That Microphones Are Stealing Our Souls, That Scott Has A Face That Suggests Staying Power, And That Only An Evil Robot Would Choose Reverse Alphabetical Order!<br />
<br />
Handle Your Oven Hot Biscuits With Care!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "Yours Truly The Beast"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by I. Watanabe, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 049, X-Men #49, October 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 049<br />
X-Men #49, October 1968<br />
"Who Dares Defy... The Demi-Men?"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Layouts by Don Heck, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Herb Cooper, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Charlton In Charge!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Iceman Practices Total Domination of the Salad Bar, That The Troubles of Mesmero All Stem From His Zero J-Date Response Rate, And That Modern Hair Styling May Hide A Multitude of Mutants!<br />
<br />
Nobody Questions Beast About His Gimp Mask!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "A Beast Is Born"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by I. Watanabe, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 050, X-Men #50, November 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 050<br />
X-Men #50, November 1968<br />
"City of Mutants"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Jim Steranko, Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Herb Cooper, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Steranko Brew -- Killin What's Inside of You.<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Supervillains Are Irresistibly Drawn To Scandinavian Modular Furniture, That Magneto Likes To Spend His Downtime Cruising The Caribbean Mixing Fruity Drinks, And That The Only Dark Lord To Which Lorna Dane Will Bow Down Is His Royal Highness, The Blizzard of Oz!<br />
<br />
Until Evil Mutants Recognize That Systems Of Meritocracy Vastly Outperform Those Founded On Hereditary Monarchy, They Are Doomed To Wear Those Silly Helmets.<br />
<br />
Also Included: "This Boy -- This Bombshell!"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by Herb Cooper, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 051, X-Men #51, December 1968
X-Aspirations Episode 051<br />
X-Men #51, December 1968<br />
"The Devil Had A Daughter!"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Jim Steranko, Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
To Tariff Is Human, To Forgive Custom Fees Divine!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Lorna Dane May Be Less Fresh Than Advertised, That Cyclops' Inability To Pucker Up and Blow Causes A Lot Of Inter-Team Strife, And That Magneto Loves His Monogram… Which Is Another Word That Starts With M!<br />
<br />
Heck, Filial Duty Doesn't Even Make My Top Twenty!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "The Lure of the Beast-Nappers!"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Herb Cooper, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 052, X-Men #52, January 1969
X-Aspirations Episode 052<br />
X-Men #52, January 1969<br />
"Twilight of the Mutants!"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Layouts by Don Heck, Pencils by Werner Roth Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
2011: An X-Odyssey!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Cyclops Has An Unswayable Commitment To The Business Of Show, That One Should Never Open Erik the Red's Bag of Tricks In Front Of A Minor, And That Even Stan Lee Was Trying To Cash In On The Twilight Phenomenon, Thirty Years Before Its Publication!<br />
<br />
You Would Think That Anti-Human Fascists Would Be Better At Roof Construction!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "The Crimes of the Conquistador!"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Verpoorten, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 053, X-Men #53, February 1969
X-Aspirations Episode 053<br />
X-Men #53, February 1969<br />
"The Rage of Blastaar!"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Barry Smith, Inked by Michael Dee, Lettering by Herb Cooper, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Eat, Drink, and Make Barry!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Jean Is Fighting A Lifelong Battle Against Asymmetrical Cleavage, That Xavier Blew His Mansion Decoration Budget on Vaulted Ceilings, And That Smart Superteams Recognize the Value of Large Appliance Corporate Sponsorships!<br />
<br />
Wherever There Are Malevolent, Twisted Versions of Grapes of Wrath Speeches… Blastaar Will Be There!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "Welcome to the Club, Beast!"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by John Tartaglione, Lettering by Jean "Simek" Izzo, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 054, Ka-Zar #2-3, Marvel Tales #30, Dec. 1970 - April 1971
X-Aspirations Episode 054<br />
Ka-Zar #2-3, Marvel Tales #30, Dec. 1970 - April 1971<br />
"From The Sky... Winged Wrath!"<br />
"...In The Den of the Dazzler!"<br />
"To Cage an Angel!"<br />
Written by Jerry Siegel, Pencils by George Tuska, Inked by Dick Ayers, Lettering by Sam Rosen and Art Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Jerry Writes What He Knows And He Knows A Man Can Fly!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Security At All Our National Monuments Seems Woefully Underfunded, That Angel Is Not Above Consuming Crustacean-Shaped Man Meat, And That The Worthington Estate Is Built On A Bloody Foundation Of Human Containment Tubes!<br />
<br />
Take The Law Into Your Own Hands Is The Biggest Unwritten Law Of All!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 055, X-Men #54, March 1969
X-Aspirations Episode 055<br />
X-Men #54, March 1969<br />
"Wanted: Dead or Alive -- Cyclops!"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Don Heck, Inked by Vince Colletta, Lettering by Jean Izzo, Edited by Stan Lee.
<br />
<br />
Notes From The Underground!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That The Jackal-Headed Deities Always Get The Crap Chores, That Santa Needs To Crack Down On His Little Helpers Moonlighting, And That While Bobby Likes The Idea of Japanese Fashion He Has Not Really Had The Time To Look Into It!<br />
<br />
10,000 Bohemians: Now That Would Have Been A Great Band!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "The Million Dollar Angel"<br />
Written by Arnold Drake, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by Vince Colletta, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 056, X-Men #55, April 1969
X-Aspirations Episode 056<br />
X-Men #55, April 1969<br />
"The Living Pharaoh!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Layouts by Don Heck, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by Vince Colletta, Lettering by Jean Izzo, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
At Last, Stories of Substance!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Warren May Be At Risk For Punch Drunk Syndrome, That Sarcophagus Smugglers Need To Keep It Light and Breezy, And That More Villains Have Been Undone By A Potty Break Than You Might Think!<br />
<br />
Hey Lafayette, Forget Pershing! The X-Men Are Here!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "Where Angels Dare to Tread!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked and Lettered by Sam Grainger, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 057, X-Men #56, May 1969
X-Aspirations Episode 057<br />
X-Men #56, May 1969<br />
"What Is... The Power?"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Neal Adams, Inked by Tom Palmer, Lettering by Herb Cooper, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
We Will Neal Before No Man!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Alex Summers Has Skin Of Milky White And Blood-Red Lips, That The Snake Headdress Is The New Corporate Power Tie, And That Egyptian Exterminators Should Mainly Focus On The Dromedary Infestations!<br />
<br />
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner? Nope, It's Ra!<br />
<br />
Also Included: "The Flying A-Bomb!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked and Lettered by Sam Grainger, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 059, X-Men #58, July 1969
X-Aspirations Episode 059<br />
X-Men #58, July 1969<br />
"Mission: Murder!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Neal Adams, Inked by Tom Palmer, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Sex, Dope, Comics, and Cheap Thrills!!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That For A Guy With Such A Biblical Name Angel's Religious Education Shows Some Fairly Substantal Gaps, That Havok Is Equally Well Dressed For Both The Tour De France And The MTV Music Awards, And That We Should Never Forget That Sentinel #8 Is The Baddest MoFo Robo In The Land!<br />
<br />
Just Imagine The Damage You Could Do With A Concentric Rhombus!<br />
<br />
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www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 060, X-Men #59, August 1969
X-Aspirations Episode 060<br />
X-Men #59, August 1969<br />
"Do Or Die, Baby!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Neal Adams, Inked by Tom Palmer, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
The Rumours Has It!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Beast Is Not Altogther Pleased With Scott's Commitment To His Personal Safety, That Our Future Robot Overlords Will Never Host A Pity Party, And That The Alphanumerically Low Robots Deserve An Award Just For Trying!<br />
<br />
Ladies Dig The Monitron!<br />
<br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 062, X-Men #61, October 1969
X-Aspirations Episode 062<br />
X-Men #61, October 1969<br />
"Monsters Also Weep!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Neal Adams, Inked by Tom Palmer, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Of Course You Know, This Means War!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Doctor Lykos Seldom Walks Anywhere But When He Does It Is Like An Egyptian, That Face Punches Sooth Warren Like A Warm Bottle Of Milk, And That Sauron Has Much More Competitive Event Rates Than Those Uppity Goodyear Blimp People! <br />
<br />
Marvel May Have Oversold The Majesty And Grandeur Of Scarsdale!<br />
<br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 063, X-Men #62, November 1969
X-Aspirations Episode 063<br />
X-Men #62, November 1969<br />
"Strangers… In A Savage Land!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Neal Adams, Inked by Tom Palmer, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
The Refridgerator That Broke The Damsel's Back!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That The Savage Land Tourist Board Is At Its Wits End With Ka-Zar, That Savage Times Were Shirt Free And Easy On The Eyes, And That There Is No Being Or Creature, Be They Alive, Dead, Or Sixty Million Years Extinct, Who Does Not Want To Punch Angel Right In The Face! <br />
<br />
If I Told You About A Product That Combined All The Best Features Of The Tube With All The Convenience Of The Slab, How Much Would You Pay?!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 064, X-Men #63, December 1969
X-Aspirations Episode 064<br />
X-Men #63, December 1969<br />
"War In The World Below!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Neal Adams, Inked by Tom Palmer, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Otto Never Schmisses!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Ka-Zar Loses Interest Fast In Things He Can Not Punch, That Cats Have Nothing On The Lives Of Magneto, And That You Could Take A Subway To China If It Weren't For The Damn Mole People! <br />
<br />
Apparently Robo-Magnetos Need No Explanation!<br />
<br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 065, X-Men #64, January 1970
X-Aspirations Episode 065<br />
X-Men #64, January 1970<br />
"The Coming Of Sunfire!"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Don Heck, Inked by Tom Palmer, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Manga, It's Not Just Italian For Eating Anymore!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That No Marvel Crisis Is Complete Without The Abject Terror Of A Hippie, That Bobby Can Not Even Stand To Steam Clean His Carpets, And That If Your Uncle Asks To Take You To Your Childhood Home Always Be Sure To Get A Becquerel Count!<br />
<br />
The World's Avante Garde All Meet At The Chateau Dirbage!<br />
<br />
Check us out at <br />
www.x-aspirations.com<br />
And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 066, X-Men #65, February 1970
X-Aspirations Episode 066<br />
X-Men #65, February 1970<br />
"Before I'd Be Slave..."<br />
Written by Dennis O'Neil, Pencils by Neal Adams, Inked by Tom Palmer, Lettering by Jean Izzo, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Dammit. Janet. Pym Slaps You!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Cyclops Prepares For All His Alien Invasions With An Intense Series Of Kegels, That Real BFFs Should Brutally Attack Each Other At Any Provocation, And That The Loathesome And Terrible Z'Nox Are Secretly Beloved By The American Society For The Betterment Of Scrabble (ASFBS)!<br />
<br />
You Know Who Would Have Made Quick Work of The Z'Nox? Thundarr, That's Who!<br />
<br />
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And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com<br />
<br />
The closing music is "Drinkin Buddies" by Six Hung Sprung<br />
http://podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/1164/
Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 067, X-Men #66, March 1970
X-Aspirations Episode 067<br />
X-Men #66, March 1970<br />
"The Mutants and The Monster"<br />
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Sal Buscema, Inked by Sam Grainger, Lettering by Artie Simek, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
At Long Last, Angel's Lament!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That No Chrome-Headed Genius Can Resist The Siren Song Of A Size 20 Hulk Crammed Into Size 10 Pants, That The Craisin Is The Most Sensual Of The Dehydrated Diminutive Fruits, And That The First Thing Hulk Must SMASH… Is His Own Self Doubts!<br />
<br />
You Can Rock It, You Can Reel It At The Mutant Sock Hop… Hop… Hop!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 068, Amazing Adventures #11, March 1972
X-Aspirations Episode 068<br />
Amazing Adventures #11, March 1972<br />
"The Beast!"<br />
Written by Gerry Conway, Pencils by Tom Sutton, Inked by Syd Shores, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.<br />
<br />
Three Weeks Of Heaven With Gerry Conway!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Hank Always Kept His Bros Before Even The Reddest-Headest Of Ho's, That First Names Are Only For Whores, Waitresses, And Theater Folk, And That Maybe Professor X Should Have Made More Time To Have "The Talk" With Beast!<br />
<br />7
Beast Is Going Through Ch-Ch-Changes!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 069, Amazing Adventures #12-15, May-November 1972
X-Aspirations Episode 069<br />
Amazing Adventures #12-15, May-November 1972<br />
"Iron Man: D.O.A."<br />
"Evil Is All In Your Mind!"<br />
"The Vampire Machine"<br />
"Murder in Mid-Air!"<br />
Written by Steve Englehart, Pencils by Tom Sutton, Inked by Mike Ploog, Frank Giacoia, Jim Mooney, and John Tartaglione, Lettering by Artie Simek, John Costanza, and Jean Izzo, Edited by Stan Lee and Roy Thomas<br />
<br />
Owner of An Englehart!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Hank Will Never Get That Wet Beast Smell Out of His Upholstery, That Later Editions of The New Testament Downplayed Most of The Elaborate Heists, And That Surprisingly One Of The Best Ways To Male Bond Is Over Bondage!<br />
<br />7
It Is Both The 0s and The 1s That Are The Loneliest Numbers!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 070, Amazing Adventures #16, Hulk #161+172, Jan-Mar 1973, Feb 1974
X-Aspirations Episode 070<br />
Amazing Adventures #16, Hulk 161 & 172, Jan-Mar 1973 + Feb 1974<br />
"…And The Juggernaut Will Get You… If You Don't Watch Out!"<br />
"Beyond The Border Lurks Death!"<br />
"And Canst Thou Say… The Juggernaut?"<br />
Written by Steve Englehart & Tony Isabella, Pencils by Bob Brown, Marie Severin, & Herb Trimpe, Inked by Frank McLaughlin, Sal Trampani, & Jack Abel, Lettering by Charlotte Jetter, Artie Simek, & A. Kupperberg, Colors by Glynis Wein, G. Roussos, & P. Goldberg, Edited by Roy Thomas<br />
<br />
How Can We Give Up This Game of Show?<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That If Hulk's Tummy Feels Icky Hulk No Longer Finds Object Impermanence Funny, That There Is No Scientific Atrocity That Can Not Be Soothed Over With A Little Deep Tissue Shiatsu, And That The U.S. Military Should Not Underestimate The Strategic Applications Of A Strapless Dress, A Thick Coat Of Lipstick, And Pair Of Three Inch Pumps!<br />
<br />
The Problem With Howard Johnson's -- They Moved The Headstones, But They Didn't Move The Bodies!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 071, Avengers #110-111, April - May 1973
X-Aspirations Episode 071<br />
Avengers #110-111, April - May 1973<br />
"…And Now Magneto!"<br />
"With Two Beside Them!"<br />
Written by Steve Englehart, Pencils by Don Heck, Inked by Frank Giacoia and Mike Esposito, Lettering by S. Leferman and John Costanza, Colors by Glynis Wein and David Hunt, Edited by Roy Thomas<br />
<br />
We Double The X and Double The Sexy!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Professor X Would Like You To Keep Cowardly Currs Separate From Your Foolish Fops, That The Deinonychus Can't Get No Dino-Respect, And That Magneto's Greatest Power May Really Be His Unrelenting Optimism!<br />
<br />
One Thing We Can All Agree On: Naughty Robot Love Is Infinitely Less Creepy Than Stripping For Your Dad!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 072, Incredible Hulk #180-181, Oct - Nov 1974
X-Aspirations Episode 072<br />
Incredible Hulk #180-181, Oct - Nov 1974<br />
"And The Wind Howls… Wendigo!"<br />
"And Now… The Wolverine!"<br />
Written by Len Wein, Pencils by Herb Trimpe, Inked by Jack Abel, Lettering by Artie Simek, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roy Thomas<br />
<br />
We Got The Powers That Be!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Hulk May Really Be More Of A Cat Person, That Weapon X Just Don't Care, And That Either The Wendigo Has Grown A Tail Or It Is Just Happy To Meet You! <br />
<br />
Hey Kids! Set Your Sights On Ottawa, Because Canadian Girls Are The Horniest!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 073, Captain America #172-175, Apr - Jul 1974
X-Aspirations Episode 073<br />
Captain America #172-175, Apr - Jul 1974<br />
"Believe It Or Not: The Banshee!"<br />
"Sins Of The Secret Empire!"<br />
"It's Always Darkest...!"<br />
"...Before The Dawn!"<br />
Written by Steve Englehart and Mike Friedrich, Pencils by Sal Buscema, Inked by Vince Colletta, Lettering by Artie Simek and C. Jetter, Colors by Brand, G. Roussos, and P. Goldberg, Edited by Roy Thomas<br />
<br />
Tick Tock, We Are On The Clock!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Cap and Falcon Know Only Vagrants and Farmers Travel Without A Double Windsor, That Being A Hero Requires An Encyclopedic Knowledge of the Grand Old Opry, That Cap Depends Upon The Kindness of Strange Truckers, And That Professor X Specializes In Long Distance Rumbly Tummies!<br />
<br />
The More Evil You Are The Lower You Five!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 074, Mutant Potpourri! Jan 1971 - Oct 1975
X-Aspirations Episode 074<br />
Amazing Spider-Man #92, Incredible Hulk #150, Marvel Team-Up #23 and 38, The Defenders #15 and 16, Fantastic Four Giant-Size #4, Jan 1971 - Oct 1975<br />
"When Iceman Attacks"<br />
"Cry Hulk, Cry Havok!"<br />
"The Night of the Frozen Inferno"<br />
"Night of the Griffin"<br />
"Panic Beneath The Earth!"<br />
"Alpha, The Ultimate Mutant!"<br />
"Madrox the Multiple Man!"<br />
Written by Stan Lee, Archie Goodwin, Len Wein, Bill Mantlo, and Chris Claremont, Pencils by Gil Kane, Herb Trimpe, Sal Buscema, and John Buscema, Inked by John Romita, John Severin, Mike Esposito, Klaus Janson, C. Stone and J. Sinnott, Lettering by Artie Simek, Sam Rosen, C. Jetter, Karen Mantlo, and John Constanza, Colors by Glynis Wein, and Janice Cohen, Edited by Stan Lee, Roy Thomas, Marv Wolfman, and Len Wein<br />
<br />
The Podcastibilities Are Limitless!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Havok Might Want To Start With Limited Sleepovers At First Then Maybe Throwing In a Toothbrush If Things Go Well, That There Is No National Monument, Treasure, or Public Work Of Art That Can Not Be Commandeered For Villainy, That Hoary Nether Realm Demons Describe Extreme Profanity As Swearing Like a Sorcerer Supreme, And That Mr. Fantastic Cut A Lot Of Corners On Fire Safety To Afford His Ludicrous Bell and Whistle Assortment!<br />
<br />
Up Yours Luxembourg! You're Not So Great!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 075, Giant-Size X-Men #1, May 1975
X-Aspirations Episode 075<br />
Giant-Size X-Men #1, May 1975<br />
"Second Genesis!"<br />
Written and Edited by Len Wein, Illustrated by Dave Cockrum, Lettered by John Costanza, Colors by Glynis Wein<br />
<br />
We Whip Out Our Giant-Size Cockrum and Wein!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That What The Mighty Mutant Colossus Really Wants To Do Is Rewire Your Office Intranet, That This Is Not The First Time Wolverine Has Had To Battle Giant Crabs, And That While Lorna Dane Wouldn't Trade The Krakoa Experience She Shared With Storm For Anything, It Did Get Weird!<br />
<br />
The All Different X-Men Bring All New Racial Epithets!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 076, X-Men #94, August 1975
X-Aspirations Episode 076<br />
X-Men #94, August 1975<br />
"The Doomsmith Scenario!"<br />
Plotted and Edited by Len Wein, Written by Chris Claremont, Penciled by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Bob McLeod, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Phil Rachelson<br />
<br />
Cue The Kubert!<br />
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In Which We Find That Nefaria's Minions Were Once Just Plucky Orphans With A Can-Do Attitude And Songs In Their Hearts, That Nightcrawler Really Knows How To Help A Team Leader Relax, And That Most Credit Card Disclosures Actually Include A Regrettably Unstoppable Armageddon (RUA) Clause!<br />
<br />
Red Eyes Don't Prevent Blue Balls!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 077, X-Men #95, October 1975
X-Aspirations Episode 077<br />
X-Men #95, October 1975<br />
"Warhunt!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Plotted by Len Wein, Penciled by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Sam Grainger, Lettered by Karen Mantlo, Colors by Petra Goldberg, Edited by Marv Wolfman<br />
<br />
Wolf Man And the Gerber, Baby!<br />
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In Which We Learn That The Time Colossus Has Spent In America Is A Mixed Bag Of Exhilarating Freedoms And Debilitating Eating Disorders, That Storm Is The Bane of American Plumbing, And That The Secret Shame Of Cyclops Is His Inabilty To Understand Digital Countdown Technology!<br />
<br />
Still No Pie For Seamus!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 078, X-Men #96, December 1975
X-Aspirations Episode 078<br />
X-Men #96, December 1975<br />
"Night of The Demon!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Plot Assist by Bill Mantlo, Penciled by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Sam Grainger, Lettered by Dave Hunt, Colors by Phil Rachelson, Edited by Marv Wolfman<br />
<br />
Gaming The System!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Xavier Ignores EPA Waste Disposal Guidelines When It Comes To Portals To Evil Netherworlds, That Most Anti-Mutant Genocidal Maniacs Do Not Spend Enough Time On Their Grant Writing, And That Professor X Is Finally Taking Time Off To Pursue His Dream Of A Psychic Mapquest Business!<br />
<br />
Once You Have Felt The Sharp Bite Of Anthropology, Even A Disgruntled Archeologist Will Give You Pause!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 079, X-Men #97, February 1976
X-Aspirations Episode 079<br />
X-Men #97, February 1976<br />
"My Brother, My Enemy!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Penciled by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Sam Grainger, Lettered by Annette Kaye, Colors by Don Warfield, Edited by Marv Wolfman<br />
<br />
New Marvel, NOW 25% Less Uncanny!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Colossus Is Learning That Men With Tails Make Lousy Wing Men, That The Secret To Interstellar Warfare Is A Delicate Balance of Speed, Stealth, Destructive Force, and… Adorability, And That Airline Cockpits Are All Cigar Smoke And Sorrowful Love That Can Not Be!<br />
<br />
Cyclops Should Really Consider Getting A Fetish Vault!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 080, X-Men #98, April 1976
X-Aspirations Episode 080<br />
X-Men #98, April 1976<br />
"Merry Christmas, X-Men..."<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Penciled by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Sam Grainger, Lettered by Joe Rosen, Colors by Janice Cohen, Edited by Marv Wolfman<br />
<br />
Claremont as Crystal!<br />
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In Which We Discover That The X-Mansion Undergarment Situation Is Becoming Desperate, That Nothing Ruins Romantic Mojo Like Artificial Humanoids, And That All Marvel Scientists Want To Pretend They Know Astronomy, You Know, Because It Is Awesome!<br />
<br />
The Only Good Eagle Is a Spread Eagle!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 081, X-Men #99, June 1976
X-Aspirations Episode 081<br />
X-Men #99, June 1976<br />
"Deathstar, Rising!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Penciled by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Frank Chiara, Lettered by Irving W., Colors by Michele W., Edited by Marv Wolfman<br />
<br />
We Must Remain Ever Vigilante!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Everyone Is Afraid To Ask Nightcrawler What Exactly Happens At A Jahrmarkt, That No Matter Their Color, Creed, or Country Postal Workers Are Always Disgruntled, And That Cyclops Just Wants To Be Able To Pass Through A Macy's Without Coming Out Smelling Like A French Whore!<br />
<br />
SPKA DAMM, Woman, You Look Fine!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 082, X-Men #100, August 1976
X-Aspirations Episode 082<br />
X-Men #100, August 1976<br />
"Greater Love Hath No X-Man..."<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Art by Dave Cockrum, Lettered by Annette K., Colors by Bonnie W., Edited by Marv Wolfman<br />
<br />
A Billion Reasons For More X-Movies!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Sharing a Primary Color Will Not Bring Nightcrawler Any Closer To Snagging a BFF, That Wolverine and Colossus Had Substantially Less Success Doing Their Wicked Googly, And That One Does Not Want To Even Ask Banshee How Many Ladies Go Into A Celtic Knot!<br />
<br />
All This And A Lloyd Bentson Shout Out!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 083, X-Men #101, October 1976
X-Aspirations Episode 083<br />
X-Men #101, October 1976<br />
"Like A Phoenix, From The Ashes!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Frank Chiaramonte, Lettered by John Costanza, Colors by Bonnie Wilford, Edited by Archie Goodwin<br />
<br />
Archie and Shooter Monkeying Around!<br />
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In Which We Learn That The X-Men Are Completely Deserving of Their Lifetime Triborough Airport Ban, That When Wolverine Came To The Big City He Traded In His Dreams For A Soiled Pair Of Thigh High Chaps, And That Banshee Knows Better Than To Look A Dead Gift Horse In The Mouth!<br />
<br />
For The Love Of God Has Xavier Never Heard of a Stay-Cation?<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 084, X-Men #102, December 1976
X-Aspirations Episode 084<br />
X-Men #102, December 1976<br />
"Who Will Stop The Juggernaut?"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Sam Grainger, Lettered by John Costanza, Colors by Bonnie Wilford, Edited by Archie Goodwin<br />
<br />
A Glowing Nose Is An Obvious Mutation!<br />
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In Which We Find That Storm’s Fear of Confined Spaces Is Only Dwarfed By Her Dread of Charles Dickens Musicals, That Kurt Will Dance If He Wants To But He Won’t Leave His Friends Behind, And That Cain Marko Has Never Forgiven Xavier For Breaking His Officially Licensed Kirk Communicator!<br />
<br />
And Can We Finally End This Ridiculous Slanket vs. Janket Feud!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 085, X-Men #103, February 1977
X-Aspirations Episode 085<br />
X-Men #103, February 1977<br />
"The Fall Of The Tower"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Sam Grainger, Lettered by John Costanza, Colors by Janice Cohen, Edited by Archie Goodwin<br />
<br />
Our First Book Review Is Most Illuminado-ing!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Considering His Present Diminutive Company Nightcrawler Might Want To Beware Itinerant Apple Bearing Witches, That When Dealing With Leprechauns It Won’t Be Spare Change You Find in Your Couch Cushions, And That The Earth Will Soon Tremble Before The Combined Might Of Moon Unit And Dweezil!<br />
<br />
They Should Call It A Van Helsing Generator!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 086, X-Men #104, April 1977
X-Aspirations Episode 086<br />
X-Men #104, April 1977<br />
"The Gentleman's Name Is Magneto"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Sam Grainger, Lettered by Patterson, Colors by A. Yanchus, Edited by Archie Goodwin<br />
<br />
Who You Calling Yellow, Kid?!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That If There Is One Thing The Scots Are Known For It Is Their Devotion To The Domestic Arts, That Everyone Loves Banshee And His New Delicious Crispy Outer Shell, And That Wolverine's Girlfriend Is Always On Him About Never Remembering Important Anniversaries, Birthdays, or His Origin Story!<br />
<br />
Hey Kids! Guess What's Not Magnetic? Lead! Just Shoot Him In The Face!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 087, X-Men #105, June 1977
X-Aspirations Episode 087<br />
X-Men #105, June 1977<br />
"Phoenix Unleashed!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Bob Layton, Lettered by Tom Orz, Colors by Andy Yanchus, Edited by Archie Goodwin<br />
<br />
Rarebits Help McKay With Finding Nemo?!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Embodying All Cosmic Destruction And Rebirth Does Not Mean You Can Dish A Good Biscuit, That Mister Fantastic Should Never Trust A Car Valet Wearing Ruby Red Eyeglasses, And That Even Heralds of Galactus Know Never To Put Anything In Their Ear Canals… Except For Their Elbow!<br />
<br />
Funny McFaddenPants Lives!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 088, X-Men #106, August 1977
X-Aspirations Episode 088<br />
X-Men #106, August 1977<br />
"Dark Shroud of the Past!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont and Bill Mantlo, Pencils by Dave Cockrum and Bob Brown, Inked by Tom Sutton, Lettered by Sam Rosen, Colors by Andy Yanchus, Edited by Archie Goodwin<br />
<br />
Ask Not For Whom The Marriage Bells Toll, They Toll For Charlie!<br />
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In Which We Find That For Teleportation Nightcrawler Has No Choice But To Use His Night and Weekend Minutes, That As A Canadian Wolverine Is Unable To Resist A Fine Ice Sluice, And That Once The X-Men Meet Xavier's Alter Ego They Will Be Green With Envy!<br />
<br />
Cyke, Cyke, Cyke of the X-Men, Watch Out For That Tree!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 089, X-Men #107, October 1977
X-Aspirations Episode 089<br />
X-Men #107, October 1977<br />
"Where No X-Man Has Gone Before!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inked by Dan Green, Lettered by Sam Rosen, Colors by Andy Yanchus, Edited by Archie Goodwin<br />
<br />
Legion's Hair Disease?<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That No One Gets Wolverine's Constant References To Early Silver Screen Comedic Duos, That You Haven't Seen An Old Boys Club Until You Have Seen An Old Boys Club Entirely Composed of Insect Men, And That Xavier's Embodiment Of All His Psychic Energy, Potential, and Focus Is Kind Of A Man-Slut!kend Minutes, That As A Canadian Wolverine Is Unable To Resist A Fine Ice Sluice, And That Once The X-Men Meet Xavier's Alter Ego They Will Be Green With Envy!<br />
<br />
Sure, The Double Spiked Tongue Is Off-Putting At First But Believe Me, Try A Bifurcated Smack And You Will Not Go Back!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 090, X-Men #108, December 1977
X-Aspirations Episode 090<br />
X-Men #108, December 1977<br />
"Armageddon Now!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inked by Terry Austin, Lettered by Wohl and Orz, Colors by Andy Yanchus, Edited by Archie Goodwin<br />
<br />
If You Play With Fire You Will Get John Byrne!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Most Space Pirate Lizardmen Would Kill For A Tube Of Chapstick, That Alien Guard Dwarfs Fearlessly Wield Their Crotches Like Pubescent Girl Gymnists, And That Ben Affleck Was This Close To Going With The Story Of The X-Men and the M'Kraan Crystal, Only Alan Arkin Refused To Wear The Damn Adamantium Claws!<br />
<br />
Try Banshee's Irish Throat Blasters! Now With Twice The Menthalyptus!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 091, X-Men #109, February 1978
X-Aspirations Episode 091<br />
X-Men #109, February 1978<br />
"Home Are The Heroes!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inked by Terry Austin, Lettered by Joe Rosen, Colors by Andy Yanchus, Edited by Archie Goodwin<br />
<br />
Don't Byrne Your Bridges!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Sharing A Bedroom Wall With Banshee Must Be A Total Nightmare, That Colossus Needs To Recognize That Not Every Hairy Dude Wants To Be Compared to Chewbacca, And That When Wolverine Wears Someone's Leopardtard, He Is Sharing Costumes With Everyone THEY Shared WITH and Everyone THEY Shared WITH and So On…<br />
<br />
Olivia Newton John Is The Last Missing Summers Sibling! Her Mutant Ability? Body Talk!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 092, X-Men #110, April 1978
X-Aspirations Episode 092<br />
X-Men #110, April 1978<br />
"The 'X'-Sanction!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Art by Tony DeZuniga and Dave Cockrum, Lettered by Annette Kawecki, Colors by Andy Yanchus, Edited by Archie Goodwin<br />
<br />
Don't Make Hulk Angry… By Refusing To Buy Back His Cocaine!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Wolverine Treats Every Problem Like A Gordian Knot, That The Mansion Workplace Environment Really Improved Once The Professor Instituted The No Pining For Jean Grey Rule, And That Wolverine Likes To Win His Ladies The Right Way: Popping The Biggest Claw!<br />
<br />
Being Wolverine's Secret Santa Is A Thankless Task!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 093, X-Men #111, June 1978
X-Aspirations Episode 093<br />
X-Men #111, June 1978<br />
"Mind Games!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Edited by Archie Goodwin<br />
<br />
Wolfman Gets A Case of Heart Byrne!<br />
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In Which We Learn That Beast Has A Singin' In The Rain Wardrobe Always At The Ready, That You Have To Pay Extra For The Yukon Blow Off, And That Wolverine Is McCoy's Feral Brother of Another Mother!<br />
<br />
No Hypnotist Can Stand Before The Awesome Might Of Conjuctivitis!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 094, X-Men #112, August 1978
X-Aspirations Episode 094<br />
X-Men #112, August 1978<br />
"Magneto Triumphant!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Bruce Patterson, Edited by Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
K-Ruff The Criminal Dog!<br />
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In Which We Find That Magneto Is Like a Box Of Chocolates, Only Its Just Two Flavors And They Both Taste Nasty, That While Moira MacTaggert May Look Good In The French Maid Outfit That Is As Far as It Goes, And That Wolverine Has a Rational Fear of Giant Knives In His Face!<br />
<br />
There Is One Reason Most of South America Is Flyover Country: Jaguars!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 095, X-Men #113, September 1978
X-Aspirations Episode 095<br />
X-Men #113, September 1978<br />
"Showdown!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by A. Kawecki, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Every Mutt Has His Day!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Scott Needs To Use His Words When He Makes Boom Boom, That If You Give Storm A Bowl Of Cherries You'll Get Back A Pile Of Bowline and Hitch Knots, And That With Four Opposable Thumbs No One Should Be Surprised That The Beast Gets So Handsy!<br />
<br />
It Is Not The Heat That Gets Magneto It Is The Lack Of Humidity!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 096, X-Men #114, October 1978
X-Aspirations Episode 096<br />
X-Men #114, October 1978<br />
"Desolation!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Jean Simek, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Do Touch This Podcast With A 39 and Half Foot Pole!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That One Should Never Bother A Living Embodiment Of Rebirth Until After Its First Cup Of Coffee, That Wolverine Is Basically A Walking Cable-Knit Sweater, And That Summers Can Not Decide Whether To Get The Tom Sellick Or Go For The Full Oates! <br />
<br />
On An Unrelated Note, My Wife Forbade Me To Travel To Antarctica. Thanks A Lot Banshee!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 097, X-Men #115, November 1978
X-Aspirations Episode 097<br />
X-Men #115, November 1978<br />
"Visions of Death!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Rick Parker, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Mo Maddy, She Wrote Me A Letter!<br />
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In Which We Learn That The Savage Land May Destroy Your Shirt But The Delicious Mansculpting Kind Of Makes Up For It, That Cyclops Is Such A Coward That Not Even Kenny Rogers Could Redeem Him, And That I'll Be Fine With Flame Skin Drawings As Long As They Cut The Stupid Chinese Symbols Crap! You Don't Speak Flame Chinese Either, Poseur! <br />
<br />
Well, It Really Matters Exactly Which Parts Are Petrified, Doesn't It?!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 098, X-Men #116, December 1978
X-Aspirations Episode 098<br />
X-Men #116, December 1978<br />
"To Save The Savage Land"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Verpooten In The Lappings of Luxury!<br />
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In Which We Find That The Pterodactyl Men Would Be Wise To Invest In Some High Quality Bond Stationery, That Banshee Has a Body Built For Ladies But A Mouth Designed For Rest Stops, And That It Looks Like Cyclops Needs To Stop Skipping Xavier's Zoomba Classes! <br />
<br />
More Ken Howard Trivia: The White Shadow Was The First Ensemble Drama on Prime-Time Television With a Predominantly African-American Cast!<br />
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X-Aspirations Special Edition - X-Men: Days of Future Past
X-Aspirations Special Episode Podcast<br />
X-Men: Days of Future Past<br />
Starring James McAvoy, Patrick Stewart, Ian Mckellen, and Michael Fassbender as Professor X and Magneto. And of course Hugh Jackman as Wolverine! Directed by Bryan Singer. <br />
<br />
We lie down again and take our second foray into Marvel Mutant Movies! Check out what we thought of this X-Mash-Up of epic proportions. Just as a warning, we spoil the heck out of it after that. So listen with care.
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X-Aspirations Ep. 099, X-Men #117, January 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 099<br />
X-Men #117, January 1979<br />
"Psi War!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Clem Robins, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Marvel And Its Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That What Lilandra Really Wants To Be Empress of Is The Local Sephora, That Xavier came to Cairo for the Sex Tourism, but Stayed For The Astral Sex Tourism, That Twilight’s Bella and The Smith’s Morrisey Have Both Just Arrived To Tell Xavier To Cheer The F*%^ Up!! <br />
<br />
Power Man and Iron Fist Have Stopped Running Love-Seeking Personals. For Some Reason They Only Get The Freaks!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 100, X-Men #118, February 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 100<br />
X-Men #118, February 1979<br />
"The Submergence of Japan"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Ric Villamonte, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Sometimes You Clip, Sometimes You Get Clipped!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Colossus Has Both A Hulk Fetish And The Torn Pants To Prove It, That If Sunfire Drops Just One More "Woman" Epithet Then The Only Thing Left Capable Of Rising On His Torso Wil Be His Sun, And That Wolverine Is The Best At What He Does And What He Does Is Love Anachronistic Geishas That Are Still Out of His League! <br />
<br />
Waiting For The Other Shoe To Plop!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 101, X-Men #119, March 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 101<br />
X-Men #119, March 1979<br />
"Twas The Night Before Christmas..."<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Costanza, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Hatfield and McCoys Got Nothing On Us!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That One Should Fear Nightcrawler And His Arsenal Of Swirlies, Indian Burns, and Red Bellies, That Colleen Wing Is Desperately Trying To Get On The Right Email Lists, or Phone Trees, or Maybe Just Set Her RSS Fields Correctly, And That Jean Does Not Understand Why Misty Knight Insists On Telling Her How Japan Is Super Boring And No One's Boyfriends Ever Double Die There! <br />
<br />
Yikes! An Uncomfortably Large Quantity Of Porn Talk!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 102, X-Men #120, April 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 102<br />
X-Men #120, April 1979<br />
"Wanted: Wolverine! Dead or Alive!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Catch A Rising Starlin!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That There Is No Shame Greater Than The Mid-Plane Walk of Shame, That Storm Would Be Perfect For Hair or Equus or Really Any Play Where She Can Hang Out Her Junk, And That, Yes, Banshee Did Try Adding Both Ginger and Honey To Hot Chamomile And Now Would Like You To Shut Up With All Your Home Brewed Throat Bullcrap!<br />
<br />
Our Ignorance Of Canada May Be Broad, But Our Casual Dismissiveness Is Deep!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 103, X-Men #121, May 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 103<br />
X-Men #121, May 1979<br />
"Shoot-Out at the Stampede!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Diana Albers, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
An Instance Of Classic!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Sugar and Spice and PCP-Ice, That's What Calgary Is Made Of, That Most Supervillainy Is Just A Side Effect Of Grumpy Tummies, And That If Vindicator Is Not Careful He Might Just Fly His F-14 Tomcat Right Into The Danger Zone!!!<br />
<br />
Vindicator Promised Logan It Wouldn't Get Weird! But, Yeah, It Got Weird.<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 104, X-Men #122, June 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 104<br />
X-Men #122, June 1979<br />
"Cry for the Children!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Whole House Helps With Hopeful Heroes!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Wolverine is a Worker's Comp Lawsuit Waiting To Happen, That On the Shi'Ar Homeworld No One Can Avoid The Noid, and That Colleen Wing Is Looking For a House Call From The One-Eyed Wonder! It Is Both Not What You Are Thinking and Totally Is!<br />
<br />
I Knew A Kid Named Bluey In High School. Very Popular.<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 105, X-Men #123, July 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 105<br />
X-Men #123, July 1979<br />
"Listen -- Stop Me if You've Heard It -- But This One Will Kill You!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
A Festival of Internecine Fights!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Ororo Must Be By Far the Cleanest Member of the X-men, That Colossus Has Finally Earned His Big Boy Pants, And That Arcade Has Managed To Merge His Three Greatest Passions: Homicide, Inflatable Latex, and Who Rock Operas!<br />
<br />
If There Is One Thing We Know about Banshee It Is That He Loves Idiosyncratic Language, Particularly Mixtures of Standard English Lexical Items With Neologistic Multilingual Puns and Portmanteau Words! Well That, And Tobacco!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 106, X-Men #124, August 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 106<br />
X-Men #124, August 1979<br />
"He Only Laughs When I Hurt!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Dungeons and Diagrams!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That There Is No Crisis Storm Can Not Face Through Increased Teenage Boy Titillation, That Half A Villainess Costume Might Not Be Better Than None, And That Cyclops Found His Red Cross Training Got Him More Than Just A Renewal Of His Lifeguard Certification! <br />
<br />
One Should Never Underestimate The Destructive Power Of The Letter 'Z'! Pronounced like it Rhymes With Bee not Bed, I am Looking At You England!<br />
<br />
<br>Check out the Elana Pritchard Jailhouse Comics at
http://www.laweekly.com/arts/when-a-cartoonist-landed-in-la-county-jail-she-drew-what-she-saw-using-only-a-golf-pencil-5315346 </br>
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 107, X-Men King-Size Annual #3, August 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 107<br />
X-Men King-Size Annual #3, August 1979<br />
"A Fire in the Sky!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by George Perez, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Perez And Accounted For!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Logan Could Have Saved This Civilization If He Had Only Finished His Online Vocational Electronics Course, That Nightcrawler's Greatest Nemesis Is The Rotary Phone, And That No Abducted Lady's Wardrobe Is Complete Without A Metal Bikini! <br />
<br />
Combining Tight Leather Bondage Gear And Excessive Body Hair Definitely Requires An Enhanced Healing Factor!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 108, The Uncanny X-Men #125, September 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 108<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #125, September 1979<br />
"There's Something Awful on Muir Island!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Rom, Rom, Rom Your Boat, Gently Down The Stream!!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Wolverine Has Been Insufferable Ever Since Nightcrawler Broke the Keurig Machine, That Jean Grey Has Been Traveling the Mediterranean Learning the Tantric Secrets of the Yoni and the Emotional Voids, And That At Last The X-Men Can Really Celebrate Because Everyone is Not Dead! Well, Except Changeling, but F--- That Guy! <br />
<br />
We Apologize For Our Anti-Orange Being Comments. The Jokes Were Crude and Thoughtless and We Had No Idea People of Orange Color Actually Had Tri-Genitals. Our bad.<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 109, The Uncanny X-Men #126, October 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 109<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #126, October 1979<br />
"How Sharper Than A Serpent's Tooth...!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Oh, You Mutie Things!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Hunting Naked Men Is One Of The Fifty Shades of Jean Grey, That Madrox Is Only One Step Above A Tennis Ball On A Stick, And That Mutant X May Have One Further Weakness: Love… And A Debilitating Addiction To Prescription Medication. Also, Chocoholic! <br />
<br />
We Have Just Two Weaknesses… And They Are Both Russian Accents!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 110, The Uncanny X-Men #127, November 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 110<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #127, November 1979<br />
"The Quality of Hatred!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Proceed Directly To Market, Do Not Pass Go!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Moira MacTaggert's Past Is More Sordid Than A Moist Towelette At A Brothel, That Cyclops Runs The Worst Team Building Exercises, And That If Sophocles Had Written For Comic Books He Would Probably Have Asked Claremont To Cool It With All The Creepy Mom Sex Stuff! <br />
<br />
You Can Disparage Banshee's Virility All You Want, But Go After His Swiss Miss And There Will Be Hell To Pay!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 111, The Uncanny X-Men #128, December 1979
X-Aspirations Episode 111<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #128, December 1979<br />
"The Action Of The Tiger!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Sim-ply The Best?<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Storm Is A Friend To All Be They Beast Or Building Material, That Elephants Never Forget Their First Interspecies Sexual Predator, And That Moira Has Found The Warm Joy Of A Set Of Stainless Steel Twigs 'n Berries!<br />
<br />
When Proteus Asked For A Summers Boys Double Team He Did Not Get What He Wanted At All!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 112, The Uncanny X-Men #129, January 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 112<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #129, January 1980<br />
"God Spare the Child..."<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bob Sharen, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
The Con That Conned The Comic Con!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That When Flying Always Check Where Your Closest Concubine Is, Keeping In Mind It May Be Behind You, That Wolverine Does Not Even Pretend To Read Them For The Articles, And That Frankly My Jean, I Don't Give A Damn!<br />
<br />
Just Remember, Emma Can Melt Your Brain With A Thought, But It Was Emma That Burst Onto The Scene With Judd Apatow's Superbad! <br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 113, The Uncanny X-Men #130, February 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 113<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #130, February 1980<br />
"Dazzler"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
If You Can’t Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bo Derek!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Wolverine Lives In Constant Fear Of Recklessly Fast Zipper Pull-Ups, That Like Many Girls Jean Grey Dreams Of A Traditional, Intimate Wedding In A Quaint Church That Only Partially Smells of Its Own Fiery Conflagration, And That There Are Two Things Dazzler Loves: Driving Disco Beats And Speculative Fiction By The Dean Of Science Fiction!<br />
<br />
C’mon Hanes! The X-men Desperately Need A Sponsorship Deal!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 114, The Uncanny X-Men #131, March 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 114<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #131, March 1980<br />
"Run For Your Life!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
The Female Is The Deadlier of the Artistes!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That The Hellfire Minion Funniest Facial Expression Contest Always Ends In A 20-Way Tie, That 1970s Detroit Builds Nothing The X-Men Won't Mangle, And That Kitty Pryde Is Just Not Sure She Can Deal With The Amount of X-Nudity Required!<br />
<br />
Hey Jean, Mike Tyson Called To Say That He Is Really Worried About You!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 115, The Uncanny X-Men #132, April 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 115<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #132, April 1980<br />
"And Hellfire Is Their Name!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
KISS Arose From Jean Grey!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Wolverine May Be Murder On The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, But He Better Watch Himself With The International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, That You Can't Toss A Rock In The Marvel Universe Without Hitting An Over-Priviliged Hellfire Club Member, And That Only Jean Grey Can Control Scott's Blasts... If You Know What I Mean!<br />
<br />
Candy Southern Swings, By Which I Of Course Mean That Her Bedroom Has An Actual Swing Set! It's 1980, Baby!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 116, The Uncanny X-Men #133, May 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 116<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #133, May 1980<br />
"Wolverine: Alone!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter<br />
<br />
Holding On For A Hero Til The End of The Line!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Unlike Folgers, Wolverine Is Not Good To The Last Drop, That Bjork Has Nothing On Moira MacTaggart's Fashion Sense, And That Jean May Have Just Earned Herself ALL The Racial Sensitivity Seminars. To The End of Time!<br />
<br />
Ironically, Dumb Waiters Are Extremely Thought Provoking!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 117, The Uncanny X-Men #134, June 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 117<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #134, June 1980<br />
"Too Late The Heroes!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bob Sharen, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Heck It, We'll Do It Live Action!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Wolverine Ain't Heavy He's My Mutantly-Enhanced Mass Brother, That Beneath Colossus' Metal Skin Beats The Heart of An Easily Distracted Poet, And That If Storm Hears One More 'Let It Go' refrain from Nightcrawler, He's A Dead Elf!<br />
<br />
Always Avoid Any Power Sharing Agreement With Jean Grey!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 118, The Uncanny X-Men #135, July 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 118<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #135, July 1980<br />
"Dark Phoenix"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bob Sharen, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Got A... Stranger Magic!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Nightcrawler Knows That Dying Is Easy But It Is Comedy That Is Hard, That Ironically Peter Rasputin Is Currently Reading The Golden Bough, And That In The 12-Step Program For Omnipotence, It Is That Amends Step That Really Eats Up All Your Time!<br />
<br />
Alas, Bobby, The Lowest Cut Of All Is To Be Ranked Below Angel!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 119, The Uncanny X-Men #136, August 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 119<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #136, August 1980<br />
"Child of Light and Darkness!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bob Sharen, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Retaining The Right To Reserve Judgment Day!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That The Greatest Threat To Most Alien Civilizations Is That No One Can Pronounce Anyone Else's Name, That Parental Guilt Trips Scale With The Amount of Omnipotence One Possesses So Mathematically You Actually Can Never Be Good Enough, And That No, Xavier Can Not Let Scott Have Even Just This One!<br />
<br />
Will We Ever Learn The Difference Between C&C Music Factory and Snap!? Probably Not.<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 120, The Uncanny X-Men #137, September 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 120<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #137, September 1980<br />
"The Fate of the Phoenix!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Jim Salicrup and Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Don't Cry, We'll Be Back Again Some Month!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Five Billion Is Actually The Loneliest Number, That The Only Way For The X-Men To Save Jean Is To Go The Full Monty, And That Gladiator Does Not Want You To Hate Him Because He Is Beautiful!<br />
<br />
You Can Forget Their Weird Tears, Because The Shi'Ar Also Poop Ampersands!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 121, The Uncanny X-Men #138, October 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 121<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #138, October 1980<br />
"Elegy"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. <br />
<br />
Once You Go Black Panther...<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Shi'Ar Culture May Overvalue Their Novelty Snow Globes, That Scott Now Has Both Rose Colored Glasses And Boots Made For Walking, And That One Can Not Underestimate The Value of A Well Placed Jacket Flap To Get Around The Comics' Code!<br />
<br />
Wait, Remind Me. Exactly Which Stage Of Grief Is The Supervillain Montage?<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 122, X-Men Annual #4, November 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 122<br />
X-Men Annual #4, November 1980<br />
"Nightcrawler's Inferno"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Romita, Jr., Inks by Bob McLeod, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. <br />
<br />
All That Glitters Is Not X-Men Gold!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Nightcrawler Can Finally Ditch His Fake ID, That Kitty Pryde Has The Drinking Habits Of A Bitter Joan Crawford, And That It's Hard Out Here For A Sorcerer Supreme, Getting Enough Magic For His Rent!<br />
<br />
Storm Gets Only 78% Of The Praise Of Her Male X-Men Counterparts!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 123, The Uncanny X-Men #139, November 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 123<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #139, November 1980<br />
"...Something Wicked This Way Comes!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. <br />
<br />
Easy Peasey, Writer Weezie!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That When Your Hands Are Can Openers Every Problem Is A Can, That Shaman Often Calls Upon The Four Winds and the Spirit Moon To Keep His Toes Dry And Chafe-Free, And That Snowbird Defies Stereotypes of Both Traditional Femininity And Feminine Voice Work!<br />
<br />
Wow, Canada Has Upwards of Ten Provinces!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 124, The Uncanny X-Men #140, December 1980
X-Aspirations Episode 124<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #140, December 1980<br />
"Rage!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. <br />
<br />
Me Too, Marvel!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That There Is Nothing Like The Bond That Forms Between Two Men And A Nice Large Stump, That Smokey The Bear Is Mostly A Symbol Of The Ineffectiveness of Civilization In Battling the Elemental Might of Fire. And Also, He Is A Total Hoser, And That The Toughest Battles of Wolverine's Early Years Were Keeping Three People Under A Single Comforter!<br />
<br />
Hey Mama! You're Listening To This Podcast, I Am In This Podcast... We Should Make Beautiful Music Together!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 125, The Uncanny X-Men #141, January 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 125<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #141, January 1981<br />
"Days of Future Past"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. <br />
<br />
Jam A Firework Wherever A Spider Can!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Danger Room Brunch is the Deadliest Brunch of All, That Pillsbury Breads Should Never Be Substituted for any Feminine Hygiene Products, And That Somehow Walter Mondale's Candidacy Was Even More Disastrous in X-Men Continuity!<br />
<br />
Bobby Darrin Wouldn't Last Three Seconds in a Mutant Apocalypse!<br />
<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 126, The Uncanny X-Men #142, February 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 126<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #142, February 1981<br />
"Mind Out of Time!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. <br />
<br />
I Can See For Miles And Milestones!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Kitty Pryde Is Just Like Indian Food, She Goes Right Through You, That Ororo Likes Countries Like She Likes Her Men: Big Enough That They Don't Trigger Her Debilitating Claustrophobia, And That With A Large Enough Wolverine Colossus Could Move The World!<br />
<br />
Mystique Has Seen Everything Travolta Has Ever Done -- She Even Kinda Digged "Wild Hogs"!<br />
<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 127, The Uncanny X-Men #143, March 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 127<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #143, March 1981<br />
"Demon"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. <br />
<br />
Countdown to the Final Byrne!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Xavier's Woods Is No Place For Erotic Tree Removal, That This Is Not The First Time Kitty's Perfume Has Been Confused With An Evil Miasma, And That Moving In On Logan's Girl Has Two Parts: 1- Upside Down Kissing and 2- You In Two Parts!<br />
<br />
Chris Pratt Is 38 Years Old and This Is The Only Place You Will Ever Find That Information!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 128, The Uncanny X-Men #144, April 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 128<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #144, April 1981<br />
"Even In Death..."<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Brent Anderson, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
It Is Just One Of Those Things!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That A D'Spayre Family Reunion Will Always Run Out Of Apostrophes, That As Far As Cyclops Is Concerned The Color Of Money Is Ruby Red, And That For A Demonic Incarnation Of The Darkest Human Emotions, D'Spayre Sure Tosses A Lot Of Evil Spaghetti At The Wall Hoping Something Sticks!<br />
<br />
If Scott Wants To Get Ahead In The Competitive World of Deep Sea Fishing He'll "Put In" The Extra Hours The Boss Requested!<br />
<br />
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Listen:
X-Aspirations Ep. 129, The Uncanny X-Men #145, May 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 129<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #145, May 1981<br />
"Kidnapped!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Joe Rosen, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Nothing More True Than Heroics At Ten Stories!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That If Nothing Else The Opera Is A Perfect Place To Bone Down, That Doctor Doom Decorations Nefariously Emphasize Form Over Function, And That A Surprisingly High Percentage of the X-men Are Experts in Nude Combat!<br />
<br />
The Hardest Part About Getting a Nondescript Doctorate Is Trying To Advance to Indeterminate Candidacy!<br />
<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 130, The Uncanny X-Men #146, June 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 130<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #146, June 1981<br />
"Murderworld!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Join The Merry Marvel Marching Conglomerate!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That There Is Surprisingly Little Difference Between Fine Spa Amenities And Nightmare Death Traps, That Wolverine's Disgust of Op Art Stems From His College Roomate's Magic Eye Posters - A Robust Collection of Marijuana Leaves and Dongs, And That Apparently What You Get For The Assassin Who Has Everything Is Novelty Neckties!<br />
<br />
Ice Man Has Most Definitely Come To Final Terms With His Polaris Dumping And He Wishes Her And Havok All The BEST VENEREAL DISEASES!!!<br />
<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 131, The Uncanny X-Men #147, July 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 131<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #147, July 1981<br />
"Rogue Storm!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
There's No Biz Like Toy Biz!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That The Professor and Doom Are Subscribers To The Same Torture Room Monthly, That Henchmen Only Really Hench For The Fringe Benefits, And That Wolverine Is Working Hard To Broaden Himself With More Focused Mindless Slashing!<br />
<br />
Doctor Doom's Signature Move Is Asking Scantily Clad Heroes Up To His Room To See His Charcoal Sketches... And If That Works Out, It's Devices Time!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 132, The Uncanny X-Men #148, August 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 132<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #148, August 1981<br />
"Cry, Mutant!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Janice Chiang, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Quality, Value, Convenience, and Mutation!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Wolverine Is A Dark Master Of The High Shoulder Stab, That You Can Say Whatever You Want About Caliban's Hideous Disfigurement, But He Can Get You Into Any Club in Manhattan, And That It Is Not Even The First Time Tonight That Someone Has Stripped Under A Table at Club Infinity!<br />
<br />
Not All Women Pine For Cyclops' Noble, Brooding Heart - Some Just Want A Delicious Dose Of Those Chiseled, Ruby-Red Abs!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 133, The Uncanny X-Men #149, September 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 133<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #149, September 1981<br />
"And the Dead Shall Bury the Living!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Janice Chang, Colors by Don Warfield, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Bulgarian Rhapsody?!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Wolverine Skipped the Entire Underpants Grappling Section of The Workplace Harassment Manual, That There Is Never a Piece of Food That Can't Be Improved By Shoving More Food Into It, And That The X-men Don't Understand Kitty And Never Will Because They Are Stupid And Old And Smelly And She Hates Them Sooooo Much!<br />
<br />
There Is One Undisputed X-men Strength: Ball Specials!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 134, The Uncanny X-Men #150, October 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 134<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #150, October 1981<br />
"I, Magneto..."<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Josef Rubinstein and Bob Wiacek, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Double Issue Double Pumping!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Wolverine Is A Serial Lady Dunker, That Scott Summers Finds Impossible Lovecraftian Geometry Surprisingly Sexy, And That While Magneto May Be An Insane Despot, His Musings On Government Resource Allocation Are Surprisingly Compelling!<br />
<br />
Magneto Teaches Us A Critical Lesson: Don’t Wait Too Long To Drop Your Backstory Or Kids Get Hurt!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 135, The Uncanny X-Men #151, November 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 135<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #151, November 1981<br />
"X-Men Minus One!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Jim Sherman and Bob McLeod, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bobbie Wilford, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Oh Ignatz, You Dahlink George Hairy-Man!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Kitty Pryde Is Not A Girl and Not Yet a Woman But She Might Be A Really Old Woman, That In The X-Mansion Swim Wear IS Formal Wear, And That Hellfire Guards Need Their Uniforms For A Lot More Than Just Guard Duty!<br />
<br />
Bonus Bobbit Worm Nightmare Facts: They have up to 7 pairs of jaws, consisting of a mix of mandibles and maxillae while their bodies are covered in stinging, nerve-damaging bristles! Never swim again!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 136, The Uncanny X-Men #152, December 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 136<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #152, December 1981<br />
"The Hellfire Gambit"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Bob McLeod, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Janice Chiang, Colors by Don Warfield, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Festival of Comic De-Lights!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That You Can't Keep Your Emmas Straight From Your Ororos Without A Program, That Kitty Pryde Does Not Just Wake Up Looking This Good, And That Sebastion Shaw Is One Corset Short Of A Rocky Horror Picture Show!<br />
<br />
Now That I Really Think About It, It Might just Have Been a Drunk Homeless Man Who Looked Like Adam Sandler... But He Definitely Said It Was Ok!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 137, The Uncanny X-Men #153, January 1982
X-Aspirations Episode 137<br />
The Uncanny X-Men #153, January 1982<br />
"Kitty's Fairy Tale"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Apocalypse Now? Ask Me How!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That Even The Sugariest of Sugar Daddies Might Not Have Enough Sugar For Routine Sentinel Damage, That Muppet Dolls Are Probably Not Vessels Hosting Spirits of the Damned, Yearning to Return to Our Realm Through The Weak Will of a Storyteller, And That Bilbo Could Have Saved Everyone A Lot of Trouble If He Had Just Jabbed Smaug In The Ass!<br />
<br />
Some Day Soon, There Will Have To Be A Smurf/Snork/Bamf Reckoning… There Can Be Only One! <br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 138, Avengers Annual #10, Summer 1981
X-Aspirations Episode 138<br />
Avengers Annual #10, Summer 1981<br />
"By Friends -- Betrayed!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Michael Golden, Inks by Armando Gil, Lettered by Joe Rosen, Colors by Michael Golden, Edited by Chris Claremont and David Kraft, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
The Captain Marvelous Ms. Marvel!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That The Only Things More Nefarious Than Evil Mutants Are Long Distance Fees, That The Blob Lets His Little Blobs Dangle And You Can't Unsee It, And That Storm Is Not Sure What Exploding Relays Stimulate, But She'll Take Two Of What Kitty Is Having!<br />
<br />
Fertility Is Intensely Personal, But We Can All Agree That Trans-Dimensional Implantation (TDI) Is Too Risky And Too Likely To Result In Megalomaniac Transfers Of The Father. <br />
<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 139, The Uncanny X-men #154, February 1982
X-Aspirations Episode 139<br />
The Uncanny X-men #154, February 1982<br />
"Reunion"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Josef Rubinstein and Bob Wiacek, Lettered by Joe Rosen, Colors by D. Warfield, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Less Bigotry, More Birding!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That You Should Definitely Call The X-Men for Any Demonic Hellscapes You Would Like To Renovate and Flip, That Wolverine Knows Chicks With Damage Give Logan The Hammage, And That The Sidri Can Only Be Defeated With Fire... and Presumably a Glue Trap Baited with Sugar!<br />
<br />
Bad Boys, Bad Boys, What's You Gonna Do When The Cops Dive Bomb Their Chopper On You!!! Helicopter COPS! <br />
<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 140, Wolverine #1, September 1982
X-Aspirations Episode 140<br />
Wolverine #1, September 1982<br />
"I'm Wolverine"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Frank Miller, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
It's Miller Time!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That If You Got Junk In The Trunk You Don't Like Poisoning Bears With Gunk, That If You Name It Logan Can Clench It, And That In Japan You Can't Walk Ten Feet Without Hitting A Shuriken Shower!<br />
<br />
It's Our Summer Spectacular! And Yes, September Is Still Summer! <br />
<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 141, Wolverine #2, October 1982
X-Aspirations Episode 141<br />
Wolverine #2, October 1982<br />
"Debts and Obligations"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Frank Miller, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
It Was A Dark And Returny Knight!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That While Ladies Dig The Abs They Are Turned Off By Murder Sprees, That From Nefari- To Treacher-, Lord Shingen Has All the -Ous's, And That It's Raining Ninja Men! Halllejah, Amen!<br />
<br />
The Summer Series Continues! Yes, I Am Sure It Is Still Summer! It Ends On The Equinox! Go Ahead, Google It!<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 142, Wolverine #3, November 1982
X-Aspirations Episode 142<br />
Wolverine #3, November 1982<br />
"Loss"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Frank Miller, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Rated M - For Miller!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Ninja Is One of The More Overlooked Positions In The Hospitality Industry, That There Are Very Few Times Appropriate For Calling Out Your Ex's Name And After Killing Five Ninjas Is Still Not It, And That When The Mangled Corpses Are All Aligned Along The Garden Rake Tracks That Is Actually Maximum Zen!<br />
<br />
Can't Get Enough Summer In Our Spectacular! Literally! We Are Going To Say The End Of September Still Counts!<br />
<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 143, Wolverine #4, December 1982
X-Aspirations Episode 143<br />
Wolverine #4, December 1982<br />
"Honor"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Frank Miller, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Lynn Varley, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Holy Xenophobia, Miller!<br />
<br />
In Which We Learn That When You Care To Send The Very Best Send A Bloody Ninja Hood, That Yukio Shares The Same Weakness For Netting As Crustaceans, And That Mariko Should Have Skipped Out On Lord Shingen’s Take Your Daughter To Work Day!<br />
<br />
Places not to be sword stabbed, in order of brutality: love handles, soft faces, neck ties, and finally neck ties that are metaphorically not neck ties at all, if you know what I mean.<br />
<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 144, Uncanny X-Men #155, March 1982
X-Aspirations Episode 144<br />
Uncanny X-Men #155, March 1982<br />
"First Blood"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Bob Wiacek, Lettered by Joe Rosen, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.<br />
<br />
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Colorist Scorned!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That It Is Nigh Impossible To Repair The Trauma Of Fractured Familial Bonds Under The Constant Assault Of Alien Incursion, That The Shi’Ar Admiral Always Proudly Displays His Daughter’s Tentacle Art On The Dreadnaught Refrigerator, And That Deathbird Would Have Long Ago Conquered The Galaxy If She Could Stop Buying All Her Weaponry From “As Seen On TV!” <br />
<br />
The Shi’ar Are Slaves To The Whims Of Whomever The Empress Be Banging! <br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 145, Uncanny X-Men #156, April 1982
X-Aspirations Episode 145<br />
Uncanny X-Men #156, April 1982<br />
"Pursuit!"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Bob Wiacek, Lettered by Janice Chiang, Colors by Don Warfield, Edited by Louise Jones.<br />
<br />
NFT Safe For Work?!<br />
<br />
In Which We Find That Bikini-Clad Avengers Have Serious Pocket Problems, That Kitty Is Being Corrupted By The Nihilistic Relativism Of European Pseudo-intellectual Morality And, Also, She Likes Colossus’ Badonkadonk, And That The Three Keys To Extraterrestrial Name Creation Are Apostrophes, Apostrophes, Apostrophes!<br />
<br />
While Storm May Struggle With the Ethics of Euthanasia on a Galactic Scale, We Struggle Equally On The Watchability of The Movie, Stowaway! <br />
<br />
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X-Aspirations Ep. 146, Uncanny X-Men #157, May 1982
X-Aspirations Episode 146<br />
Uncanny X-Men #157, May 1982<br />
"Hide-N-Seek"<br />
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Bob Wiacek, Lettered by Janice Chiang, Colors by Don Warfield, Edited by Louise Jones.<br />
<br />
A Charlie Xavier X-mas!<br />
<br />
In Which We Discover That Hard Vacuum Pushes Piotr Into Another Potential Pushkin, That Kittys Chaotic Costuming Suggests That There
May Be Such A Thing As Too Much Creative Freedom, And That Alien Industrial Design Is Mostly Gtalia-Based Because They Just Nasty!<br />
<br />
Cool Kat Cyclops Might Just Be Trying Too Hard To Impress His Dad!<br />
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